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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Au pair flying home frustrations!

65 replies

Pattakiller · 04/12/2016 17:57

Au pair had told us some time ago that she wanted to stay with us for Christmas and go home just after - all fine.

I had asked her a couple of times in the last month if she had booked her flights, and she hadn't got round to it yet. A couple of days ago I noticed she posted on facebook that she had booked her flight - didn't mention anything to us. I asked her today, and yes - she has booked a 6am flight from the 5th closest airport to us

I asked if she had a plan to get there, having previously explained this airport was hard to get to and there was a coach running once a day to it. She was hoping we would take her, or she would get a bus or train. To be fair we had vaguely said that we would be visiting family about an hours drive from this airport after Christmas and we could possibly combine it with a visit to London/getting her to a train station nearer to the airport. However, she has booked the flight without checking the time or date with us at all!

Am I being unfair to be really annoyed by this expectation that we will arrange our plans to suit her, when she didn't even tell us about the flight until I asked?

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therealpippi · 04/12/2016 18:04

Yanbu to be annoyed.

If she did not involve you in her planning she then cannot expect you to be involved in how she gets there.

If it is not an inconvenience I'd take her but if it clashes with all your plans I wouldn't.

JennyOnAPlate · 04/12/2016 18:23

Yanbu. A 6am flight would seriously interfere with my plans to be asleep! She'll have to check in at 4 presumably!

I would make sure she has exhausted all other methods of getting there before agreeing to take her, that's for sure.

Original poster

Pattakiller · 04/12/2016 19:33

I just don't understand why she wouldn't check if it was feasible before booking the flight - and why not at least tell us immediately!

We're going to be driving to Kent the afternoon before the flight, and she is flying from Stansted - I can't see a sensible way to get her there for 4am, so I've said she's going to have to get to the airport before midnight and wait - I feel like I'm being cruel though.

OP posts:

LIZS · 04/12/2016 19:37

She'll have to stay in the travelodge/premier inn and get up early if she expects a lift.

DailyCRAPMail · 04/12/2016 19:46

That's so silly of her. I'm happy to take my DC to the airport but I won't do middle of the night runs.....

I'd drop her the night before. I doubt she will be the only one waiting there overnight.

Original poster

Pattakiller · 04/12/2016 19:53

I'm worried adding in a stay at an airport hotel and transfers will just add more chances for things going wrong!

I did make clear when we initially talked that Stansted was a fair way outside of London, and that we would be able to get her to London if it coincided with our visit. She doesn't want to have to travel across London on her own either though!

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Original poster

Pattakiller · 04/12/2016 19:54

We would have happily taken her to our local airport, even in the middle of the night, however it would have meant further for her parents to drive to pick her up at the other end.

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DailyCRAPMail · 04/12/2016 19:55

What about dropping her at gatwick on your way to Kent then she can catch a National Express bus to Stanstead? She could arrive late at night and hang around for her flight.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 04/12/2016 19:57

Ffs what a daft thing to do!

BratFarrarsPony · 04/12/2016 19:57

Yes the airport bus is the way forwards, it goes round the M25 I think. Tough for her if she has to hang around at the airport for a few hours really.

venys · 04/12/2016 19:59

One time I accidentally missed a flight from there by a couple of minutes so had to stay at a local B&B. They were lovely and were happy to take us at a similar time back to the airport to get the first flight out. Maybe you could investigate that? But yes YANBU - I get annoyed at other peoples inability to plan properly.

JerryFerry · 04/12/2016 20:01

I'll bet she picked a 6am flight because it was the cheapest option. She won't want to fork out for an airport hotel!

She sounds...young

VintagePerfumista · 04/12/2016 20:05

To be fair, she probably booked it from Stansted because it was the cheapest.

Why are you feeling under any obligation to take her? You had said it may be possible, now you say it isn't. She gets a National Express or two, overnight presumably.

It's not your problem unless you make it so. She's not a baby.

When I au-paired there was no question of being accompanied anywhere other than the nearest bus station!

Just say "well obviously as you'll need to be at Stansted by (say) 4 am, then we won't be able to take you, so have a look at the National Express website, you'll probably need to change or go the previous day and crash down in the airport"

Karoleann · 04/12/2016 20:06

There's no way I would have taken any of mine for a 6am flight....she'll just need tog get the once a day bus and go the day before if necessary.

MrsJayy · 04/12/2016 20:07

Urgh she could have told you get her booked in to airport hotel drop her on your way to Kent get her to book a taxi or see if there is a bus from airport hotel that is the only logical way imo

CondensedMilkSarnies · 04/12/2016 20:09

Could you get her to Liverpool Steeet station ? There's a Stanstead express train that goes from there .

Original poster

Pattakiller · 04/12/2016 20:10

Argh there's just no way I can see to sort this that doesn't involve time/expense and changing our plans

We would be going past Gatwick mid afternoon the day before, so I think that would be too long for her to hang around an airport.

Yes - I've just checked the flights and there is a much more sensible evening one but it is 3 times the price. If she had asked we would have said get that, or even better the one the evening before and we could have dropped her at Gatwick in time to get the airport bus to Stansted.

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CondensedMilkSarnies · 04/12/2016 20:11

www.stanstedexpress.com/timetable/timetable

shinynewusername · 04/12/2016 20:11

National Express airport coach - she'll be fine. And next time, she'll check beforehand

VintagePerfumista · 04/12/2016 20:18

Let her sort it out!

Unless she has some contract with you which promises babysitting and handholding whenever she travels!

Not your problem, not your monkeys. Leave her to it.

Original poster

Pattakiller · 04/12/2016 20:18

I could take her into London for the afternoon/evening the day before while DH takes the kids to where we're staying - then I could put her on a train at Liverpool Street at say 10pm, so she'd get to the airport around 11pm and then wait overnight.
I could then get a train to the station nearest where we're staying and pay a fortune on a taxi.
I'm annoyed though.

If she had booked a flight for that evening we could have dropped her at Gatwick. If she had booked for the following evening we could have all had a day out in London before putting her on a train at tea time.

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VintagePerfumista · 04/12/2016 20:21

And I repeat....why are you making this your problem? You're getting all worked up over something a) you hadn't promised b) she hasn't even asked for! (or am I missing something?)

LIZS · 04/12/2016 20:22

Can't she get national express from Gatwick to Stansted?

Original poster

Pattakiller · 04/12/2016 20:23

She could, but she'd be waiting 15 hours at Stansted.

OP posts:

Original poster

Pattakiller · 04/12/2016 20:25

Vintage - she does want/expect us to get her there, or at least to London, but she is unhappy about travelling across London alone. She is very young, a teenager still, and I want to treat her fairly.

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