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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Au pair flying home frustrations!

65 replies

Pattakiller · 04/12/2016 17:57

Au pair had told us some time ago that she wanted to stay with us for Christmas and go home just after - all fine.

I had asked her a couple of times in the last month if she had booked her flights, and she hadn't got round to it yet. A couple of days ago I noticed she posted on facebook that she had booked her flight - didn't mention anything to us. I asked her today, and yes - she has booked a 6am flight from the 5th closest airport to us

I asked if she had a plan to get there, having previously explained this airport was hard to get to and there was a coach running once a day to it. She was hoping we would take her, or she would get a bus or train. To be fair we had vaguely said that we would be visiting family about an hours drive from this airport after Christmas and we could possibly combine it with a visit to London/getting her to a train station nearer to the airport. However, she has booked the flight without checking the time or date with us at all!

Am I being unfair to be really annoyed by this expectation that we will arrange our plans to suit her, when she didn't even tell us about the flight until I asked?

OP posts:

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MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 04/12/2016 21:06

Maybe lend her a paperback to help pass the time in the airport? The warm, dry, safe airport with seats, shops, loos and places to eat and drink.

ginswinger · 04/12/2016 21:10

When I was 19, I flew all the way to Australia on my own, on a terrible ticket that stopped at every airport on route over 36 hours. Oddly enough, I arrived just fine. Tired but fine. And desperately excited because I'd done it! Best decision because I learnt a lot (mainly about travel planning). Time to toughen up and learn some lessons,

Giselaw · 04/12/2016 21:15

She's inconveniencing you because her parents can't be arsed to drive further to pick her up or pay for a more expensive flight? The minute she didn't consult you before booking her flight, this became her and her parents' problem.

Ditto for return flights. Tell her if she doesn't check with you before she books her flight, she needs to get back on her own time and expense.

She's your au pair, not your teenage child.

shinynewusername · 04/12/2016 21:16

You are doing her a big disservice if you don't let her develop some independence, OP. The whole point of being an au pair is to broaden your experience. It's not doing her any favours to treat her as too delicate to use public transport.

DailyCRAPMail · 04/12/2016 21:16

There is a 10:05 pm bus from Gatwick to Stansted, she just has to sit on the bus until she gets to Stansted so there would be no need for her to worry about crossing London. She would get to Stansted at 1am so wouldn't gave too long to wait.

LIZS · 04/12/2016 21:19

National express are doing some £1 fares. Surprised it takes that long, it must go via somewhere, maybe Heathrow.

Shurelyshomemistake · 04/12/2016 21:26

OP are you paying for the flight or is she? If you, d'you think she was just nervous about discussing money? If her, well, I would say young, naive and probably used to being taxied :D

Original poster

Pattakiller · 04/12/2016 21:34

I think I will give her the option of either

changing her flight for the evening
being dropped at Gatwick the afternoon before (and suggesting she either books a premier inn or stays at Stansted overnight.)
organising it herself

OP posts:

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 04/12/2016 21:37

Or not that used to being taxied if her own parents can't be arsed to drive a bit further!

MrsFogi · 04/12/2016 22:47

This is not your problem. Leaver her to sort it out. Fyi our ap regularly sleeps at the airport the night before to keep the costs to a minimum and says lots of young people do the same.

katieks · 05/12/2016 10:51

When I was 18 I 'camped' overnight at Stansted on more than one occasion to benefit from cheap coach and flight tickets, so I wouldn't worry about it.

DragonRojo · 05/12/2016 19:08

When I was an aupair age 18 I spent many a night in Frankfurt airport. It was the cheapest way to get home. Just let her sort it out. You are getting too involved

NuffSaidSam · 05/12/2016 23:32

Try this company for a quote.

It depends whereabouts in Kent you're going to be, but I've had a car from Kent to Stansted for £65.

I think that's reasonable tbh and so much easier than all the faff and worry. Offer to pay some/all of it as a Christmas bonus?

YelloDraw · 06/12/2016 18:35

If she is responsible enough to be looking after your children, she is a big enough girl to get to the airport on her own. Suggest she goes the night before and books into an airport hotel, or has a kip in the departures hall.

Headofthehousehold · 20/12/2016 19:21

I agree with others, let her sort it out. By all means check the plans but this will be good for her. We all have to grow up sometime

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