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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Au pair flying home frustrations!

65 replies

Pattakiller · 04/12/2016 17:57

Au pair had told us some time ago that she wanted to stay with us for Christmas and go home just after - all fine.

I had asked her a couple of times in the last month if she had booked her flights, and she hadn't got round to it yet. A couple of days ago I noticed she posted on facebook that she had booked her flight - didn't mention anything to us. I asked her today, and yes - she has booked a 6am flight from the 5th closest airport to us

I asked if she had a plan to get there, having previously explained this airport was hard to get to and there was a coach running once a day to it. She was hoping we would take her, or she would get a bus or train. To be fair we had vaguely said that we would be visiting family about an hours drive from this airport after Christmas and we could possibly combine it with a visit to London/getting her to a train station nearer to the airport. However, she has booked the flight without checking the time or date with us at all!

Am I being unfair to be really annoyed by this expectation that we will arrange our plans to suit her, when she didn't even tell us about the flight until I asked?

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MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 04/12/2016 20:26

She sounds a pain in the arse. Let her sort it herself.

I'd offer to drop at Gatwick as you're going there any way and if I was feeling kind I would help her book a coach.

She's made her flight plans bed yadda yadda.

drspouse · 04/12/2016 20:26

Why can't she get the train into and out of London herself?
Lots of teenagers do this regularly.

VintagePerfumista · 04/12/2016 20:27

Nah, I was an au-pair when still a teenager, and it's something you sort yourself, if she is insisting on it, then she's trying it on.

(she's not Italian is she? )

Original poster

Pattakiller · 04/12/2016 20:28

Lots of teenagers are not used to large cities and taking public transport.

OP posts:

BratFarrarsPony · 04/12/2016 20:31

"unhappy about travelling across London on her own"

for goodness sake tell her to grow a pair...
what does she have to do? travel from one mainline station to another on the tube? boo hoo.
If she is old enough to come to a different country to work, then she should be able to do this.
Besides she should have thought of this before she booked the flight.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 04/12/2016 20:31

Well she's got plenty of time to get used to it

You're weakening op!

VintagePerfumista · 04/12/2016 20:33

Oh give over OP!

She's moved abroad on her own!

TheInternetIsForPorn · 04/12/2016 20:34

At 18 I travelled to Canada alone and negotiated changing flights in Chicago O'Hare. If she's adult enough to work abroad she can get to her own flight!

LIZS · 04/12/2016 20:36

Offer to do the gatwick coach and book her into premier inn which has a shuttle to the terminal. She avoids crossing London or hanging around the terminal all night.

LIZS · 04/12/2016 20:38

Although may be cheaper to change to the evening flight!

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 04/12/2016 20:39

5 hours hanging around Stansted airport is perfectly do-able. It's not the Bronx.

Original poster

Pattakiller · 04/12/2016 20:40

Thanks LIZS I will suggest that to her.

OP posts:

Original poster

Pattakiller · 04/12/2016 20:42

All this is before we even get into the return flight! She hasn't booked it yet but apparently wants to come back on the 6th. Seems it hadn't occurred to her that we would all be back at work/school by then so wouldn't be available to pick her up...

OP posts:

Longdistance · 04/12/2016 20:44

Actually, I'm gonna go against the grain.

I'd give her a lift to the airport so she can go home for Xmas. If she was looking after my dc, I'd just go out of my way only so I can watch some planes as I'd treat her as a friend/family.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 04/12/2016 20:44

I've just checked the flights and there is a much more sensible evening one but it is 3 times the price. If she had asked we would have said get that, or even better the one the evening before and we could have dropped her at Gatwick in time to get the airport bus to Stansted.

You have answered your own question. It would have cost her 3 times as much.

Original poster

Pattakiller · 04/12/2016 20:47

Longdistance - I definitely wouldn't consider driving a friend/family member to Stansted

OP posts:

EvenTheWind · 04/12/2016 20:49

Do not make this your problem, OP.

She can choose between rebooking the expensive flight and you dropping her off, crossing London on her own, waiting in the airport, finding a cheap place to crash (youth hostel?). She doesn't get to choose you dropping her at the airport at 4am!

shinynewusername · 04/12/2016 20:53

I honestly would not leave children in the care of someone who lacked the gumption to "cross London" (i.e. get off a train and onto the Tube). She sounds like an idiot - and an inconsiderate one at that.

LynetteScavo · 04/12/2016 20:55

If she's not used to public transport it's about time she got used to it.

You didn't sit her down and help her book the flight, she booked a filly flight and now she needs to learn the consequence.

I'd drop her at the airport hotel the night before.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 04/12/2016 20:57

She just sounds young and thoughtless to me. Fairly typical for most teenage girls ime.

BratFarrarsPony · 04/12/2016 20:57

I agree with shinynewusername...
she does sound really wet. What if there was an emergency while she was looking after your kids? would she curl up and die?

Sometimespostingalwayslurking · 04/12/2016 20:58

Ha ha this reminds me of our au pair planning to book a cheap 7 am flight from Stansted and expecting there would be trains at 4 in the morning! At least he never expected me to take him there.
OP I agree with everyone on the thread. I remember doing similar trips in other countries at 18 and never expected my parents/ host families to give me lifts. National express is perfectly fine, as are a few hours hanging around at the airport.

ImNotReallyReal · 04/12/2016 21:01

So drop her off for a bus and get her to book into a premier inn at the airport. When I was 18 (assuming she is that age) I was able to get myself from one end of the country to the other on National Express and get a flight and had also been inter railing and worked on a Kibbutz.

If she wants to live as an au pair then she needs to have some independence. You are her host, you act as a host mother, but not her nanny. If she is old enough to book herself a flight she's old enough to get to the airport.

drspouse · 04/12/2016 21:02

Lots of teenagers are not used to large cities and taking public transport.

Well, it's a life skill, she may find it's preferable to paying extra or waiting around for a whole day.
I was driven to and from school every day as a teen but when I went to university I worked out how to get a train on my own, and when I had a boyfriend in London I magically found I could cope with the Tube on my own.
I assume she's 18/19 not 13.

ZoFloMoFo · 04/12/2016 21:02

I'm chuckling at the thought that this delicate little flower can move to another country to work, but can't travel across London alone.

Drop her at the airport the day before, when it's convenient for you.

She can then choose to hang around the airport for 14 hours, or book a Travelodge.

You're fretting about this whilst she seemingly hasn't given it another thought

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