Gas and Air: come share your funny stories here

[foxytocin]

I have none myself but I need a laugh and you'll relieve some anxieties from the first timers lurking.

Gas and Air would be the only reason I would have another baby, I had a fantastic "trip" with dd. Dp says I drifted off for a few moments then came round saying ever decreasing circles, that's the secret to life. Then after dd had come out I was convinced I'd heard the midwife say something about the other one (I wasn't expecting twins) so I was screaming what could it be get it out of me etc!

Great stuff!

I got smashed on it when having Dd and decided that the baby would not come out unless I had a mars bar (I dont particuarly like them anyway and I felt a bit sick!) This ment Dh leaving the hospital and driving 20mins to a petrol station to get it for me.

Whilst he was gone I told the M/w that he'd 'left me' but I didnt care!

When He did get back I told him to shove the mars bar and was laughing my head off because the mouth peice for the gas and air looked like a duck!!

Twas good fun!

it's great that you can go on a trip and come back with a baby, innit.

Brilliant stuff!

When in labour with dd1 I hallucinated about 'magic snails' climbing up the hospital curtains.

After we'd completed our family I thought I'd never have gas and air again, but then last year I sprained my ankle (suspected fracture) and the paramedic gave me gas and air. He then hooked me up to a pulse and blood pressure meter, and the machine announced in a robotic voice "No pulse detected. Administer CPR!" That set me off in complete giggles, for some time...

when i had ds i used the gas and air for about 3 hours solid.

when the guy came in to do my drip, i refused to let him do it because he looked like beaker off the muppets. he wasn't impressed. i had to apologise the next day.

my cousin thought she was off to catch a train when she had it.

very funny when i look back, dont think ex-p or my mum would agree though.

Fabulou s stuff.

With DD1 I saw cats in the corridor. I also kept saying to DM "Whatevere the question, love is the answer"
With DD2 I kept thinking everyone looked like a hamster I had when I was 12
With DD3 my old boss came and leaned in the doorway watching me whilst wearing a fedora.

I would pay good money for a cheeky canister or 3.

can you imagine the stories midwives etc. must have at the things women say when they are under the influence.

I had G&A when with DS1. I talked non stop about Winnie the Pooh for a good hour apparently. Even marvelled at how most characters had 6 letters in their names. I sounded like Marge Simpson for days afterwards.

I had an ELCS with DS3 which had a drain, and was excrutiting getting it removed so I was allowed G&A. The MW had to care for DS3 for a few hours after that as I was as high as a kite.

The midwife had to take the gas and air off me when it came to pushing as I was concentrating on inhaling as much as I could and not concentrating on pushing.

I was lying on the bed and noticed what I knew was a microphone hanging down. (it was a small light but hey)

I wittered on for a while about how witty I was and I knew that my conversations were being relayed via this microphone to the rest of the hospital.

Then I puked and they took the gas and air away.

With dd2 I would not let it go. I howled and cried and when asked what was wrong explained that I was worried it would run out. The mw (who I was almost in love with, she was so so kind and patient) got down to eye level with me. She said very slowly and clearly that it was a new hospital and it could not run out as it was piped in and not in cannisters. She never took it off me. During delivery I was so drunk she and dh had to manhandle me on to the bed as I could barely stand.

Oh I also puked again after demanding that dh feed me Bourneville chocolate.

During labour it just spaced me out but with my first when they were "putting me back together again" i was given free rein on it and proceeded to ramble to the team of stitching mws everything i had learned on my soft furnishings course and requested some fancy stiching in my fanjo. DH said it was most embarrasing.

Thistle I probably should have been made to give it up during delivery. However I think I threatened to hit or otherwise cause difficulties to dh and the midwife so they decided it better to let me have it.

I had a long labour with dd, and went a bit doolally on gas and air, I kept saying to dh, I feel like I'm in night club, I can here dance music, are we in Buster Browns (the night club we met in 17 years previously)apparently I said this every time i took a breath! So a lot in 13 hours.

Thought I would get the same high second time round, but was only in for 2 hours! Shame

i thought the mouthpeice looked like a duck's beak and kept whispering 'quack!'

think i need to look into other pain relief options this time.

I love these stories onepieceoflollipop, I thought I was hilarious as well but I think I was just really annoying.

I didn't say anything during the labour but afterwards when the registrar was stitching me up I told her to make sure she did it right so I could have another one. Then she asked the midwife "where do you think this bit goes?' which should have made me but instead I just pointed at DH and said "ask him, he's seen it" I think my mum may have been in the room at that point as well.

Then the registrar took so long stitching me up I asked her if she was writing her name I think they were glad to see the back of me!

these stories have made me laugh a lot!

When I was having ds1 they put me on gas and air. I was really quite out of it but kept thinking I needed to wee, so I repeatedly went to the bathroom which was across the corridor from my birthing room, only to find that due to labour pains, i could not sit down.
Anyway, I remeber coming out of the bathroom and asking a midwife if they had one of those things to put on the toilet to make it higher (YKWIM) and she really rolled her eyes and said "No, we do not. You can stop asking now"
According to dp, I'd been out there every few minutes for half an hour going through the exact same system of going to the bathroom and asking for a seat extender thingy

Onepiece I think they took the gas and air off me because the midwife wanted to examine me and I wouldn't open my legs! She obviously knew I needed to push, (I was in denial), and she had to hold my face in both her hands and tell me v e r y s l o w l y that if this baby was going to come out I had to open my legs, let her check I was fully dilated and push! The shameful thing is that it wasn't my first baby so I'd been through it all before. Obviously I was demanding a cesarean at this point and wondering why my DH wouldn't just tell them this.

With DD I had gas and air and pethidine that was great, but apparently I was talking about the midwives not knowing the good deals in Ikea and chasing cats up trees without success!

Hilarious stories - am really looking forward to my VBAC now!!

Whilst high as a kite on gas and air and diamorphine with DS, apparently (I have no recollection!) I kept asking DH to go and get me Michael Bolton because I needed him and loved him?! EEugh, to this day I have no idea why!

i was huffing away on the gas and air like mad and told the doula and dp that i felt like dennis hopper
i could FEEL their eyes meeting over my head like this -->

It made me throw up and did nothing for the pain.

ROFL at these stories

When I was in labour with DS the radio was on in the room and I was high as a kite on gas and air. I loved the gas and air, was brill.

Anyway, an advert came on the radio for DFS sofas and I leaned over to my DH and told him in no uncertain terms that he must go out and help the DFS man in the advert get a good deal on a new sofa. I was very concerned about this man needing a good bargain on his sofa and I was convinced DH was the man to help him....

I have no memory of staying this, but DH still teases me about it now.

PMSL you have really made my day guys