Gas and Air: come share your funny stories here

[foxytocin]

I have none myself but I need a laugh and you'll relieve some anxieties from the first timers lurking.

I remember telling DH I felt like I was in a washing machine. He insists that I said 'I am a washing machine'
I said it because of the spinny feeling and the sound of the air conditioning blasting in my ears (even though it was probably silent).

Also I remember talking about Cyndi Lauper's wedding dress... can't remember why. I do remember watching her on Top of The Pops 2 the day before, not sure she was in a wedding dress though.

I was on all fours on the bed with the G&A balanced on a pillow shouting 'Look! Its hands free!'
When DH tried to move it so I could turn around I screeched at him and shouted 'go and get your own you thief!'

Best part of an awful labour!

Love these stories, hope more will be added

in my first labour they took it off me before i started pushing.
For my second i was expecting that so shrieked NOOOO and swapped hands & tried to hide it down the side of the bed so she couldn't get to it.

I don't actually think it was doing much but the focus on using it was helping me concentrate and get through the contractions

lol at these, especially Michael Bolton

I didn't get the trippy effects though, or say anything funny, i don't think...think mine wasn't hooked up.

TBH I really think the placebo effect will play a huge part in it for most women, i remember both times the MW telling me how to use it (big breath, but breathe normally) i bet just the switch in focus and concentration on breathing has most of the effect.

Only of interest to anyone who has watched Stargate, but I apparently took the mouthpiece out after a contraction and asked my husband 'do I sound like a Goa'uld' as I was convinced that the G and A made me sound like the deep voiced alien parasites in the series!

I also had to stop a consultant talking to me as he had just emerged from between my thighs with a head torch on (I was heamorahaging quite badly at the time) as everything he said was making me laugh even though they were considering an emergency section.

PMSL at these tales

Laboured in water and had my show very late - was naming the clots as midwife was scooping them out and calling them 'my precious first born' .

Also telling DH I didn't understand why contractions hurt so much as they actually happened outside of you body

Gas and air not that good when in labour - couldn't use it properly as
contractions "wrong way round" i.e. starting full on then tailing off. Whenever the pain got REALLY bad I would scream out "absolutely no pethidine or epiduaral - even if I ask"! I also didn't care that that the pool was full of floating poo lumps

Was great during the stitching though. Put all my mumsnetting to good use.

I kept asking the midwife lots of details. What was she doing? Was she sufficiently qualified? Was she really properly qualified? What diameter of catheter tube was it? Wat grade was the tear? Was I going to end up faecally incontinent? And could they PLEASE TALK TO ME AND STOP TALKING ACROSS ME!

The best/worst thing about gas and air I found was that you are still compos
mentis, but you get really bad verbal diarrhea - you know you are talking shit but you just don't care enough to stop.

Compis mentis enough to refuse theatre and a spinal block for stitching anyway

Loved g&a, would indulge recreationally given half a chance!

Was dancing round my living room to Neil Yound whilst on gas and air. Was a blast. This was prior to ambulance transfer with no gas & air which was less fun but at least part of my labour was enjoyable!

it's great stuff - I went through two cannisters of it when in labour with DS! I just couldn't get enough of it.

I definately went a bit laa laa when using it, can't remember exactly what I was rambling on about but it was probably utter nonsense.

Hoping to use it again for baby no2 due next month!

had it during my babys birth loved it....so much so that i'd have another just for it lol

i remember feeling very worried that i had missed emmerdale dont even watch it?

also thought the curtains had lovely pictures of sheep on them and weren't they beutiful?!!!. when the effect had wore off it was actully big rhodedendrons (sp?) and the most horrid curtains ever

keep them coming. I am trying to put together a stupid lesson plan for observation tomorrow.

this is good diversion procrastination.

Not really funny, just weird...

With first labout was convinced that husband was flirting with midwife (am I a psycho?)

With second labour, baby was born really quickly, didn't get G&A till late on as labour ward had to 'find' gas and air and weren't really convinced I was in labour. Was in birthing pool and my daughters head came out. Was so freaked out, I thought she was going to drown, I tried to get out of the water and then almost sat on her head. Husband and midwife had to physically restrain me.

Oh just remembered, they took the G&A off me when pushing but gave me it back when being stitched, I knew it would be my last go on it so I gave it some massive breaths.
Asked the doctor 'what the hell are you doing? Bloody cross stitch!? Get a god damn move on!'

I loved it! But I was sick after, so be carefull how much you using it!!

I kept saying I sound like a man and then preceded to pretend I was being interviewed in a documentary about sex changes saying 'well i realised I was a man in a woman's body ......'

Kept asking the midwife 'why would anyone do this without drugs? People do you know, why would they do that?' Didn't find G+A too trippy, pethidine was fantastic.

I had that same thing as a few others where my voice sounded incredibly low to me. I kept saying over and over 'I sound like a transexual!' DH asked if he should call me 'Dave' and I told him (quite seriously) that 'No, you should call me Davina'.

Also my waters exploded all over a poor registrar and a midwife, so whilst high on the G&A I repeatedly offered them both the paper knickers from my hospital bag, 'No really, have some, I've got loads!'

When I tried it with ds (first baby) it made me feel sick. Very, very sick. If you have ever smoked a joint, but smoked too much of that joint and 'pulled a whitey', that is exactly what it felt like.
Labour with dd was too quick for g&a, but I had it when I was having my tear repaired. The doctor was Indian, and I couldn't understand what he was saying, so I kept looking at the midwife to translate for me he looked asthough he was getting v.pissed off. While he was stitching me up, he would occasionally say "it might hurt now" so I'd take a big gulp of g&a and tell him it was ok, I wouldn't shout at him. I said this about 10 times. I also kept telling dp how wonderful it was, around every 2 minuted.
I'm with everybody who's said they'd pay good money for a couple of cannisters, brilliant stuff.

It was 10:40pm on the 09/09/08. The mw said encouragingly, 'baby will be here before midnight', what a great date, 9th of the 9th and I sucked the gas and air and said:

Noooo, It would be better if it came on the 10/09/08.

It/she came at 10:50pm.

LOVE G&A!!! With DD1 I tried to persuade DP to have a go after DD was born and MWs had left the room - he wouldn't - spoilsport!
#During both my labours I thought I was the funniest/wittiest person on earth.

With DD2 initially I was very calm and relaxed and mw commented that baby was going to be breathed out. When it came to the final pushing stage I shouted "STOP!!! Tell me more about this breathing out thing" She replied we didn't have time for that now and I needed to push, I told her that we had plenty of time as DD2 wasn't due for another fortnight. She then asked if I wanted her to cut me ? I told her no, and pushed and DD was born. After I delivered the placenta (still on G&A) I insisted on having a good look at it......

i was convinced that i had hit a midwife-i hadn't and have no idea why as she wasnt even my midwife and just happened to walk past me.I told everybody that i had hit her,including any member of staff who came in

me "i hit that midwife
staff "
my midwife "she didnt'
me "i did"
my midwife "you didnt, its the gas and air"
staff "

when dp arrived
me "i hit that midwife
dp 'what the fuck did you do that for "
midwife "she didnt,dont worry and dont listen to her"
dp "ok
me "i hit that midwife

and so on, and so on.....

omg lovebugs. that is so funny.

I can almost imagine it going on and on and the midwife's face for the nth time you said it.

Oh! Just remembered!

This happened when I was turning around, when I shouted at DH for moving the G&A.
Once I'd turned around, was laid on my back, the midwife came to my side to check me, I looked at her and said 'Oh Jesus, I'd forgotten what you looked like'

Also, my mum travelled 300miles to us when I was in labour, stopped at mine to make DH some sandwiches and then came to the hospital to drop them off for him.
She asked the midwife to give them to him but the midwife said 'Oh just go in, its fine'
Mum walked in and apparently (I don't remember it so it never happened!) I looked at her and said 'Oh you just just couldn't keep away could you!?'

Lovebugs, thats brilliant!

Wonder if the midwives actually pay any attention or if it all goes in one ear and out the other?
I was awful, I'm never rude to anyone, wonder if she took it personally?

I'm sure it was just hilarious for my midwife to have to explain to everyone who happened to catch my eye that no she didn't hit anyone,again and again!I, however wasn't the slightest bit concerned about assaulting the midwife and was very happy to tell people.

I was readmitted to hospital after i was discharged and was back on gas and air for my then undiagnosed pain.After my dp tried to take it off me as he thought i had had enough-i made such a scene that a doctor stormed into the cubicle and came nose to nose with me and growled "your'e not in labour now lady,don't talk to him like that"
my growl back to her "just give it back now"

i'm honestly usually very placid