What should I expect during childbirth?

[Mumtobe2000]

31 weeks pregnant! Thing to expect during childbirth ?

I found with my first that I went in with the mindset 'what will be will be'- I didn't realise it would help me if I knew what pain relief was on offer and could ask for what I wanted. So I would advise that.
If they break your waters, have gas and air
If they put you on the hormone drip, get an epidural
If an induction isn't going well, sack it off and get a c section
Take a black bin bag for your clothes you birth / labour in

Have extra stuff in the car ready in case you're in longer.
Did you know they measured your urine afterwards so you wee into a cardboard container and have to leave it in the toilet for them to find- that was news to me..
Trying to think whatever else I didn't realise at the time...pack snacks / sweets. Pack a bottle with a straw in case you can't lift it up. It's hot in there.

Have the epidural if you don’t like pain (the fact some women are convinced not to have it is part of some mysogynistic conspiracy imo). I agree that you should pack snacks. Otherwise remember birth is only a teeny part of parenthood and will be over quickly.

Don’t be afraid of writing a birth plan. I found it incredibly helpful to have a think about the things I wanted / hoped for during birth and it helped my DH advocate for me when the time came. Being in water meant a lot to me, and on arrival the midwives made it possible for me to have the only room with a small birth pool. I doubt I could have advocated for this wish whilst in active labour and having it written down really helped them to understand the things that meant something to me. It also meant when something needed to happen that I’d noted as wanting to avoid in my birth plan, the midwives and doctor were very kind and explained why it needed doing and acknowledging that it was something I’d mentioned in the plan.

I think plans are incredibly helpful for both when things go to plan, but also when they don’t as well. You deserve to be an active participant in your birth, and having a plan that you can share with Midwife on arrival really does help them to understand your wishes a lot more clearly than trying to explain them in the moment.

This.

Yep, it might not work out as you want, but you can still highlight what you do want and ime staff were very respectful of that.

I would highly recommend NCT classes (some will disagree, fair enough) but I made lifelong (and lifeline!) friends there.

But more importantly than that I’d recommend hypnobirthing, it allowed me to go from being terrified about birth to being really calm during all 4 of my births which luckily went smoothly. Wishing you a smooth birth too! ♥️

Speaking as someone who has done it 3 times i think it's fair to say that it's a very difficult question to answer as for some it feels like you are literally about to die and for others -my friend- who described her experience as strong period pains.
All 3 of my births were different so absolutely expect the unexpected.
As a pp said don't waste your time with a birth plan,go with an open mind, all the lavender oil ,pan pipe music and pillows from home don't make a scrap of difference when you're in the thick of it.
Don't listen to others 'horror stories' they don't help ! you may find it relatively easy and not too painful at all.
Stay on your feet for as long as you can , sway your body and walk around, i did this with my 3rd labour and it was easier and i coped well , i didn't feel out of control like i did at times on my back with previous 2.
Find out as much as you can about pain relief , i had no choice with number one as he was back to back but 2 and 3 weren't so i went for it without pain relief as i thought it may slow me down , that was my choice but there is no shame in having whatever they offer but be aware there is nothing that removes pain completely , even an epidural.
Imagine each contraction as a step nearer ,your body knows what to do and before you know it its over and it's so bloody wonderful , amazing and awesome that you think you wouldn't mind doing it again the next day 😂

I really recommend the book Birth Skills by Juju Sundin, will give you many techniques and mindsets, and helped me to feel like I always had more to help.

If you have a tear you probably won’t feel it at the time which is good, then expect that they will stitch you with your legs in stirrups while you’re holding your baby. Do what you can to focus on your baby and it’ll be fine

Birth plan will probably go out the window

You may feel a little scared and anxious so dont be afraid to ask as many questions as possible to get reassurance

Was starving after giving birth, had 2 rounds of toast and jam. Pack plenry of snacks

If breastfeeding, takes time for your milk to properly come through sometimes days

Dont have a shower on your own first time. My DH came in with me I was fine to begin with then went a bit light headed

Midwifes may change over mid shift

My placenta didnt come away so was sent to theatre. Had to have a spinal block and cafeter...hated both!!!! As had no meds during birth just gas and air

Its the most wonderful, amazing experience.

The positive birth book is a good read.

try not to be set on why to expect. Be open o suggestions

What you can expect is that one way or another your baby is coming out. Try to be as relaxed as possible and not to be scared of the process. Good luck

Plan for the worst and hope for the best. Don't have a strict birth plan as things can change. Prepare yourself and whoever is with you to advocate for you. That's before, during and after. Discuss all possible scenarios with them and agree what you want doing. Don't trust that the staff will remember things or prioritise you. Have all your stuff and the babies stuff ready. Have a spare bag of other stuff at home that can be brought if you are kept in for a while. Take a charger, a spare charger, headphones, a portable battery and lots of snacks. Take way more pads then you think you'll need as if you run out they huff as they give you one at a time, even if you have no one with you at that moment and can't physically walk to get any. Repeatedly ask for pain medication, even if you don't need it right that second as it is so difficult to get it when you do in an hours time. If they say you don't need it or try starting with paracetamol then don't accept that (if it is bothering you) and advocate for yourself. We have the means and the knowledge, there is no reason to be in prolonged pain after childbirth.

Pain in your back that seems nothing like you think is contractions can be contractions. They also can't always be felt by midwives. Look up what a show is. And back or stomach pain and pooing can be signs that you body is getting ready to go.

I hope it all goes well for you.

Every single birth for every mother is different.
Don't read or listen to horror stories, they are unhelpful.
I worried exactly like you are. Enormous anxiety over it.
Eldest daughter is now 36. I had several more after her. None of the horror stories other people delighted in relaying happened to me.
Your birth and baby will be as individual as you are.
Try to relax x

Write on your plan if you really don't want a CS, so they can do all they can to help you avoid one. Moving as much as you can helps a lot of people, and knowing the choices for pain relief, even if you don't want it, puts you in control. Decide who you want with you and give people who want to help jobs so you get support, or if you don't have anyone to do this, batch cook food/make sure everything is set up as you want it before labour starts.

Agree. Given that you have to give your consent and permission for everything that happens in birth, it’s definitely worth having a plan and some knowledge about what you’re agreeing to happen or have done.

I would make sure you have a good birth partner that will speak up for you.

I don’t think there is much else you can do. So much depends on how your body copes and the size and position of your baby.

Don't listen to any horror stories!

Don’t be embarrassed to have drugs if you need them. If you feel you need an epidural ask for one. They are amazing!

Absolutely agree. I had two very difficult births with an average one in between. And even though they were definitely not “going to plan” it helped having the birth plan. it’s not a plan really - it just forces you to think about your preferences. And it gave me some control at a time when I was incapacitated really. Tell your partner he’s responsible now for that plan.

I think it depends on your personality too. I would never walk into any situation thinking what will be will be.

my overall advice is expect the unexpected (and plan for that too! If you are so inclined) And keep your head in it when the baby is actually born and no matter how it is born try and focus on that moment because it really very special.

Batch cook. If you want to breastfeed learn everything you need to know in advance - you won’t be able for the learning at the time.

The only thing you can know is that everything becomes out of your control. Hopefully you’ll be lucky and it’ll go well. I can’t stress enough to trust your instincts irrespective of what the midwives say. If something feels wrong, advocate for yourself as strongly as possible and don’t blindly trust them.

Everything can be unpredictable but in labour movement and breathing can get you comfy at points where being on your back and holding your breath would cause panic. The contractions aren’t scary - they feel like they should but they are mighty. After each the pause in between is readying you for the next wave that gets you nearer to meeting your baby. When it’s unmanageable the urge to push is often about to appear - that and your baby. And if your unmanageable happens earlier then there are the drugs! And the anaesthesiologist. Good luck OP

The only thing you should expect is pain.
It’s going to hurt. Whichever way baby comes out, you’re going to be in pain. Whether that’s during labour or from recovery.
The uncertainties are how much pain, for how long etc.
I was induced with my first two, neither of them went to plan.
Try not to go in absolutely refusing medication or an epidural or intervention. It is what it is, they’ll get baby out safely however they need to in the circumstances you’ll be in and that’s all you’ll care about.
Good luck, I’m having my third and last in 4 weeks, motherhood is a wild ride x

I loved my births, which went exactly as I'd hoped.

For my first, I went out for a lovely meal with my husband, had an early night and then got up at a civilised time and pain free got to hospital about 8am, feeling excited but nervous. I had a chat with the nurse and Dr whilst they made my husband a cuppa, all still pain free for me. I then walked to the operating theatre, had the spinal, which was fine, and had my baby by c section to the playlist I'd planned.

Cuddles immediately and breastfeeding in recovery. Then I had a surprisingly nice roast beef dinner whilst the nurses brought me drinks etc. I stayed for 2 nights because they offered and it was quite nice in hospital, and then came home and got into the swing of motherhood. Recovery was minimal and I pottering round the shops and going out for cake the day after we got home. Back to normal within a week. No pain.

I think the only way to have a birth as planned is a planned section. Though even with them, there are no guarantees.

Alot of sleepless nights for a few months.

Months?

Such optimism.
Years. Many years. But still so worth it.

In between keeping moving try and rest and sleep as much as you can in the lead up to your due date (easier when it’s your first!!), whatever way baby comes it’s going to be tough on your body so the more rested you are the better.
Also trust your body, instinct often takes over and gets you in the position you need. With DC2 I gave birth stood up with one leg up on the bed 🤷🏻‍♀️

I have had 5. My advice would be:
It is probably worth going to an ante-natal class if you can bear it (at least the one where they show you around). I didn't find them that helpful, but it sort of gets you familiar with it. My OH refused to go. I did not make lifelong friends, but I have heard lovely stories where others did.
Have someone with you at the birth that can advocate on your behalf.
If they offer you an epidural, take it. (3 with, 2 without) Looking back, I don't know why I didn't insist on it. You have to stay still while they are doing it.
Take snacks and drinks and ear plugs or headphones, others have said this and I agree, you can be in for a long time, and familiar snacks can be nice.
Stay on your feet as long as you can (bouncy balls etc) gravity helps
Stay flexible, none of my 5 births were the same, other than that they were not sections.
Expect it to hurt. At least until you have the epidural
Wishing you the best, and don't be worried xx