What should I expect during childbirth?

[Mumtobe2000]

31 weeks pregnant! Thing to expect during childbirth ?

Well that list could go on for ages! Is there something you're particularly concerned about? Or an area you're particularly interested in?

Unless you have a planned section, then I’d say expect the unexpected! You can have the most detailed ‘birth plan’ and have thought about it for hours and hours and hours, but it won’t go exactly to plan or how you expected. But I think there’s still value in planning and educating yourself so at least when things are happening you know what’s going on.

first child is due oct, i have heard all sorts of horror stories recently, i think im more worried about pain and how long ill be in labour for, is there any way to make it go smoothly ? lol sounds silly but im open to all ideas on how to make it go quickly and as pain free as possible. The idea of a c section really churns my stomach , is there anything i can do to avoid this or is it purely what happens happens ?

Have you/can you do any ante natal classes? You will find those really helpful.

Have you only researched online, or have you read information from a reliable source - like the NHS? Do they still provide booklets - it's 25 years since my first!

I have looked into something like the classes however i feel like it just wouldn't be for me, i have done endless amounts of research on what can happen good and bad but it doesn't seem to make my mind settle, i'm trying to come to terms with what will be will be!

ante-natal classes are not just about the information, they are also so you can meet other people at the same stage of pregnancy as you, and you can share stories and support each other. They are useful, even if you feel you've done a lot of research.

As for what you can expect, the answer is - no one can tell. your body is built to give birth but sometimes extra help is needed so you just need to take things as they come.

Have you spoken to your midwife about this?

I really think ante natal classes would be useful. Do you know any other pregnant ladies? They usually group classes so that everyone is around the same stage which is useful after birth as you have a set of readymade companions who can help support, exchange ideas etc

Do they still tour tours of the maternity suite at the hospital? That was really helpful too - just to see the facilities etc.

My birth plan was show up at hospital, stay as calm as you possibly can and do as you're told. It worked well for me, all 4 times!

Obviously I was lucky, nothing complicated or unusual happened with me and I do understand that sadly this is not always the case. However, I think a lot of the time it does go fairly smoothly but the horrible stories are more memorable.

Also, it did hurt like hell, but trying to stay calm and not get panicked by the pain really, really helps. I know that's easier said than done though. The first time I give birth, the midwife told me to welcome each contraction and think about each one bringing me closer to my baby. I liked that, it helped me.

Expect ambivalence from your midwife and to be left alone for much of your labour.
To you, it is one of the most important days of your life, to them, it is just a job, so don't expect them to care like you care.

Expect the post natal ward to be noisy, with heaps of visitors trooping through. The 2 visitors per bedside isn't worth the signs it is written on.
Hopefully your stay there will be brief, you can head home and bask in new born love 💕

i'm hoping luck will be on my side! i will def remember this for then, fingers crossed its similar to your experience, thankyou!

My birth plan went out of the window! Plan was to give birth in local lovely midwife led unit, in birth pool with my midwife attending who I had seen in all my appointments. When I gave birth my midwife was on holiday, the midwife unit was shut at night due to staffing issues and I went into labour at midnight. Had to go to hospital 30 miles away with contractions every minute, their birthing pool had a leak so wasn’t usable, had planned music to listen to on CD, hospital didn’t have a CD player and we left the bag in the car anyway in our rush to get to the delivery ward! Delivered DS 3 hours later but then had retained placenta (won’t go into gory details!) so would have had to have ended up in that hospital so lucky we were there. Then had issues with my heart, so again lucky I was there!

Importantly DS was healthy.

So make a birth plan but accept it might not all go to plan!

I got to 5cm not knowing I was in active labour, 8cm with gas & air then epidural for high blood pressure management. I can confirm it does not numb everywhere so still intense pain at the end but was short lived. Also had a second degree tear but it was fine overall and healed well. The whole experience was a blur to me / out of body experience but definitely I would overall say it was very positive. I went with no big expectations or specific birth plan. Took on the medical advice when necessary and it was overall very smooth. Obviously no labour is the same but sometimes you only hear the horror stories.

I would definitely attend some sort of ante natal class if you can . I am still friends with a woman I met there over 40 years ago. I found the breathing exercises really useful and still use them for any sort of pain . Keep as active as you can up to the birth as I think it makes it easier . My daughter spent a day walking round a theme park and DGS2 was born that evening in about 2 hours. When you get the urge to push nothing will stop you and you won’t care if the whole England rugby X1 are in the room! Good luck . I hope you have an easy birth x

Your question is exactly the sort of thing they deal with at ante natal classes, why did you think they ‘weren’t for you’?

You can hope that luck is on your side but birth is different for every woman. The best thing I ever did was have an amazing husband and insisted on an early epidural. Listen to the midwives and when you are home, make sure your partner pulls their weight and bonds with the baby on their own terms - it really is team work.

If you are worried about the pain, get an epidural. Why suffer needlessly?

I find it very painful I'm not going to lie. I under estimated the pain thinking I only needed paracetamol. The pain got worse and I asked for pethidine which was great but that wore off quickly. .. I wasn't prepared how quickly the effects from that drug can wear off or I would have requested epidural right then. So I decided to have the epidural and the anaesthetist was a while. If I had another baby I'd be getting my epidural asap! The epidural was the biggest relief for me and everything just flowed and baby came. So many women have a different experience to me and have found labour no worse than a period pain, so you just don't know until the day comes.

I had planned a home birth with a tens machine and then I had the opposite experience. I think that just goes to show you can't anticipate how it will go. I do wish someone would have told me how painful it could be so I was prepared and if someone had been honest with me, having the epidural earlier would have made the experience much easier.

But wow looking back it literally and weirdly was the best time of my life. It was absolutely blown away at the life that arrived and how beautiful newborns are. I was on a high for about a fortnight later. I even enjoyed my two night hospital stay (had to stay in as waters broke early for antibiotics for baby).... and despite planning a home birth, I loved being in hospital having that quiet time just me and my baby and seeing all the other little babies just born!

I did hypno birthing on a face to face course with a trained hypnotherapy person. It worked for me and I had zero painkillers because I just didn’t need them.

remaining active in labour helps gravity and your body do the work, one of the worst things to do is lay down (unless you’ve been in labour a long time and need rest)

Don’t bother with a birth plan. Not worth the paper it’s written on. If you want an epidural - ask for one straight away as it can take time to organise. The MWs are not your friend. Their main concern is getting that baby out alive. If you can, take someone in with you to advocate for you and fight your corner.

My Nan told me to leave your dignity on the steps of the hospital and pick it up on the way home! Also, take the pain relief if you need it! You get the same baby at the end of the day, so why suffer if you don’t have to?
all great advice! I’ve had 1 natural birth and 3 sections.

Also, when in labour, you actually breathe naturally with the contractions! It’s like your body is already programmed to know what it has to do to ease the pain. My mum advised to go with the pain and not fight it! Great help when I had my first 30+ years ago!

You really need to understand what is happening and the stages your body goes through before the birth. I think you are being a bit silly not to go to a class or two and get the information you need. I think winging it is a really bad plan and you are likely to feel overwhelmed.

Do you know anyone who has given birth in the last twenty years (preferably not just your mum) who could explain everything to you? Do you know what your mums births were like?

Honestly accept you have zero control.

I was very much want a water birth, terrified of needles and can't have pethidine/morphine etc so maybe some gas and air. Toyed with a home birth.

Found out I had group B strep. Now need IV antibiotics. Nothing I can do about it, it had probably been there years and at least knew about it so could treat. Needs to be hospital birth.

Hindwaters went at home and kick started labour. Meconium in waters. Baby immediately distressed as I was hypercontracting. No water, on a monitor whole time. Again, nothing I could do about the hyper contractions. Baby needed monitoring as heart rate kept dropping into 70s. I insisted on an epidural before they broke the rest of my waters because I was getting a 30 second break between 2.5 minute contractions. I went from 2cm to 9cm dilated in under an hour though!

Had baby been in right position it would have flown out. But baby had twisted themselves 90 degrees and got stuck with their neck tilted sideways ... they initially tried moving me with supports and balls and stuff to get baby to move but ended up with forceps trying to tilt babies head back centre and rotate but my cervix decided it was done and tried to reclose over forceps. Time for an EMCS. Baby was over 9lb and at 2yo has to wear a size 4-5 hat because their head is so big.

All sounds awful but you know what? Baby came out with an APGAR score of 9. Cried immediately, completely healthy. Great C-section recovery. I was really mobile, walked to my day 5 midwife appointment with baby in pram. EBF for 2 years. Milk came in really well. We were looked after really well on labour ward, they kept explaining everything that was going on. Healthy mum and healthy baby.

I had very rare labour complications but it was monitored and c section was way better than I thought it would be. So go in with a wish list but you may find you either feel very differently or its just out of your control. Remember the goal, you and baby healthy. Thats all that matters even if you get there in a different way to what you imagined.

So when you go into labour you’ll probably not know for a little while if it’s early labour or braxton hicks.

Make sure you have your bags packed and drinks etc ready to go and time your contractions. Once you are having 3 contractions every 10 minutes, and they last over a minute each, it’s time to call triage. If you have any other symptoms (like waters breaking with no contractions, bleeding etc) call triage for advice.

Once you get to the hospital they’ll assess you with a Doppler and then you’ll be offered a VE to check how dilated you are. That generally informs their immediate plan of care for you.

If you are 4cm or more you’ll go off to labour ward where you can have pretty much any pain relief you want. If you’re under that they might advise you to go home and wait, go for a walk round the hospital, offer you to go up to the ward for induction (I have been offered this twice when attending in labour, each time I have been very confused!) or if you refuse to go home they might find you somewhere to wait in triage.

It’s a given that it’s going to hurt but pain is temporary and it comes and goes. Have an idea of what your preferences are so that if you are asked in the moment, you are more informed (i.e would you be happy for them to attach a monitor to baby’s head etc).

It can be very intense and sometimes things happen that you don’t expect. Try to stay flexible and put your trust in the staff, that said, if you feel something about your body, let them know. They have monitors and VE’s etc but they cannot feel what you can feel.

Good luck x

PACK FOOD

I was ravenously hungry after birth each time. The third time I wasn't as prepared (precautionary hospital stay and long induction had eaten through my supplies).

If you get onto the postnatal ward in the early hours of the morning there is likely to be nothing around and the most they will give you is tea and toast.

Take pain relief you need but try to be mobile early on and as PP said, being calm and breathing deeply through the pain really helps. Don't be a martyr though, I had epidurals with all 3 (although DC1 was literally almost here by the time I got one). They really helped and my third birth was a very calm experience.

Nothing I read bore any resemblance to my first labour. I had no Braxton Hicks contractions, no 'show,' no waters breaking. I had a slight pain and called my midwife (who was due to visit much later in the day), saying I was having a niggling pain and she suggested I went to the hospital to get checked out. I saw her every day at home if I wasn't in hospital due to high blood pressure and I'd only been released the night before, one of several long stays.
My MIL (not my biggest fan) was at our house and said I was being pathetic and couldn't possibly be I labour.
DH and I arrived at hospital at 1.30pm, I even carried my own bag and felt a bit of a fraud walking in. I was 8cm dilated and DS was born less than two hours later. DC2&3 were born 45 minutes after the first twinge.
I was too late for any decent pain relief. When DIL had DGD I told her to book an epidural. She ended up with a booked cesarean, which I definitely think was the right decision for her.