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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

I don't want a VB or a CS. What are my options?

65 replies

StarshitTerrorise · 19/04/2012 09:04

no. 3 and due in a few weeks and DO NOT want to give birth again!

Grrrrrrrr!

OP posts:
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ValiumQueen · 19/04/2012 09:05

Contact SS Enterprise and see if Scotty can beam it out! My sympathies Grin

DameHermione · 19/04/2012 09:05

stay pregnant forever.

DogEared · 19/04/2012 09:07

Ask the stork if he can do summat about it...

IslaValargeone · 19/04/2012 09:08

:o valium

hathorkicksass · 19/04/2012 09:08

Cross your legs and hope for the best?

BretstheBoomKing · 19/04/2012 09:56

Expectorant cough syrup? :o

StealthPolarBear · 19/04/2012 09:59

Some sort of time travel?

nickseasterchick · 19/04/2012 10:02

Ermmmm Grin 'bump'ing til someone more knowlwdgeable comes along .........

HeidiHole · 19/04/2012 10:07

Could you cough a lot and try and get it up the top and out your mouth?

TheOneWithTheHair · 19/04/2012 10:09

Marking my place on this one. I can't wait to read what are surely going to be genius replies! Grin

Ushy · 19/04/2012 10:09

You've done it twice, couldn't you ask DH to do this one!

ValiumQueen · 19/04/2012 10:11

ushy excellent idea!

IAmBooyhoo · 19/04/2012 10:11

you mean they dont come out of your belly button? Confused

duchesse · 19/04/2012 10:13

I'd just get a stork in to deliver it. Traditional, classic, mess-free. Can't beat it.

duchesse · 19/04/2012 10:13

Or there's Cabbage.

DrSeuss · 19/04/2012 10:15

My colleague and her wife take turns.

duchesse · 19/04/2012 10:16

My DH's colleague and her wife don't take turns as DH colleague doesn't really fancy the whole pregnancy thing.

BigHairyFlowers · 19/04/2012 10:24

Go and sit over by the gooseberry bush and see what happens. Bound to be fine.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 19/04/2012 10:27

I think you are up shit street, without a paddle! Confused

farfallarocks · 19/04/2012 10:34

My midwife team have a baby delivered by a stork as their emblem on all correspondence which makes me chuckle every time I get a letter I must admit!

OP you will be fine.

TheCunningStunt · 19/04/2012 10:34

Teleportation is the way forward. In fact I saw an episode of startrek, once and a woman was having a vb[shoc] surely they would just "beam it up Scotty"

JugglingWithTangentialOranges · 19/04/2012 10:34

Just reminds me that whilst in labour with DC2 ( around transition time) I leant on DH and said "I don't want to do this" Maybe it just helps to say it !
Loving all the replies !

musicposy · 19/04/2012 10:38

Time travel is your answer. All you need is a TARDIS, set it for 4, maybe 5 weeks time. You will have your baby and will have missed the birth. :)

EdlessAllenPoe · 19/04/2012 10:39

i favour the 'getting DH to do it' thing, will your DH man up and take his turn ?

roundtable · 19/04/2012 10:40

I think you're screwed! Grin

Very jealous you get to sniff a new baby soon.

Oh, actually I have a midwife friend who reckons you can orgasm a baby out. So...good luck with that. Hmm