Elective caesarean

[MsMoo]

When I started to tell people that I was considering having an elective caesarean I was amazed to find that quite a lot of people thought I was being very selfish. It seems I might have been a bit naive to think people might accept it as my decision. Luckily there is this fab website www.csections.org which talks about all aspects of caesareans in a really informative and balanced way and I pointed people to that. I found that many of the accusations people were throwing at me were either ill informed or downright wrong. Am I on my own or are any of you finding the same thing when telling people?

Go for it girl - I'm going for it myself. Lots of justifiable reasons of my own both medical and personal as to why I will choose that option but I don't think that everyone has a right to know those reasons. I am on your side and hope it goes well for you. when are you due? I am due 9th May but will probably be the week before when the c-section is scheduled.

parp

mmm that's contributed a lot!

ingonre the parper.
There are lots of reasons why someone might choose to have a ceaseran.
I am hoping for VBAC, again for very personal reasons. However if there are any problems what so ever I will go down the elective ceaserean route as well.

I think people's concerns if you are opting for an elective for no substantiated medical reason (which includes psychological IMHO) is that it is a major operation, it will affect your first few weeks ability to care for your child and is not a step to take lightly because you consider it an easy option

there is a strong bias towards vaginal birth and there is a belief that there are physiological benefits to both mother and child by doing what 'nature intended'

I can't help being interested in your reasons for opting for a section (though tis none of my business)

Had an emergency section the first time and elective the second. To hell with what people think, if it's available use it!!!!

My personal opinion is that it is bizarre to go for an elective unless you have profound physical reasons to do so and that people do not realise what a major operation it is.

I t really didn't occut to me until quite recently that people would think they have a right to judge a mother on her birth plans, whatever they may be.
I don't think many women choose to have major surgery like this without seriously considering their options.

I am planning a vbac at the moment, but have accepted that this may change, and if it does I hope no-one expectes me to justify myself to them.

Good luck MsMoo and helsi, and may you both have healty , happy babies.

I guess I started to ask questions about the type of birth I wanted because 7 / 13 friends had emergency caesareans in the last 5 years. I thought those sounded like pretty crap odds and when I started to research it I found that recovery was likely to be far more difficult for emergency caesareans (given the amount of physical labour they may already have gone through before having the caesarean). Having noticeaable back problems I was concerned that I might not be able to manage hours and hours of labour. So all in all I decided to elect. I have now had my caesarean, it was a fantastic experience, my recovery has been 100% and I was able to lift, breastfeed and fully care for my baby within minutes of coming out of theatre. I have been very saddened by the negative reactions and the assumption that I must be so disapointed with my birth. Far from it, I hope to elect for a caesarean next time round too.

Definitely in some circles you have failed as a mother if you have had a c/section or have formula-fed. Only this morning I got the response - "why did you have a second child if you had to have it by c/section?".

Ladymuck -

What sort of a question is that? Does anyone know anyone who has "issues" around the way they were born?

No?

Nuff said.

i know that this is an emotive subject for many people, and as i am about to have my third c/s on 16th march (2nd elective) i have to say that imo an elective c/s is far preferable to an emergency one, especially in terms fo times for recovery and general feeling of well being after.

my first was an emergency after a failed induction, three days of absolute misery with vaginal examination after ve, pessaries, waters broken, drips running and only getting to 4 cms before ds1 decided he had had enough and so his heartbeat first dipped and then raced that they had to rush me off for an mergency section which took me more than 2 weeks to be able to mobilise fully!!! whereas ds2 was breech and so had an elective section, had him at 8.50 a.m up to ward by lunchtime and moving around by my bed demanding that my catheter be removed by mid afternon, a wholly more positive experience.

i have to say i had no problems with bonding, breastfeeding etc and both ds took to ti like a fish to water! lets hope all goes as well this time, my only concern is that my expectations may be too high!

i really wouldn't worry about other peoples opinions msmoo, as long as you are happy with your decision then that should be fine with you. i'm sure that a lot of people will argue the point about cost, time, bonding, etc etc, but maybe they have just been lucky enough to experience a positive natural birth and have no concept of what it feels like to truly be terrified of giving borth or have having had an uttterly crap experience (sorry if that is genarlising, not meant to offend anyone)

Ladymuck -

Good grief how on earth are you supposed to respond to people like that.

Ah yes, MsMoo. My favourite is when men at work say I've taken the easy route. Un huh... like they would know. I usually respond with something like, "Anyone who thinks a caearean is easy hasn't had one".

I've had one emergency and one elective. If I have another child, it will definitely be another section.

I think I just muttered something about how great it was to have someone on hand to look after ds1, and have everything planned for the birth.

I think it was just one of those instances where she blurted out what she was thinking when she realised that I'd had 2 c/sections. But it was interesting that she was thinking it! I think that she comes from the school where how you deliver your child is the ultimate test of whether you will be a good mother. She'll learn.

I suppose going madly off topic for a moment, that this is just one area where some people assume that there is a "right way" to do something parent related. I've been pondering education policy over the last year or two, and find it amazing when I read on here of how mums, whose opinion I respect on a very wide range of issues, have very different idea on education. It makes me realise that it would actually be very hard for us all to be happy with our nearest local school as we want different things from it. I suspect that as with health choices, education choices are going to be debated for quite a while yet.

And in a similar vein I think that the idea of choice will be more contentious when the different choices are publicly funded but have different costs. Not that that was going through my friend's head this morning.

Vickymum, The elective sounds like a much better experience. My ceaserean was for same reasons as yours. If i dont go into labour spontaneously this time, then I will have an elective. I dont if that 'is a profound medical reason' but who cares.

I've been surprised how supportive my friends have been of me. I had an emergency section with dd and will have an elective this april. My real friends who have had babies "naturally" all realise that my recovery has been much harder than theirs and have been supportive. (although making jealous comments that their bits aren't the same any more and mine are!) Its actually the midwives who have been less supportive. I understand that they prefer dealing with natural births, but until they find out there was a medical reason for the section (small pelvic outlet) then they think you're taking the easy route and are quite dismissive.

I am not pro-section, nor am I pro-natural birth. It is for the mother and the medical professionals only to decide. However, when my dd was born there was another woman in the hospital who had a section because she was scared of tearing down there with her first baby. Her dad was a GP so she got preferential treatment and had it all done electively. She didn't seem to be psychologically disturbed about childbirth to me so as far as I could tell, she should have been encouraged and empowered to try a natural labour first, for her own good as much as the public pocket.

Oh and thanks for the website link MsMoo, its a good one and I hadn't seen it before.

Nobody would DARE say stuff like that to me - seriously, I would not tolerate people being so rude. It's none of their business, and you shouldn't hesitate to tell them to get their sticky beaks out of your private life. Or, in less polite terms, to f* off!

"she should have been encouraged and empowered to try a natural labour first, for her own good" - Oh, ffs. She's a grown woman, not a bloody two year old who won't eat her peas.
Grow up. It's NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

well its not extraordinary to encourage someone to try something they are scared of.

MsMoo, like Vickyyumyum, my first was a emergency cs after failing to progress with induction and second was elective. Doctor tried to persuade me to go 'natural' as that was when a report that there are too many elective cs about had just been published and hence the NHS guidelines had changed a bit.

But when I asked him what my odds would be requiring another cs he said 2/3 ... erhem well that decided it. After first cs it took me ages to recover due to being totally exhausted with prior labouring and being stressed with dd's heart rate being a roller coaster.

The elective with ds was a 'dream'... felt great after in comparison to the first and no issues bonding what soever, actually he still is quite clingy at 17 months

Don't get me wrong, a cs is a major operation but if you are aware of all the pro's and con's then ignore everybody else and make your own decision.

Why? We are talking about adults here, not little children, unless you believe that motherhood does indeed infantalise women. Her body, her choice, nobody elses. Not right for you, maybe, but you aren't her or me.

not everyone makes informed choices aloha - sometimes women make them out of bad advice and/or fear.

This is a very interesting thread - I had an emergency section last March, I went through induced labour and was fully dilated, but after 2 hours of pushing my baby wasn't moving down into the birth canal so they rushed me into theatre. No way was this the "easy way out"!!

I am planning on having another baby next year, but am worried about being induced again (I was 2 weeks overdue last time) as I found the experience of labour, being tied to the monitors and not able to move around and deal with the pain in my own way, much more disturbing than the eventual c-section. I hope that if I don't go into spontaneous labour next time, I would be able to have an elective caesarean. However I have been told that the NHS have recently taken steps to cut down on the number of elective caesareans - does this mean I would need to go private? or do you think they would understand my problem with being induced and let me go the caesarean route??