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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Can partner stay with you at night (postnatal)??

76 replies

AllyZ · 13/06/2011 18:57

Im trying to understand exactly how it works and what will happen at the hospital. After your baby is born and you are transferred to a ward, what is it like? Can you see the other women or are there curtains between? How far to the bathrooms? Are there showers etc?

I understand the partner cant sleep over, but if the baby is born lets say 10 pm does that mean he needs to leave?? Or can he sit with us as long as he wants? all night?

Maybe stupid questions but trying to get the picture:)

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Cattleprod · 13/06/2011 19:00

I'm not sure. I think they can stay in the labour rooms but not the postnatal ward, so it depends when you are transferred. I'm sure they wouldn't chuck him out if you gave birth at 3am, for example.

Cyclebump · 13/06/2011 19:01

It really depends on the hospital. I gave birth at Ealing. No partners overnight, they left as soon as visiting hours were over. If women gave birth overnight their partners stayed until they were settled on the ward and then were made to leave as all that separates the beds in a curtain. A woman came to the bed next to mine at 3am (I'd given birth the morning before) and I was glad her husband left, I was still bleeding heavily with a screaming newborn to care for, not glamorous!

Two showers and one bath for the ward in separate rooms off the main sleeping bit.

virginiasmonalogue · 13/06/2011 19:03

2 of mine were born in the small hours and DH stayed for a short while, whilst I got showered and moved. I managed to blag a private room and begged that they let him stay but he had to go after an hour or so.

with my 3rd, he was born at around 3pm and he could stay until about 7/8. They weren't too strict. This time I was on a ward with other ladies. I dreaded it but it was really ok. There were curtains and a shower room etc. Very nice really.

It's a strange limbo time after your baby is born. Each time, I felt so exhausted but in a really nice way, kind of calm and sleepy. Hormones I guess. I was horrified that DH had to leave, but it was really ok. Special mummy baby time.

notsoqueenofclean · 13/06/2011 19:05

DH wasn't allowed to stay with me when I was in at all. He was there for as long as each labour took, but was only allowed an hour after we were transferred to the ward, on all three counts.

Postnatal wards are hot and noisy. IME most women tend to keep the curtains closed, although the MWs had other ideas!

Shower will depend on where you are put, they generally have them dotted around the place though so you shouldn't have too far to walk. Bring flip flops for the showers.

One thing I wish I knew before I went in, you will probably have to go and get your own meals from the serving trolley. Worth asking where it is likely to be and what time you can have something.

Are you able to go on a tour? I never went on one but had been in and out with the first one so was quite used to the place by the time I had her.

Original poster

AllyZ · 13/06/2011 19:09

Thanks! Im giving birth at Chelsea Westminster. Will try to go on a tour.

But if Im all alone with my baby how am I supposed to get up and pick food from the trolley, go to the bathroom or have a shower? Scares me that he will have to leave...

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Original poster

AllyZ · 13/06/2011 19:10

And if you've had an epidural, wont it be difficult to walk for a while? Or do i stay in labour ward until i've recovered a bit?

OP posts:

RitaMorgan · 13/06/2011 19:17

I had ds at 1am, was in a recovery room for a while and DP could stay, then we moved to the ward about 4am and DP had to leave. It was a ward with 3 other women, all the beds had the curtains drawn at night though.

I was in for 3 nights, DP had to leave at 9pm and couldn't come back til 9am. The nights were pretty horrible, couldn't sleep and just counted down the hours til DP could come back.

Isthreetoomany · 13/06/2011 19:19

At the hospital I was in, it was fine to leave the baby in their cot whilst you have a shower. The special cots all had security alarms so you can set the alarm and so no one can baby snatch (if that is what you were meaning).
I didn't go off and shower unless my DD was asleep, but she was asleep most of the time in those first few days.
I had an epidural, and yes I had to wait until it had worn off a bit to shower. But the first few hours went really quickly anyway - just sitting with the baby and seeing if they will take a first feed. The time whizzed by and I wasn't left feeling yucky - by the time I was ready to shower the epidural had worn off.

RitaMorgan · 13/06/2011 19:19

I'd had an epidural - they didn't move me to the ward til it had worn off but I had a catheter in for the first 24 hours anyway.

I had to go and get meals from the dining room after that, and babies weren't allowed in, so I had to wait for DP to arrive to look after the baby before I could go for breakfast.

Eglu · 13/06/2011 19:25

I didn't have an epidural, but needed a spinal block for stitches. I was taken to the postnatal ward at 4am. Dh had to leave then. I could not move still from the spinal and DS1 was put into bed with me as I couldn't have got to him in the cot. I was petrified he would fall out of bed as I was knackered.

pookamoo · 13/06/2011 19:26

Yes, nobody told me I would have to go and get my food, so I missed my first meal after DD was born, since I couldn't walk after the epidural and DH had gone home.

It really depends on the hospital. As soon as we moved to our local Maternity Unit, DH was allowed in from 9am til 10pm, which was brilliant.

Ishani · 13/06/2011 19:30

Take lOads of food with you leave baby clothes at home to make room If you have to that's my advice (mum of 4)

Georgimama · 13/06/2011 19:32

If you're struggling due to after effects of epidural/c section I would hope the MWs will lend some assistance with lifting and carrying. I had a 3/4 degree tear and some pretty full on stitches, it was made clear that I was expected to go and get my breakfast, go for shower etc and generally sort DS out myself.

Other women will not want your DP or anyone else's hanging around overnight, and you wouldn't want theirs there, trust me. Once you are out of recovery it is off to the ward and they have to leave (unless it is daytime and visiting hours).

Georgimama · 13/06/2011 19:33

at our local hospital the babies are in clear bassinets on what basically look like hostess trolleys - you wheel them about with you everywhere.

nannyl · 13/06/2011 19:52

i know my hospital doesnt allow dads from 8pm - 8am

not sure what happens if you give birth during the night though? would HATE OH to leave me us at all

for this very reason i am really hoping for and planning a home birth... where OH and me can sleep (in our own lovely bed bed) and i can be served food (not have to walk into the coridoor to collect my food from the trolley which doesn't even come into the room)

I have already been in with HG and knew for sure that i never wanted to go there ever again (if i can help it!)

pookamoo · 13/06/2011 19:52

Yes to the wheelie cot things, and if you are lucky enough to be in a side room to yourself, you won't need to worry about your DH disturbing anybody else.

They did have ante-natal and post-natal women on the same ward where DD was born, which was quite stressful as her crying the first night kept waking them all up.

My top tip is to take a pillow of your own from home. Choose a pillowcase that is easily identifiable as yours (i.e. not plain white) so you can keep track of where it goes and keep it with you on the ward and in the delivery room. The hospital pillow (there is usually only one) is skinny and wrapped in plastic, so it's horrible and scratchy. If you have your own lovely pillow from home, you will feel so much more comfortable. It also gives your DP something to carry and keep an eye on!

Original poster

AllyZ · 13/06/2011 19:54

Ok..hoping I give birth in the morning so i can have someone there all day:) Not worried about baby snatching, but the baby waking up crying/hungry while im away showering or getting food. But guess it will all be ok once im there...

OP posts:

Georgimama · 13/06/2011 19:55

I gave birth at 3.32am - I said goodnight to DH in delivery room and was taken to ward. He had to go home. By the time I had been stitched and had a shower etc and had some time together with DS and DH in delivery suite it was about 5.00am when I was taken to ward, but him coming too was a definite no no (not that I expected him to be allowed to).

Original poster

AllyZ · 13/06/2011 20:10

Nannyl: I would love a home birth or in a birth centre where its more relaxed but its my first and not sure how I will handle the pain so think i have to go with hospital in case its unbearable and I need the epidural.

Just checked and my hospital has visiting for partner 10am-8pm..

OP posts:

Isthreetoomany · 13/06/2011 20:42

At the hospital I was in the midwives were able to go to the babies if they did wake/get upset whilst their mum was showering - you just had to make sure you said to the reception desk that you were off for a shower (no issue with the food as it was delivered to the bedsides).
I don't remember any babies waking up and crying whilst their mums were showering - I think most people fed their baby just before they showered and the babies were mostly all so tiny they just slept.
As you say, it will all be fine when you get there.

nunnie · 13/06/2011 21:01

Sharoe Green Unit in Preston, postnatal wards are 4 bedded and have a bathroom in them which has a shower in it, or there is a bath in the main bathroom central to all wards.

DH could stay in delivery for as long as he wanted but once on ward if out of visiting hours he had to leave.

Seperated by curtains, which people closed for the night, but the midwives preferred them to be open in the morning, and during visiting (but most people seemed to close for visiting).

nunnie · 13/06/2011 21:05

My 1st, we had to go and get breakfast and brews but other meals were delivered to beds.
my 2nd EMCS couldn't get breakfast so was delivered to me on day one, my 1st shower the midwife had to stay on the ward (she changed bedding) to make sure I didn't collapse in the shower, so was there with the baby.

With 1st I showered at visiting when DH was there.

ShowOfHands · 13/06/2011 21:08

I had dd at 10pm ish via emcs. DH stayed for a cuddle and while they stitched me up and then was kicked out and told he could come back at 11am the following day for 2hrs.

I had no help and was expected to care for dd on my own. Thankfully she required cuddling and not a lot else.

I was discharged at 10am the following morning and had my bag packed and ready to leave at 11am.

DirtyMartini · 13/06/2011 21:12

Jeez, ShowOfHands, that's so damn harsh :(

nunnie · 13/06/2011 21:15

Blimey ShowOfHands no wonder you were packed ready to leave poor you and your DH.

Visiting for partner is 12-8 here, so Daddy can have upto 8 hours with new baby and mother, which I found nice and then mother and baby get evening, nights and mornings together.

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