My husband has been diagnosed with bowel cancer and I am struggling

[Flowberry]

Hi, yesterday my DH was told a mass had been found following a colonoscopy that was very certainly cancer. He is 43. He’s had stomach issues for years, but recently they ramped up, lots of bleeding and weight loss. He had several tests done initially and they were all clear, so we really had to push for further investigation. I’m not coping. We have two small children. I’m seeing my GP later today for help so I don’t fall apart.

people keep telling me that bowel cancer is very treatable, but I’m so sorry that the symptoms he’s had and the way the doctor told us that it’s at an advanced stage.

not sure what I’m looking for, a safe space to speak I suppose, and maybe stories from people who have been in a similar situation.

his grandfather died at around 50 from bowel cancer so am not feeling safe enough to try and feel positive.

Sorry just wanted to add, I did not find out that a history of stomach problems is a risk factor for bowel cancer, until my mother developed it. So don't assume he had bowel cancer back then.

Once again thank you so much everyone.
the main thing that worries me about the trip is that I don’t think we will be covered for DH’s cancer as he had gone to the doctors about his tummy/bowel issues prior to getting our insurance for the trip. But we thought we were looking at IBS or that sort of thing, and the doctor even said ‘I don’t think this is cancer but we’ll do a colonoscopy anyway.’
so I’m worried he either won’t be covered if something happens when we’re away, or if we don’t go and cancel.

I’m so sorry
A friend a similar age to your dh has recently got through stage 3 bowel cancer including having a big chunk of her bowel removed and lots of radio and chemo (none of which was as bad as feared). Anyway after an awful (because of the anxiety more than anything) 16 months or so she’s doing really well now and in remission, back at work and looking to the future

I hope your dh gets a treatment plan soon

You need to contact travel insurance and check.

If your insurance will no longer cover you then you could try the specialist insurers such as Avanti (I recommend), Insurancewith and All Clear. I suggest you phone them instead of doing your quote online.

My friend was diagnosed with rectal cancer last June. He’s in his 50s. He had surgery and they found some cancer cells in the lymph nodes so he had chemo. The tumour was higher up in the rectum so he has been able to have his stoma reversed. All this happened in the year since he was diagnosed and he’s doing really well. I hope your DH will have a similar outcome.

You won’t be covered as he’s still undergoing tests and doesn’t have a diagnosis.

Please follow his lead about the holiday. The next few months and years may make travel tricky. Actually the least risky time to go is probably now. Be led by him and don’t make this about you. He deserves a holiday if he still feels up to going. If you are concerned about insurance, call and talk to them. If they won’t cover him, try Insurance With, they are a specialty insurer that cover people with cancer.

When I found out that my cancer came back, the first thing I did was book a holiday to Spain and we were on the plane 48 hours later. I was looking at 2 years of monthly treatment with potentially severe side effects. I got in not one but 2 holidays in the weeks before I started and am very glad I did!

He may also want to look up Shine Cancer Support. They’re an organisation that supports people in their 20s to 40s with cancer as we’re a bit of a rare group (almost everyone he’ll come across in the hospital will be pensioners!). They offer regular meet ups in lots of areas and there are programmes for partners too.

Because of the family history, in due course, he may want to be asked to be screened for Lynch Syndrome. If he has it, it puts him at risk of other cancers and if you have children, you’ll want them screened too.

i also think you should try to go on the holiday - where is it?

Thank you everyone - he is so keen to go away and I want to support that. I know he has a tough few weeks (at the very least) ahead, so want to do anything for him to have some enjoyment.

it is just the insurance that worries me, but I will look at All Clear and the others mentioned.

When I spoke to the clinical nurse originally she advised against overseas travel, but that might have been more in relation to insurance issues. I thought I would call tomorrow to check there is no medical reason for him not to travel.

We have been given an appointment date with the surgeon now, 28th September which would be the day after we’d be due back. This seemed to be booked in before the MRI and CT scans. Does anyone know if we might get any info before the meeting? Like if the scans are showing that it’s spread or not? Or do we have to wait until the face to face meeting?

He does have a diagnosis.

In my husband's case, he wasn't told anything until his post-scan appointment.

Wishing you all the best.

So we’re trying to push ahead with the holiday still, and have spoken to AllClear, however they need us to confirm if the cancer is terminal or not, and as of yet don’t have any information on staging etc.

I’ve left a message for the secretary of my partner’s surgeon so hoping she can call back soon with any advice.