My husband has been diagnosed with bowel cancer and I am struggling

[Flowberry]

Hi, yesterday my DH was told a mass had been found following a colonoscopy that was very certainly cancer. He is 43. He’s had stomach issues for years, but recently they ramped up, lots of bleeding and weight loss. He had several tests done initially and they were all clear, so we really had to push for further investigation. I’m not coping. We have two small children. I’m seeing my GP later today for help so I don’t fall apart.

people keep telling me that bowel cancer is very treatable, but I’m so sorry that the symptoms he’s had and the way the doctor told us that it’s at an advanced stage.

not sure what I’m looking for, a safe space to speak I suppose, and maybe stories from people who have been in a similar situation.

his grandfather died at around 50 from bowel cancer so am not feeling safe enough to try and feel positive.

I am so sorry to read this Flowberry I wish this wasn't the update. Please look after yourselves all of you x.

I and DH have just been told he has the same cancer and am awaiting further tests at the moment.

Sending you both love and best wishes. It’s a hard journey but try and stay positive as it really does help. It gets better once you have a treatment plan and you know that the Drs are starting to kick that tumour out 💐

Oh op I’m sorry. Thinking of you both x

I'm so sorry to read your update, sending kindest thoughts

I am very sorry OP. This must have been a tremendous shock and very hard. I hope so much that it is treatable. You are stronger than you think.
I am sure you are spiralling towards thinking of your darling small children without a dad. I can gently reassure you from the sad experience of both family and friends that small children are a lot more adaptable and resilient than you would think. Older children/teens seem to struggle more from what I have seen.
Fingers massively crossed and thinking of you. Take it one day at a time.

It’s normal to feel scared and to not feel positive right now.

Try to take this one appointment and one day at a time. Be kind to yourself: this is a shitty situation and cancer is a 🤬

Do you have a support network? If you do take the help where you can - even if this means a little time to go for a walk and stop somewhere for something to eat and drink.

Ask the oncology team to explain the aims of treatment clearly—for example, whether the chemotherapy is intended to control the cancer, shrink it, relieve symptoms, make surgery possible, or achieve another goal.

Chemotherapy and other cancer treatments have improved considerably, including medicines that can help prevent or manage many side effects.

Depending on where you are your hospital team will direct you to agencies that can offer additional support. For example in North London there’s a great charity called Cherry Lodge Cancer Centre where a family member and friend who are undergoing cancer treatment get holistic treatments alongside their chemotherapy regime. They have found acupuncture particularly useful to help with some of the side effects of chemotherapy and their energy levels. They also got some counselling through there too to help them process everything that was happening.

Wishing your husband the best care and treatment and you lots of patience and love xx

How are you both doing @Flowberry ?