Graduated elderberries

[janey1234]

Hello all..,
Let's clog up a brand spanking new club over here

(By hello all, I guess I mean hello hazle. Hopefully the others will join us soon...)

Ooh we're off to look at a pram this afternoon (we're buying 2nd hand) so maybe the buying will finally start!
I'm not buying a changing unit as I think they're overpriced and the general advice is that it's actually much safer to change them on a changing mat on the floor where they can't wriggle and fall off! My mum has got an old pine chest of drawers which is fine apart from the varnish is a bit knackered so I'm going to strip and paint that and that will do for furniture apart from a cot for now.

hazle exactly! I'm not judging her weight gain but the complete inability to dress without looking like a very squat tub despite having all the money in the world!!! And each of her outfits looks progressively more uncomfortable than the previous one.

Did you get the pram Purple? Which one are you going for? I think second hand is a good idea as we all know these things don't get anywhere near enough use to justify their ridiculous prices. We are going to have to get a new one as DH's parents have very kindly given us the money specifically for a pram so if we get one cheaper I will feel like we have defrauded them. It's at the back of the list though as we don't really have anywhere to store one at the moment and I'm trying to avoid storing any baby stuff in the garage or loft.

I am having a bit of a down day today. My ligaments really hurt and all I want to eat is junk food, which then makes me feel worse/guilty that i'm not eating well enough for the baby. I haven't slept well for days so I'm hoping it's that and not the start of some kind of pregnancy depression.

Yes we got it, it's an icandy apple, really pleased with it, it's nice and sturdy so should survive some decent dog walks and it has got both the four wheel and three wheel options so you can interchange them. We've got nowhere to store it either so I think it will go to my inlaws very nice clean dry garage for now. I just decided if I only had a couple of hundred quid to spend I'd rather have a good second hand one than cheap flimsy new one and we got a maxi cosi car seat, carry cot, rain cover and the extra wheel and hub as well as the main buggy for £225 and it's nice and clean and new looking so very pleased. I think when you've got a car as well the pram probably isn't quite so important and some of the ones on the market cost more than my next car!
I finally feel like I'm getting organised, that said, it was all down to my OH [Grin]

Oh and sorry you're feeling down Rach but I think it's inevitable to have a few days like that when you think of all we're going through! have a cup of tea, put your feet up and cut yourself some slack, I've had to do that today, the house is a tip but my hips are killing me so I decided to give myself a bloody break and sit down like I obviously need to. If baby wants junk food then that's what you must give her

Rach hopefully just hormones, I have those days as well. Hopefully you'll feel better tomorrow and indeed, there's no harm in occasional junk food!

If it makes you feel any better rache, I went to see bloc party last night and had a curry after with my hammered DP and friends, and today I've been to twickenham to see England France so had McDonald's for brunch and just nothing until i had a bacon sarnie just now for a very late tea. Oops. I've squished an unwanted banana and apple in just now though because I feel so bad about it!

I think we're all allowed days like this - just treat yourself. And I'm sure we're all taking vitamins too so the odd few days of crap won't do any harm.

Hope you're feeling ok.

Then i must confess I had a full English breakfast for brunch and McDonald's on the go for dinner today, so don't worry about the junk food and I'm not even taking any vitamins apart from vitamin d. As long ad it's not every day I don't think it matters too much!

I'm not convinced pregnancy vitamins will compensate for the shit I have eaten this weekend but I'm glad it's not just me.

I just made the mistake of going in Mothercare to buy some more maternity tights... I am now £100 lighter. I wasn't aware they had a sale on.

Well I do hope you weren't buying baby clothes Rach, Mothercare is NOT on the approved list, not to mention any sort of nasty supermarket baby grows and god forbid you should buy anything second hand, the horror!...oh no wait, sorry, just channeling my bloody mother who has started telling me how to dress my child before it is even born. If I hear the phrase 'my grandchild!' Once more I'm going to SCREAM! God give me strength, I'm not sure my already fractious relationship with my mother can survive this.
Seriously though, I hope the shopping spree lifted you out of your temporary gloom

Oh, and for your information, Marks and Spencer's is approved and suitable to clad the royal bottom

There's too much choice nowadays. Friends came over with their 8-month old and Emmaljunga pram, went for a walk and on rough terrain and snow, this must be the best there is. Bit bulky though so you'd need another one for city but it's impossible to decide! My mum (in Soviet Union) had it easier, you had a choice between.. a pram or no pram.

Purple tell her that she was able to dress her child in whatever she chose, so now it's your turn.

Your Mother definitely wouldn't approve of you talking to me Purple as I'm afraid I did get some sleep suits and vests in the Mothercare sale. And I have already got some from Sainsburys. And this is not even mentioning the second hand stuff I've been given. I am practically the Devil himself.

Your Mum could end up being harder work than your newborn!

While in Mothercare I stupidly decided to get some breast pads to keep at home as my phone app has informed me my boobs could start leaking colostrum at any time. I stood in front of the fixture and thought WTF? There are about a million different varieties to choose from! Having never had leaky norks before, how am I supposed to know what sort to get? Why can't anything just be simple?!

Oh don't worry Rach, it's not you, I'd bought a couple of second hand baby grows and vests without your bad influence and I could HEAR her pulling the 'I can smell poo' face over the phone! Not to mention the pram (is it not dirty?)
I know I keep threatening murder a lot at the moment but honestly, it's not me it's THEM!
I got some free breast pads at a parents to be type event at Mothercare today, had no idea there were lots of different types though, I'm firmly burying my head about all that kind of stuff!
My pram is very big and sturdy Hazle but is pretty bulky and heavy, I wanted something robust but I hope it's not TOO big, so hard to know until you've actually lived with it for a bit I suppose, this new parents thing is difficult isn't it, how you supposed to know what you want when you've never used any of it before?

My dogs have decided as well that it's time we start working on those sleepless nights. They are usually totally quiet, no problem, but last night decided to bark pretty much hourly - there must have been some animal in the garden, I guess. I'm like a zombie. Working full time with a 3-month old will be...interesting.

Also a zombie. DP was up from 2am with an upset stomach and being sick. I think I got back to sleep about 4am, not sure about him, the poor thing.
Selfishly am really hoping it's something he ate (although we ate the same yesterday ) rather than a bug I could catch too...

Waiting for the architect's plans for the attic conversion. Want to get everything signed off so the building can start asap!

My shopping has now started, as I've passed the 20 week point. And so far I have bought.... a teddy. Well done me, practical as ever.

I'm a week into terrible nights sleeps and the zombie look is now becoming 'normal.' Work have emailed this morning to tell me to go for an updated photo next week for the photo wall in reception. I'm currently fat with large eye bags - just great! Well that should scare any potential new business away while i'm off on maternity.

I really hope it's not a bug too Janey. FX

Some tips our friends with the baby shared yesterday:

Don't be a hero and/or think those commercials with the whole family happily sharing the bed are true. Make sleep a priority and if one is taking care of the baby, the other should go sleep in the spare room/sofa, so at least one parent will be somewhat rested and coherent.

Don't buy too many toys, you'll get tons as gifts.

Don't buy too many newborn clothes - people will also give them to you and if you're tall, chances are your baby will be too big for them anyway.

Also if tall - get a high changing table to save your back.

If you have bought clothes in several sizes, don't let your nesting instinct pull the labels off and wash all of them ahead of time. They might turn out to be for wrong season or you might simply change your mind - easier to sell if they are new.

Try not to buy too much stuff you might need before you know what you actually need - babies are different.

Anything interesting your friends with children have told you?

My friends with kids have all told me the best advice is not to take advice - just nod politely and then ignore it and just find your own way.

That may well apply once baby arrives but for now I really feel like I need advice as I don't have a damn clue about most of the stuff I'm buying!

For example, I have just ordered a pack of 3 newborn summer swaddles. Friends have said swaddling was the only way to get their newborns off to sleep but I assume every baby is different so I have no idea whether we'll need these or not? But I didn't want to not get any in case it is the only way our baby will sleep and swaddling with a sheet is apparently a bit of an art form.

I agree it's a very good idea to leave everything in the packet in case it's not needed in order to sell it on.

As for clothes, I have been told the only clothes a baby needs until 6 months is vast quantities of body suits and sleep suits so that's all I will be getting. The second hand stuff we have been given has got loads of outfits in case we visit the Queen and require some actual clothes.

I have been told not to go OTT with the stockpiling of nappies and wipes as different babies suit different nappy brands and it's a case of trial and error to work out which ones suit yours. My friend's baby was allergic to Pampers and she had bought boxes and boxes of them! Also some babies skip size 1 and go straight into size 2 or even size 3 so there's no point guessing how many you'll need. I think I will just get one pack of size 1 and size 2 for the birth and then DH can trot off to the supermarket once we have worked out which ones fit. Apparently a newborn can go through about 10 nappies a day.

I have also been told that something at waist height is essential for changing if you don't want to end up with a bad back.

I have been looking at hospital bag threads to see what I need to get and they all seem to advise to buy loads and loads of thick maternity towels for after the birth. Some women say they had to wear 3 at once and change every few hours for the first few weeks, so those are something I do intend to stockpile! It says on the boxes of breast pads I bought yesterday that you are likely to go through 80-100 per week for the first 4 weeks after birth.

I can see why people say babies are expensive now! I may have to remortgage to afford all the maternity towels and breast pads!

100 per week! 3 maternity towels at once!
Wow life after having baby sounds..charming and pleasant, leaking from all possible places.

80-100?! Wow. We have so much to look forward to

I've been advised to buy loads of massive, cheap, cotton pants from tesco or the like. Apparently normal knickers can be sore, especially if you have elcs or emcs. High waisted essential if you do have cs, massive necessary regardless of cs or natural birth so they can fit loads of pads in.

When I had my mc at 12 weeks I wasn't allowed out of hospital until the bleeding returned to the kind of levels you'd expect after childbirth - and I was shocked at how much that was. So the bigger the pads the better. Get loads!!

I'm getting some swaddling things just in case rache - def worth a try and you don't want the hassle to having to go any buy them when knackered post birth.

I can't remember if I've posted this here, but have also been recommended a co-sleeper cot. Apparently they're brilliant for the night feeds as they save you having to move from the bed, and safer than sleeping with the baby in your bed. You can hire the wooden one from NCT, although I might buy the other as it doubles as a carry cot and my mate said it was brill and she knows infinitely more than me having had one

think I will get this one

or

this one can be hired

Ha, cross post hazle. It really does sound --gross- lovely.

Morning all!

Nodnod to maternity towels - have to say that, they are incredibly comfy, too, especially with sore netherbits. After my op on my near-unmentionables before Christmas, the lovely lovely nurse gave me a load of maternity towels as my dressing kept leaking gunk. She also gave me fake mesh pants which were, again, so comfy and let the air get in to everything else.

The towels are like how sanitary towels used to be before they all got thin, excpet thicker. It's like sitting on a big absorbent cushion. Honestly, it was amazing, also felt very secure.

I've had the same advice as you Rache about listening politely and ignoring advice - from my mum. I really hope she knows I'll be applying this to her most of all

Other advice: Don't tell anyone your name ideas because you won't like how they react.

Also, was told to start pinching my nipples really hard to desensitise them. Not sure about this one. Before being pg, i had the least sensitive boobs ever - I never ever felt anything, various men would have a go but I honestly felt nothing at all. Now, I get it and I likey (most of the time) not sure I want to start taking that away from myself so soon after finding them

Sleepwise, I have no dogs or sick DP, but have been finding it hard to get comfy at night. Nothing specific, I'm just wriggling a lot and not getting far. Have taken another pillow into bed to have by my side and since then, I have slept a bit better.

Although, I do have chavvy neighbours who like to have screaming rows in the dead of night, usually on a Sunday, always when DP is on the early shift and leaves at 5. Last night was particularly memorable, doors slamming, threatening to tell AA sponsor about falling off the wagon, it was all going on. At 11.30 at night. We are in a terraced house. We hear sneezes and plug sockets being switched on. We hear everything. It's like living next-door to a one-house episode of EastEnders...

I want to get a bedside sleeper as well, but we have a really low bed, just the frame with no legs, so even the low ones are too high.
Something like this might work though, seems to be adjustible all the way:
www.natiloo.com/berceau-transformable-bebe-cote-p-6101585.html
Hm I remember reading though that bumpers are not recommended?

My dreams of a co-sleeper cot thingy will never come to fruition - OH was even trying to ban same-room sleeping at one point. Finally relented to it being on the other side of the room. Which, frankly, is pointless. Hopefully he will see this after one night of much disruption sleep...

When baby is ready to go in the cot we are going to get something like this, which should stop arms from getting stuck through the bars but will still allow breathing if baby's face is pressed up against it (I believe inability to breath is the reason traditional cot bumpers are no longer recommended?)

Yes those few weeks after birth certainly aren't something to look forward to. Add to the leaking from everywhere the fact that every friend and relative in the world will visit you when you probably would really be left on your own to leak quietly.