BROOKING NO ARGUMENT for pain-free sneeze births and an abundance of empty birthing pools - pt 12!

[FluffyJawsOfDoom]

I think this is the first time I've ever started a brooking thread!

In relation to hip/pelvis size. I was talking to one of my work colleagues today, her mw would ask her what her shoe size was. It wasn't until the fourth pg that she remembered to ask what her shoe size had to do with anything and she got told that there is a link between shoe size and pelvis size and how easily you are likely to give birth and also how long they can safely allow you to carry on naturally without feeling they need to bring assistance in. Her feet are a size 4 but it sounds like she had no probs at all!

My feet are size 8 and I was told that my pelvis size was very good for giving birth shame my contractions weren't

Hello! We're back in civilisation after a long weekend in the arse-end of nowhere. I'm sure the area we were in is absolutely stunning when you can see more than 3 metres in front of you due to torrential rain and apocalyptic darkness, but quite frankly I may as well have been in a dishwasher for all the scenery we saw!

How is everyone? I've obviously missed the end of the previous thread so apologies if I've missed anything important.

tock - ah, you're a braver woman than me! DD is still taking potty-training very slowly, and seems to have exactly the same problem as your DS re: naked/clothed situation. Although she also seems to struggle with how it feels to need or do a wee. We've got new carpets so I'm really loathe to take the plunge at the moment . Maybe I should just bite the bullet and do what whims did. She's 2.4 now but really interested in using the toilet (NOT the potty, that's for babies apparently ) so as soon as the tumble dryer* arrives I will go for it.

Fluff - tricky! I would say that having him over, but asking him to leave if you go into labour could be misconstrued as not wanting him to see his grandchild, so tread carefully! However, the last thing you need is to feel stressed and tense in the 3rd trimester as well. I don't think 3 hours away is too bad actually, as I was in labour (induced) for over 27 hours, but everyone's different and some people have very fast first births. Maybe sit down with your DH, tell him your worries (write them down if necessary) and your dilemma, and explain that you're feeling very vulnerable right now so please try and see this from your point of view? He might be able to come up with an alternative that you haven't thought of (like a local cheap hotel/b&b for your FIL in case of emergency?).

Stacks I do hope it isn't a UTI, although your symptoms do sound very similar to what I had. Fx for you. Early movement felt like flutterings/wind for me, so flicking sounds about right!

Oh, that was a long one. Sorry. And so many people I've missed out - sorry whims, Gen, Jen, scarlett, musical, Imps and Biscuits. Oh, Biscuits, I had to tell you - I always envisage you as Mr Biscuits from Buzz & Tell on CBeebies Sorry about that!

*Yes, bad Smegs, but we bought an A rated one for a steal, and hopefully that won't impact too badly on the environment. And I'm going to use washable nappies for DC2 to assuage my guilt a little. Just couldn't stand having huge amounts of laundry 'drying' for days in this damp pile any longer, especially as the dehumidifier did naff-all to help!

I had an old boyfriend who kept telling me I had child bearing hips, i'm undecided whether that is meant to be a compliment or not?! my hips pre pg were about 38/39 inches I think and that is actually slightly bigger than when I knew him.

I think I have a child-bearing arse...

NB I do know how childbirth works! Was just a comment on the size of my bum. Not sure about my hips - DD came out eventually anyway!

Hi all

Fluff - understandably you are a bit anxious that the baby may come early; your DH does get this does he? I think if your DFIL is a lovely man then try to get him to come before you are b-fing etc because it will deffo be more relaxing to still be pg and hosting. Stipulate that they treat you like the preggo princess you are, and get them to go out one afternoon at the weekend and you stay at home and have a lovely rest. And yes, no cooking, slaving etc - DH must do that. Good luck. And thanks for the new Fred too.

Thanks to Scarlett, Generic and Whims - v helpful potty advice. You are so right - no need to put the pressure on as he's still only 2y4m and to do a poo in the potty without me prompting him is already excellent plus he was proud of himself rather than repulsed which I've heard can be happen and is a big step backwards. I think I'll keep on with the au naturelle style and progress to underpants while we are on our family holiday together so that DP can suffer the mess with me and see if DS responds well. If not we'll leave it until he's more ready. I'm sure he will be in the fullness of time.

Big waves to Imps and Biscuits - so nice to see you in here.

Whims - so much happening in your life, how exciting. I must try to see your lovely bag on FB boo, have to get my arse over to FB, not my fave of places.

Off to make greek salad and bruschetta for tea. At least we can pretend it's summer.

Missed the last few posts. LOL at Smegs c-b arse. hahaha. Like I said, the hips don't come into it though men like to think they know all about it. If thunder thighs helped I would be on to a winner I think. They aren't quite thunder - that's a little unkind to myself - just 'rumble thighs' perhaps... could be more 'blue skies thighs' if I did enough exercise. Ah well - who wants to be perfect anyway?

Smegs - after two decades of vowing I would never buy a dryer (for same reasons as you) we succumbed this spring. I did washable nappies for 2years without one, so hopefully I have paid my dues. Like you, we live in a Vic house disposed to damp and couldn't take it any more with the increased amount of washing. I will share your guilt if you like. Whenever poss, I still hang out the washing. With this summer though I feel grateful we took the plunge. Enjoy it!

Good luck with the tests Stacks.

Hi everyone

Nice new thread fluff.

I've got my early scan tomorrow peeps, not til 5.30pm though, so don't panic if I don't update til this time. If all goes well, then I might move in here properly. Obviously feeling a bit nervous, but I feel so crap, I'm hopeful that's a good sign

GOOD LUCK LITTLE

Brookety brook brook

Brooking lots for you Little!

Smegs and Tock - I've always thought I'd never have a tumble dryer for various reasons, but I must say that what with a deluge of Little Clothes and washable nappies, I'm now very tempted! I think an extreme lack of money (having the kitchen redone at the mo, which is sucking up expendable income!) will prevent me though..

Fluff, personally I think YANBU, but you have to tread carefully! Like everyone else has said, maybe have lots of plans in place, like the B&B? I had lots of people visit around my due date, and although I initially felt like you, I was glad when the time rolled round - it meant I stopped mentalling about when I'd go into labour/symptoms/my vastness for a bit!

Brooking for you Little

Good luck for tomorrow Little!

Fingers crossed Little; hope the nerves aren't too bad. I was quietly nervous too, it's only natural. We're all brooking no argument. xxx

Musical - I did wait until I was 40 to buy the dryer! (For some reason that feels significant, perhaps because I lead a v exciting life, as you can tell. ) We had to just pay someone to knock a hole in the wall and make sure there is a route out for the hot air - something to bear in mind Smegs, unless you bought one that condenses the hot air back to water in which case you are v posh.

Am seeing a friend today, who has a DS and DTs and gave the advice that I was trying too hard during my 18months of TTC2 and determined testing which led to the discovery of male fertility issues. I haven't told her I am pg. I am tempted to rub it in that trying hard was the only way I managed to get diffed and that a lot of friends gave me v crap advice, but I shall be more graceful. For some reason I feel really pissed off with her. Perhaps it was because she also told me that I was better off with one DC - ie, there was no way I was ever going to crack the egg, in as many words. When I told her I thought I could still get pg (on email as she is currently working abroad) she didn't ever write back. Oh well, I just have to be bigger and better than my petty bitter and twisted emotions. And at least I can say that I did crack the egg, I suppose. Time to NBU.

Tock about your friend! What an outrageous way to discuss TTC with a friend. If I were you I still wouldn't tell her about the pregnancy - she doesn't deserve to know! Plus it will be quite funny to hear her bang on with more silly advice and opinions. But then, I'm a bit of child :)

Argh, my pelvis pain has ramped up a notch today :( I woke up in discomfort, thought a walk round Tesco might help and instead I've made it worse. It's now gone all stabby when I walk, sigh.

That's pretty harsh tock I hope she's more thoughtful today. In her defense (ish) I think the one thing I've realised from ttc is that people who don't have to "try" Just Don't Get It I can't believe she told you you'd be better off with one though what a hypocrite

*I did, however, buy some baby wipes, nappies and cot sheets that were on sale :o

Oh no, fluff . What sort of shoes are you wearing? A friend of mine who had pelvic girdle pain in pg spent her final months in sports trainers (not fashion ones, ie converse). She said she didn't care how uncool she looked, it was the only thing that helped her get about. Maybe if you switch to comfy shoes early enough you can manage the pain?

tock your friend is clearly a numpty, and you should pity and mock her rather than be . The thing is, some of my friends went through a great deal while ttc their children, way before DH and I had even thought of having kids. I never said anything as dumb as 'you just need to relax' because it patently wouldn't help anyone who's that emotionally fraught -and it's obviously untrue since otherwise IVF wouldn't exist. I think some people genuinely don't have the empathy or emotional capacity to understand things from other people's perspective .

In other news, it looks like I may have manflu another summer cold. I'm shivery, achey, have a monster headache, sore throat and streaming nose. Just lovely . I'm getting tired of both the weather and my health being shit. I'm normally a very healthy person so a bit ticked off, to say the least!

Little brooking for you.

So, I went to the doctor today, who made me even more worried :( Started asking me questions about miscarriages and whether the symptoms were similar to how my cancer first presented itself. I wasn't at all worried last week, now I've had 2 health professionals get all concerned for me, and I don't like it. He took blood, and asked me to come back next week. Which is better than the midwife, who wouldn't let me leave without making sure I had the number for NHS direct, and assured me I could pop into the outpatient department at any time over the weekend if things got worse, or go to A&E. :(

As the UTI test came back negative, I've decided I'm going to act as though my back pain is just that - back pain. I'm going to be super nice to my back, take regular breaks from sitting at my desk all day, not go to the gym, sit 'properly' all evening, warm baths and perhaps massages from DH (and no more housework). If at the end of the week things are noticeably better, then I think I'll have proved this is a muscle pain.

Good news is I'm slightly more certain the flicking feelings I'm having are the baby :) Also heard the heartbeat again today silly worrying Dr worrying me more.

That post was me, me, me. Sorry!

Fluff I hope your pain gets better. I actually read somewhere the best footwear when pregnant was small, wide heels? Have you seen a physio at all?

Smegs I hope you feel better soon. It's awful feeling ill at the best of times, but almost worse when you're not used to it. I never used to get ill before, and I found I handled it poorly when I did get ill and also never gave people enough sympathy when they got ill.

Tock some people just don't get it. If she's not a close friend any more, then I'd maybe not bother telling her you're pregnant. I'd hate to think how she might behave... would she start with horror stories about your age and how hard you're going to find everything? There are quite a few people I've not mentioned my pregnancy to - I still feel a bit weird about telling people. Rather like telling everyone it's your birthday today. It's like asking for congratulations and attention for something they probably don't really care about? Am I weird for finding it all sort of socially embarrassing?

Brooking for little's scan which is happening right now

Try not to worry stacks, I'm sure they're just being extra cautious given your history, which is a good thing :) Look after your back and hopefully it will improve, and leave the worrying to the experts who seem to be doing more than enough for everybody

I've been wearing flat shoes for a while, not sure they're helping/hindering tbh. Had a bath at lunch and it's feeling a bit better though, thanks :)

I think completely flat shoes aren't the best thing, fluff. Do yours have a bit of a heel?

Oh, hmm. No they're pretty flat, I'll have a look through my shoe collection for something else tomorrow. Tbqh though, working from home I'm usually shoeless lol

Hi all

good news, I've seen my little flickering bean measuring exactly as it should be, which is 7wks 1day. Feeling ever so happy! It's great to be able to tell people on here too, as we're still not telling rl people yet.

fluff don't you be pushing trolleys when you decide to have a stroll round Tescos. It is a v bad thing to do if you're getting pelvic girdle pain.

Hurray for Little - what a joy for you. Wonderful news. You can tell us again and again and again if you like!

Oh dear. Fluff, Smegs and Stacks - sorry to hear of various upsetting woes, especially being freaked out by the docs - all of you need some TLC. Smegs - your immune system just isn't playing ball is it? How frustrating. I hope the old honey and lemon hot water gives some release, or at least some paracetemol? Sounds like you need a holiday. Fluff - I would have thought shoeless was quite good. Can you get the odd swim in, unless you hate the water of course? I think it's good to stretch and get those various muscles and hamstrings working for their keep. Stacks - I do hope your back ache stops and you can relax a bit more. The docs are just basing all this on your history. You know best, and it feels to me like you know it is just muscle pain. Well done for staying upbeat, and yes get yourself a lovely massage from your DH. Brooking for you that it all looks better by the end of the week. Great that you are getting flickerings now - how lovely.

You are all v sweet about my feelings about my friend. I didn't ever think she meant it nastily: people are just really thoughtless about what you are going through. I think she was finding her DTs so tiring, which is why she suggested I stick with one. She was trying to make me feel better although managed the opposite. Tbh there's not a lot people can say when you pour your heart out about prolonged TTC, unless they've been through it too and a lot of people don't want to revisit. To my shame I did 'pour' more than I would have liked, especially after a year or so of trying and I was getting desperate. When said mate told me I looked v well today I explained I was pg and she was actually over the moon. So I think her weird comments were just her handling things badly and being v involved in her own world - DTs, return to big job, move abroad for big job. Stacks - I totally get what you're saying about it being weird telling people. For me it feels like showing off. But I'm also so excited and have such a boring life that I can't help but splurge my news, tho calming down now. Also - I want to tell people I haven't put on weight but am actually diffed! It's funny - one or two people, and not ones that I know v well but that are in my mums' network, have been so pleased (and almost cried) it's actually been really moving. So in a way you just seem to find out more about people's personalities. I think we brookers should try to enjoy telling people, even though I know what Stacks means. Gen - hope you're enjoying it a bit?

Just wanted to say - I didn't respond in detail to all the different potty training stories but they have all lodged in my mind and it's v sweet to think of all those little bums on potties, learning the fundamentals of life. Thanks for sharing.

xxx