Need A Hand Hold - DS18 in ICU **Trigger warning**

[JungleZgok]

Just over 18 years ago, when I was in early labour with my wonderful DS I posted on Mumsnet until I went to the hospital (have name changed since then but was a regular poster). I had lots of encouraging posts from lovely mumsnetters and it was so helpful.

Now my DS is in ICU in a critical condition. I have been up nearly all night. My heart is breaking and I have never known grief like this. DS has been suffering from anxiety and depression and has been on meds over the last 7 weeks and having therapy and visits from the Adult Mental Health service but yesterday evening he decided he couldn't face it anymore.

He is such a sweet boy who always thinks of others. We have a great family and he has been talking to his older and younger sister. He has been talking to both me and DH and we have done everything we can to help him and keep him safe. But it hasn't worked.

I want to understand why this has happened and answers and reassurance that he is going to pull through but it is not looking that good. I can't cope. I feel like a shell and have never cried so much or been sick and to the toilet so much. I can't sleep.

Please be kind. I am not feeling that strong at the moment.

Oh OP, I am so sorry.

I’m so sorry. Sending love and strength to you and your family.

Sending love to you all

I’m so so sorry @JungleZgok , just heartbroken for you, your family and your lovely DS. Praying for a miracle x

Absolutely heartbreaking update...as a Mum I cannot imagine the absolute heartache 💔 Sending you my thoughts OP Xxx

I'm so, so sorry xxx

So sorry to hear this 💙

i am so very sorry , you sound like a wonderful family x

I'm so very sorry, OP. This is heartbreaking.

I'm so sorry. I am holding you and your lovely son in my prayers tonight.

Heartbroken for you. I am truly sorry. Praying for a miracle for you and your family.

I'm so so sorry to read your heartbreaking update. Thinking of you all. Xx

Praying for you all. Your sweet, lovely son. xxx

Such a heartbreaking update - I'm so sorry.

OP I'm sending you all the hope I have to for a miracle for your lovely DS and strength to you and the rest of your family

I am so, so sorry. 💐 There are no words for what you are all going through.

I am so sorry, I have lit a candle for him here and I'm sending prayers to you all

Having teenage and older boys myself I am so sorry for you. Praying your DS pulls through.

Oh I'm so, so sorry. Thinking of you all.

My heart goes out to you and your family OP.

I have been almost exactly where you are only it was my Dad, not my son. I too sat at his bed side in exactly the same circumstances, then received the same devastating news.

That was 23 years ago but some days it feels like only hours.

Truly, my heart breaks reading this. Sending you all the love of the world.

I am so sorry for you and your family.

I'm heartbroken by your update. I can't even begin to imagine what you must be thinking or feeling just now.

Hold your boy, stroke his face, tell him how much he is adored and always has been. Chances are he can hear you.

Lean on family and friends. Mumsnetters will always be here for you when you are ready.

Also praying for a miracle and keeping you all very much in my thoughts.

Op, sending lots of love, thoughts and prayers for your ds and you all.

The thought of being in your position fills me with dread, and whilst I hope there is an almost miracle update for you, if the worst is to happen, I hope your ds is comfortable, at peace and knows how very very much he is loved.

💐

I am so sorry, OP, having read your update. I am sure your son can feel your presence and your love and he feels safe knowing you are there.

So very very sorry. You are in my thoughts and prayers xx

I’m so very sorry. Sending you love and strength and a hand hold xxx