Trinityrhinos Unspeakably Shit Stuff part two

[TrinityRhino]

Hi everyone
Thank you for so much help and such kind words x

Do you have foxes there then? Or was it rats that hurt your other chickens?

We have foxes that come to the garden, this week there was a new cub (no chicken allowed around here).

At our previous house our NDN had a huge flock of them and an aggressive cockerel. They'd not clipped their wings so they used to get over the 6 foot high fence and one laid 20 eggs in our garden in the long grass.

The cockerel came rushing at me once, claws facing towards me, when I'd put some stuff in our compost bin and I'd shrieked so loudly that the NDN had said "he's out again" before coming to rescue me! This involved holding him down with two long handled brushes as it angrily tried to escape. I'd just found out I was pregnant, so was hormonal and was in my dressing gown...

I still like chickens though, they make such a happy noise.

greenhill, I'm sorry but that has made me laugh

we had a cockerel once but he was every so friendly
he used to eat crackers out of my hand

I love chickens, I think they are so cute and friendly

we still have lots of sun here and I have two men strimming and doing other garden things and a whole crew of others coming to sort my chicken pen and fencing!!!
I'm ridiculously excited

didn't manage much sleep at all last night so I'm running on just excitement at the mo and the fact that its very very sunny and pretty out there

had some horrible dreams when I did sleep, woke up crying a couple of times
ugh felt like a nights work rather than a nights sleep

but I'm here and up and pottering about trying to clear more space in my house
I'm looking forward, I'm positive
I may have eaten chocolate already and be planning ice cream soon but I'm sober and fag free

I'm alive

chocolate and icecream - part of a balanced diet aren't they?

chocolate comes from beans and they're one of your five a day for one thing.

The garden work-party sounds great - do they do housecalls?

Trin, you are impressive. Sorry about the bad night, but you seem to facing the day with such a positive attitude.
Thinking of you, often...

Sober and fag free is great trin. Ice cream and chocolate are wonderful substitutes .
Looking forward and being positive is fab - baby steps are the way to go for now. Don't try to hard, just coping is fine for now.
Thinking of you x

Hello lovely :)

Sounds like things are swinging from high to low and back again, which has to be expected when you are wracked with such enormous grief, loss and pain...........

Dealing with the utter upheaval of your wonderful life, being yet again, fabulous lady, being twisted, contorted and turned against you....... flipped upside down and back again.

Do you know what? It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter anymore because you'll kick the ass out of these low days babes, you'll kick ass! And the high days? They will see you soaring so high above the world beneath you, the bad days will lessen, the good will grow and multiply. I promise.

YOU CAN DO THIS, you will and you can. YOU CAN xxx

Much love to you Trin and your gorgeous girls, oh and Lolly too. Please say if you can think of anything you need, ANYTHING!

Night lovely, I hope that you sleep tonight xxx

mouseface, your posts are a true inspiration, you have a lovely way with words and manage to articulate feelings so well

trinity, am thinking of you and your family xxx

Sorry to say I think horrible dreams are part of the process, but they will fade.
We had various batches of chickens, I liked the ones with the big flappy feet. DH caught one of the cockerels half way up the stairs once, he swore it was on it's way into bed with me! Looked most indignant when he shoo-ed it out.
I bet your garden is fab now, everyone wants to do stuff for you and you really deserve that.
Stick with the ice cream and chocolate, much better than booze and fags.
You are staggeringly brilliant too stay off all that.
Hope you get peaceful sleep tonight.
Love to you all, and big earscratch to Lolly.
xxx

ssd

Hey Trin - you feeling okay sweetheart? You've not posted so far today which is a) great because you are busy and having a fab day or b) bad because you feel low, sad and lonely.

I'm hoping it's a) ? If you get a mo, can you pop on and maybe say hi to us all? We do worry but obviously, we also respect your privacy and don't want to stick our noses in..... I'm also wondering why I am posting in a 'group' sense kind of way?

Sending much love as always to you all, do you need anything? Please just shout.

Mouse xxx

Hey all, hey mouse
we've been out in the garden again trying to finish the fencing, gates and chicken run, we're getting there

all inside now, doing homework, tea etc

had some unexplainable bursting into tears earlier on but feeling calmer now

^^mouseface, see, I told you you're lovely...and dont !

I'm just checking in.
I bet your garden is lovely.
I have chicken envy

Vivid dreams can be so horrid - bad ones because they are upsetting and good ones because they are not true . All part of the brain's attempt to process the unprocessable.

Hang in there. Make a conscious effort to enjoy the good stuff and just manage the bad as best you can. As you have done and are doing already. You are strong.

Here's hoping for a restful night for you all x.

Focus on something is good.
Focus on a garden is exceptionally good because it's ongoing, and very rewarding.

There's no such thing as unexplainable tears for you.
All your tears are totally traceable and completely understandable, and necessary, so don't fight them or worry about them.

When something like this happens, tears are one of the ways your body deals with it. They have to flow, and not always be predictable.

I think you have a lot of unconscious wisdom Trin, go with it.
Sleep well xxx

Mornin' Trin. Hope you had a calm night. Weather changed here overnight and we are back to rainy cold winter. Keep putting one foot in front of the other . Thinking of you and the girls.

bloody rain

Horrid, wet and cold here too. But at least the wind has dropped.

How's that chicken?

Trin - behind the rain clouds the sun is still there, it's still shining. It still rises each morning, sets each night, warms the seas, seeps through the breaks in the clouds now and then............. it's still there sweetheart.

He's still there too.... shining deep within you, shining in your heart, shining his love for you, showing you, it's all still there.

Let you tears fall, they need to come out, you have to let go of them, you can't see the sun with cloudy eyes.

Big hugs to you gorgeous lady. Hope that the girls are okay? BIg squidges to them too.

I'm off to get my boy from preschool now. Keep looking at that sky, remembering the sun is there.

Mouse xxx

oh mouse, thank you so much

you're such a sweetie

I've been thinking about you lots, especially with Sunday coming up......

DD's very close friend lost her dad 2 years ago and has written a song about him for her music exams/coursework and DD has been talking about it. It's so moving to know that a girl of 14 can do that, have that strength inside her heart to share her feelings and emotions with others, I think she's wonderful. :)

Do the girls get more upset around now? It can't be easy at any time but this year will be incredibly hard for you all, after losing darling Cliff too. Life is pretty fucked up at times isn't it. xxx

I'm not trying to upset you, I promise, I just want you to know that we're here for you ALL xxx

Very dreary again here today and colder it's June FFS!

Off out for supper though with old friends.

Thinking of you Trin, hope you're OK.

(((hugs))) and

Thinking of you, hope girls are ok too. We have streaming colds/ coughs / sore throats due to cold, damp weather.

How is your solitary chicken?

Sun came out as I was walking home from work tonight - hope it was shining on you too, Trin x.

Hello all :)

Trin - how's things? How are the girls? Up and down I guess. Sending you love, lots of it too.

I'm ill. Went to bed at 6.30pm, got told to get up at 9.20am...... why can't mum's be ill?

I'm sorry to offload here, just thought I'd add a dash of normal to the thread, after all, we all have days like this don't we?

Oh and on today's exciting village event is a Bungee Jump in the pub car park. I kid you not. Apparently, a gigantic crane turned up last night, I can see it from my bedroom, it's today, a sponsored thing. I really hope that it's not later tonight as it'll keep Nemo awake, DH will be livid and I'll be in bed feeling ill, wanting sleep.

So my sponsored hobble next Friday of 2.9 miles kind of blurs into the background with this going on!

Trin sweety, come say hi if you get a mo...... we're all thinking of you. Oh, and it's raining here in Almost Wales. xxx

hi, we're ok. mouse

It is raining on and off here (Manchester). Hope the weather is ok for you trin and i hope you and the girls are ok. x