Aibu to buy DS some girl pants?

[Crumpet1]

DS is 5 years old, a happy little boy but does have some suspected special needs. For over a year now he has asked for girl pants, steals my pink pants and has also stolen tights and pants from family and friends at school. I've avoided buying any for him to own because his dad is quite against it and I wasn't sure if it was just a phase that would pass, but now I'm thinking he's going to get caught stealing one day so if I buy him some it might stop him stealing.
I'm just not sure. I always thought I'd be totally cool about this sort of thing but to be honest I'm worried about what other people would say if they found out. The boys in his class would rip him to shreds.

So wwyd?

Why pants? Does he want only pants & no other girlie clothes?
I've plenty of pictures of DS's in pretty dresses, but they never showed interest in pants.

FFS sake, they're pants - I'd buy them, what's the worst that can happen?

I would buy him girls pants, it is really no big deal at all. You are making it into an issue, and it really isn't.

Buy him the pants, but only on the understanding he must NOT wear them into school - sadly, he will be ripped to shreds if he does. I don't think that's right, of course, but it will happen. My DS was teased mercilessly for still wearing 'pants' when everyone else had graduated to boxers.

You don't need to swear at me, I'm only asking a question! Is it not ok to think about something before you do it or ask for others opinions?
He's not fussed about clothes, just got an obsession with pants. I haven't made a big deal of it with him or anyone else, obviously told him about stealing but not about it being girls stuff.

If he is already stealing pants from friends at school then it won't be a massive surprise to them. Could you buy white ones which are more discrete?

Please don't. It won't help the situation, and he will be teased, possibly for the rest of his school days. I know on mumsnet there are lots of boys in tutus etc, but in the rest of the world a little boy wearing girl pants will get tormented. I would go down the line of 'stealing is naughty' full-stop, with clear sanctions for it. What he is stealing is not the issue. It is that he is repeatedly stealing.

Yes that's what I'm worried about Lonny. I don't want him to start talking about them to his friends only for him to be bullied about it. I'm not sure how to talk to him about it without making it sound like its a bad thing to want to wear them.

Sorry, I just don't see it as an issue.
There are girls pants that aren't bright pink

Does he want girl's pants because they are pink? Ds2 did - our solution was pink boxer shorts. If it is because of the style, or the choice of characters I'd go with it but keep them for weekends and holidays. Ds2 sadly learnt to keep his beloved pink boxers for weekends because of teasing.

Have you had a chat about why he wants girls pants/tights?

I'd have a chat about the 'stealing'

The stealing is your problem, not the colour of his pants.

Surely the stealing is the problem here??

I have to agree with scatter and Only.

How about a compromise in next I've seen men's pants/boxers etc in neon colours, see if they do a kids version of them?

If he's so desperate, maybe get him some. But no way to school.

The stealing aside - because it is a separate issue and needs to be dealt with, if you can't get pants/briefs/trunks - whatever style he wants to wear - in pink, buy white and dye them with Dylon. They do a really deep flamingo pink which should be acceptable. I'd not buy girls simply because they are styled differently. Obviously if it's the bows and frills he wants as well as the colour, probably size up for room.

DS3 aged 3 sometimes wears girls pants to school. He loves Peppa pig and unfortunately boys pants only have George Pig on. DS doesn't like George as he is a cry baby so he has Peppa pants. So far nobody has said anything.

If hes five and at school, id tread carefully. I would probably start myself wearing much plainer, less frilly, less covetable underwear, and id buy him a pack that was similar and more unisex, and a pack of exciting looking boys pants. My ds has pants that have pink stripes.
I think theres nothing wrong with experimenting, but if he doesnt understand the social implications of a boy wearing girls underwear to school, then he will be putting himself at risk of never living it down at school. He will not be the one to change the sexist mysoginistic culture at schools. He will only become a target

Buying a child something so they don't steal is a bad move. There will be many things he wants in his lifetime, and he can't just take them.

I just has some long rambling paragraph writing before I twigged you're talking about underwear, not trousers. Yeah, you can't get him girl underwear. Can you get him some white boy briefs/boxers with black bands so they're not seen on the belt line and dye them pink?

Notso Yeah, but he's 3. Kids are too busy picking their nose at that age to care. A 5 year old would be ridiculed and a target for bullies until he left primary. a

Is it the style of pants that he likes, or the colour?

If it's the colour, you can get male boxers in pinks/purples/turquoise etc in places like River Island, so I'd imagine you must be able to get tiny boy pants in the same colours.

If it's the style, could you get girls pants that are the right cut but neutral colours?

Or just try getting him some really cool pants, superheroes or cars or a TV show he loves or something. Make his pants seem much cooler than yours.

By yr3 even wearing white pants (rather than boxer) was enough for some boys to accuse my DS wearing girl's pants. DS stood his ground & still wears briefs (quite unusual in high school).

I think I'd want to explore why pants, and not other girlie / pretty / cuddly things. What is the attraction.

If it's pink he's after then you can get bright pink pants for boys. Well, at least you could a while ago - my son had some really bright ones from Next.

But you need to get on top of the stealing really.