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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

At what age could you go out for lunch and it didn't end up a disaster?

58 replies

LindsayS79 · 01/03/2015 20:33

DD is almost 20 months and is hard work. The tantrums are becoming awful and she's crying all the time when she can't get what she wants (usually things like trying to open a hot oven etc!)
I've had to brave taking her out for lunch a couple of times lately to meet friends and it's been horrendous. I had to leave halfway through lunch with a friend I've not seen in ages because of her behaviour. She won't sit in the high chair for a second. She wants to crawl all over the table and grab everyone's drinks. She then tries to drag me away to walk around the restaurant with her and screams the place down when that doesn't happen!
Can someone with similar experience please tell me it gets better..? I'm so sick of seeing well behaved babies/toddlers sitting in a highchair for ages while mine is screaming!! P.S. I've tried sticker books, colouring in etc, to no avail

OP posts:

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ThisFenceIsComfy · 01/03/2015 20:35

My DS was the same, it got better a few months ago and hes 2.5 now.

seaoflove · 01/03/2015 20:36

Mine is three and a half and lunches out are still purgatory, mainly because she's so fussy our restaurant/cafe options are limited, and she won't necessarily eat even if we do find some food she might like

MrsPear · 01/03/2015 20:38

Sorry to put a downer but to reliably go out and eat lunch plus a little conversation i would say 4 or 5. Yes you do have good lunches before that but not always. Will she nap whilst you lunch?

rhetorician · 01/03/2015 20:39

mine are 3 and 6 now and you can get away with taking them out to lunch and it will be quite pleasant. But don't expect to linger!! It's just not that interesting to them

stitch10yearson · 01/03/2015 20:40

My kids never stopped me from going out to meet friends for lunch. That didn't mean they sat quietly in the high chair for hours on end, I just had different expectations.

stargirl1701 · 01/03/2015 20:41

How is she at home? Does she sit nicely in her high chair? Could you invite friends home rather than go out?

Fairylea · 01/03/2015 20:43

Ds is now 2.8 and still a nightmare ... sorry! (My eldest is 12 and things definitely improved around 4 ish...).

Saying that sometimes he is better than others... mainly if he is actually hungry and isn't over tired. We mainly end up eating ridiculously early (about 11.30 - 11.45 ish) as any later than that and he starts getting very moany. Places like pizza express tend to be better for him because they provide pencils and stickers and a hat etc and the children's menu is quite fun and easy for him to eat. (We use our tesco clubcard vouchers a lot!)

We do always feel like we're on a bit of a timer countdown though. ... We tend to eat as quickly as possible before the whinge begins!

confusedandemployed · 01/03/2015 20:45

I think it depends where you go. DD has just turned 2 and we've been taking her out for lunch / tea for 3-4 months now, without too many issues. My tips would be:

Make sure your restaurant is family friendly. Pizza Express are great, and Indian restaurants are usually excellent.
Take stuff to entertain: crayons, little books, stickers etc.
Order some bread or something straightaway. DD is fine as long as she's got grub in her gob.

Of course I only have the one. I quail at the thought of taking 2...

MirandaWest · 01/03/2015 20:47

I remember a horrendous lunch with DS and DD when they were 3 and 1. Think we left it a few years before trying again.

By 7 and 5 it was ok. I think two DC made it harder. At 11 and 9 they are quite nice to take out for meals :)

GinnelsandWhippets · 01/03/2015 20:48

Ds1 is 3.6, ds2 is 23 months. We can go to restaurant for max 45 min if we remember to bring toys or they have crayons etc. Otherwise it's awful. And 45 mind is an upper limit really. Ds1 is not too bad but they egg each other on which males them both worse. I'm hoping that in 18 months or so it'll be easier. ..

plantsitter · 01/03/2015 20:49

If you want it to be an actual pleasant experience, about 5. If you want it to be manageable and no one stands on their seat and knocks their drink over the table, or runs around the restaurant making child free people tut, about 3 I reckon. Otherwise it depends how bothered you are about other people's glares, tuts and threads on mumsnet about you.you can do it but it's just not all that much fun (which is pointless when you're paying to be there!). Entertain at home for a bit. It's easier.

ThisFenceIsComfy · 01/03/2015 20:49

Oh I should have said that I only eat places that sell icecream. I find it's an excellent motivator for DS

Iggly · 01/03/2015 20:51

Is she having a decent midday nap? Because mine needed one at about 1pm at that age so didn't bother with eating out unless a brunch type thing.

AlpacaMyBags · 01/03/2015 20:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TwoLittleTerrors · 01/03/2015 20:54

It's about 2 year 9 months for DD1. I remember her being a nightmare. And then one christmas, we went out with friends, and she was such a joy. (It's because of the christmas I can recall the age so accurately). I only go to casual places where it's ok to make a bit of noise.

Whiteandbrownrabbit · 01/03/2015 20:56

depends on the child our youngest is 16months sat happily today for almost three hours
oddly the more people the happy the baby/child

I do think its something to doo from a very young age newborn age really

Original poster

LindsayS79 · 01/03/2015 20:59

Thanks everyone. She's usually great in the house, outwith these terrible tantrums that happen randomly. I do usually try to see friends at their houses rather than go out but sometimes it's not possible..
I'm actually just getting to a decent stage with her eating as she had reflux which slowed down weaning. She doesn't show any interest in food when we are out though as there's too much going on. She's sctually the only toddler I know who refuses to eat a chip!!!
I'll need to try pizza express next time!!

OP posts:

Whiteandbrownrabbit · 01/03/2015 20:59

one thing we do, that helps is for the youngest take own food
like toast strawberries banana yougurt etc
finger food you know will go down well

TheDetective · 01/03/2015 21:02

At 20 months, it wasn't happening. At 2 yrs 3 months I can take him out for lunch one on one, or lunch in a soft play type of place and meet a friend.

Lunch with a friend, with a toddler? Only if it's a very quick lunch. No time for much chat really. OR (!) time it for nap time, having given him lunch first, and then pushed him about in the pram long enough for sleep to occur! Then we get an hour or so of leisurely chat (and it's a late lunch for 1.30!).

My oldest DS was never a problem. I remember taking him to meet a bunch of people when he was just turning 2. I'll never forget the comments made about how well behaved he was, and how their children would never have sat through lunch and been so well behaved etc. I kinda already knew he was very well behaved. I just didn't appreciate how much.

Until DS2 came along!!!!

DS3 is on the way, and I'm hoping he might be more like his oldest brother. Probably not!

Boysclothes · 01/03/2015 21:03

DS has just turned 3 and I reckon the last 8 weeks. It's still a time limited exercise though! The best best thing is dinner out in a mixed group with my friends and their DHs and children about 5.30. Dads sit up one end of the table with the children and we sit the other end and drink wine...

stitch10yearson · 01/03/2015 21:03

Persevere with it op. If you don't then you run the danger of having an older child who doesn't know how to eat out in a restaurant. My friend used to hand her 5 & 7 year old boys a ds each at the table and was always surprised that my kids would sit in their chairs and eat their meals. She was a good friend so it was ok to point out to her that her kids were actually good kids, she just hadn't trained them with appropriate expectations. a toddler who runs around a restaurant is perfectly acceptable, a 7 year old isn't, but the toddler eventually learns they can't do that only if they are gently chided and given the appropriate experiences.

Original poster

LindsayS79 · 01/03/2015 21:09

Thanks again. I know we're on a tight timescale, I just wish she would sit in the highchair for 5 mins and eat ANYTHING!!!
I do think I'll keep trying it out every so often just so that she experienced it. I might just need to tell everyone to order water as she's obsessed with trying to get her hands on the cola/coffee etc. That's all I would need if she got that down her

OP posts:

slightlyconfused85 · 01/03/2015 21:11

Dd is 2.4 and I can take her now. I can't expect to linger, however, and if I want to hang about I might take the iPad with me. If I'm happy to have a fairly quick lunch she'll just take some toys. She does sit nicely though and she likes her food so tends to be excited

Fairylea · 01/03/2015 21:12

....

One thing we do is give ds the ice cubes out of our drinks.. He is fascinated by them. When they melt and go all wet we just use the napkins to clean the mess up. Keeps him busy for ages...!

Obviously we only do this in "non posh" places.....!!

ThisFenceIsComfy · 01/03/2015 21:17

Oh yes Fairy icecubes!!!! Yes we do the same. They have magical toddler properties

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