At what age could you go out for lunch and it didn't end up a disaster?

[LindsayS79]

DD is almost 20 months and is hard work. The tantrums are becoming awful and she's crying all the time when she can't get what she wants (usually things like trying to open a hot oven etc!)
I've had to brave taking her out for lunch a couple of times lately to meet friends and it's been horrendous. I had to leave halfway through lunch with a friend I've not seen in ages because of her behaviour. She won't sit in the high chair for a second. She wants to crawl all over the table and grab everyone's drinks. She then tries to drag me away to walk around the restaurant with her and screams the place down when that doesn't happen!
Can someone with similar experience please tell me it gets better..? I'm so sick of seeing well behaved babies/toddlers sitting in a highchair for ages while mine is screaming!! P.S. I've tried sticker books, colouring in etc, to no avail

I don't think going out as a newborn actually helps. We ate out a lot with DD1 as a baby. It's when the terrible twos kicked in when it became a nightmare. Pizza express is good. We also like wagamama and nandos. Basically anywhere that gives crayons and colouring sheet is great. A lot of pubs are quite good too with outdoor play areas. (Though I can't remember if 20 months is too young for the climbing frames. But at nearly 4, it's brilliant for DD1. She and daddy will go off to the play area until the food arrives).

Don't do it when they're tired, don't do it when they're really hungry. Do bring stuff to entertain them (including electronics in an emergency).
Do order them stuff they wouldn't normally be allowed like cake and a nice drink. Do get them to walk about a bit before putting them in the high chair.

I went out for lunch today with my 5 year old and 2.1 year old and they were delightful. The place was busy and we ended up sharing a table with a mum with a howling banshee. I had nothing but sympathy as my 5 year old was the same at that age. My 2 year old is far more biddable, unless everyone is eating cake and she doesn't have any.

Keep at it OP. I threw meals down my neck for years while ds had no attention span. Dd had always been ok in restaurants it was just in her nature. As he got a little older I always made sure he had something he enjoyed eating and we went to busy places like Sainsburys cafe weekly to get him used to eating out. I can now enjoy a lovely meal out and chat with maybe paper and pencils to keep them occupied between courses and have been able to since ds was 4.

It gets better! Mine was just the same at 20 months. Her grandma took us out to lunch yesterday to celebrate DD's second birthday next week. DD sat nicely and didn't try to escape much and utterly failed to kick off. Made a nice change!

With Ds about 5. Too fussy and uninterested before then.

With dd for some reason she has always loved eating out so from weaning really.

Depends on the kid.

DS is 3 and we have just cracked it. We have been taking him out since newborn, so he knows what he's supposed to do.

I find he's more badly behaved when he has a same-aged friend with him - or his same-aged cousin: those two together are like poo-flinging monkeys! We'll only get them together for food in a family home.

Have stuff to keep them entertained. DS hates stickers, I don't like giving him my phone, he loves cars so he chooses which cars he takes before we leave the house. Oh, and we talk to him all the time: about his food, the noise of that dropped fork, which car is doing what, colours of other diners' clothes... blah blah blah. Not loud parenting I wouldn't actually know how! But just chatter.

you need to go somewhere that has a play area or something, like Ikea! we take ds out all the time and if going for a proper meal we accept there will be some time spent exploring the venue. if it's just me with him then I will talk to him and he can be reasonably entertained by that till the food comes. some ideas - try a booster seat instead on high chair, more "grown up" always ask for her food to come asap, take some snacks to keep occupied, try sone other toys - playdoh mini pots quite a nice quiet table activity. visit poundshop straight before and buy a lucky bag so has a few bits to open. and honestly if you rarely get to see your friend and all else fails cbeebies app should work!

For us from what you describe to pleasant now at 3 it will pass
The. Key is still timing and speed of food delivery ie don't go anywhere where long waits are involved and be ready for them to eat at toddler lunch not leisurely lunch time!

Yes, it certainly gets better, v quickly in my experience. My advice would be to take whatever snacks she likes, to rock out at timely intervals. In terms of entertainment (stickers, small toys, colouring etc), aim for novelty, so if you can buy some small gift, from the pound shop or wherever, that you can suddenly whip out at lunch time, it can be the magic bullet!
My dd now at just shy of 3, is generally a star at lunches out. It helps that she loves eating out, sees it as a massive treat (and she does get drinks and desserts that she would not usually have). It's a real pleasure to eat out with her. So do persevere. This too shall pass - good luck!

Pizza express is the only place we can eat out. We ask for dough balls as we are being led to the table. Then I take dc for a wander outside while dh orders food. Then return for the dc to have dough balls, pizza, icecream, baby milk drink thing. Stickers everywhere. Crayons everywhere. Somewhere in the middle of that dh and I inhale one course. Then one of us leaves while the other pays the bill.

We are normally 40 mins max! I hate children wandering about in restaurants so that's a battle.

I have to say if you seen us we look the picture of a calm and contented family eating out. The kids behaviour was complemented by a member of staff last time. The reality is that we just head for the doors at the first signs of melt downs.

Oh, dc are 3.5 and 20mths.

Age 4 it got so much better.

We take colouring books & pens or a couple of small toys. We also have low expectations & don't hang around.

No iPad/phone. Personally I don't like seeing kids on them at meal times. It means we (have to) interact with him more but that's kind of the point of going to lunch together.

Ds is nearly three and it's getting much better we've always eaten out lots (think pizza express, McDonalds and cafes, nowhere posh) and he's gradually just got better at it. Always order food for them ASAP and ask the waiter to bring theirs as soon as it's ready. We bring lots of toy cars with us and I have episodes of postman pat downloaded on my phone just in case of emergency!

Totally agree with two, my DC were angels in restaurants until the terrible twos hit. They are now 3.5 and 5 and it is ok now. We usually go for a walk before we eat so they have used up a bit of energy. Take some colouring stuff. It gets easier.

I think it is a big ask for any child to sit in a high chair while adults are chatting.
Very boring .

I have taken my children out to restaurants since they were weeks old- but choosing the venue is very important.

Ordering then waiting 20 minutes for food is a recipe for disaster.

Quick service is essential- we found buffet restaurants the best of all- no waiting at all, frequent trips allowing the child to choose small portions and big variety.

M&S cafe is the only place I can take my 22mo. Mainly because it's full of lovely old ladies who will entertain her waving and chatting to them across the room. And she gets the little biscuits that come with our coffee.

But it's always brunch or afternoon tea. We don't do well with actual mealtimes anywhere. She was always lovely in restaurants as a baby but since 18 months it's generally been a horrible experience for everyone. We've just given up for now and will start trying again in a few months. Relieved to hear from this thread that it can get better!

We've so far not had a horrendous meal - ds is now 2.5. Coloring pencils and toy cars. Also enough hands on deck and usually a pub with room for dp or I to alternate walking him around.

For longer meals we invite people round or suggest to people its easier if in a home.

I usually though cheat on food take a few bits and bobs in case he won't eat whats on offer but rarely need to use it as he loves pasta, fish and chips and curry.

My DS is 19 months and we've been having nice meals out for a long time. Choosing the venue to be super child friendly and with interesting things to see helps a lot. (Another big thumbs up for Pizza Express - they go out of their way to provide colouring stuff, bring kids food first and quickly, end meals quickly if needed - and it's great fun for DS to watch the pizzas being made.) Also going out a lot just with DS so he learned the ropes of ordering, waiting, paying, etc while still receiving nearly all my attention. He will still struggle if I try to have a long adult conversation and don't talk plenty to him - but then so would I if expected to sit quietly for an hour while other people talked.

Dd is 16 months and I can take her out for meals, but I have to take supplies. I put together a bag of separate little boxes of toys/random crap for her to discover. She loves getting everything out of the boxes and finding out what's in there. I get one out at a time, and spread them out as much as possible. Included are items like old watches, old pots/tubes of moisteriser and the like, makeup brushes, stickers, puzzles etc.

Its a faff but it makes meals out actually enjoyable.

Some kids are fine with it, some aren't. It makes no difference how often you do it. Both my children have been at either end of the spectrum. And ds2 was taken out far more for lunch than ds1. And yet ds1 was impeccably behaved. Ds2 is a frickin' horror bag.

Luck of the draw on personality front I think, not how good a parent you are!

Thank you for saying that Detective - definitely luck of the draw as much as anything at such a young age.

Thanks everyone!! It's funny how much you can rush a meal in when you have a toddler! My friend couldn't believe how quickly I ate and all with one hand while juggling DD with the other! Can't remember the last time I used a knife when I've been out with my DD!!!
I'm sorry that so many of you are in the same situation, but it's great knowing that not all kids sit as good as gold as I seem to see so often!!!