Caused family upset by boys name choice - Help pls!!

[FeedTheBeast]

After much consideration we had decided on Jesse as the name if baby is a boy. I had suggested lots to DH & Jesse is the only one he really likes apart from Zac, which sounds like a sneeze when said with our surname Asher.

Asher is a old Hebrew name, one of the tribes of Israel and means to be happy / blessed. Isaac means to laugh which would give the name a lovely meaning but doesn't flow well - Isaac Asher / Zach Asher. (Also it is quite popular in our area)

Jesse is fab, old biblical name, cool snowboarder / surfer type guys spring to mind, and I also associate it with a kind wise old man character. It is a 'proper' name but uncommonly used, however we are in the North and it does have the slightly negative connotation of someone being a 'mummy's boy', which DH thinks is irrelevant & he said he would be happy if Jesse was his name.

The problem lies with my parents - my father is 70, & my mum has told my sister that he keeps having some sort of terrible funny turn / peculiar episode whenever he thinks of it, (he's recovering from a major op. too so feeling guilty of causing him distress) They both dislike it(understatement), & my mum keeps referring to a mummys boy character called Jesse in a soap she watches?? The rest of the family diapprove too but less bothered about them TBH (not keen on the names they picked for their LO's)

So my question is:
1)do we stick with it & everyone will get used to it? (& deal with the guilt if he's picked on later?)

2)Try & think of an alternative (any ideas??)

3. Bury head in sand & hope the bump is pink so we don't have the problem

Normally I would say that your parents had their chance to name their child and now it is your turn.

However, you state that you are in the North. I am from Scotland and know that naming a boy Jesse would be akin to inviting other children to ridicule your son. 'yer a right wee jessie' is something that he would hear regularly in Scotland.

Do you want a Hebrew name? I am sure there are lots of other names with fabulous meanings that would go well with your surname.

Stick with it and let everyone get used to it!!

I can't believe they think they have such a right to impose their wishes on this.

This is why I will never tell a soul what my name choices/preferences are until the baby is born and named...

Well, what you should have done is not discussed the name with anybody before the birth! But, I'd go for 1), your relatives will get over it.
Having said that, nobody (ok, just my mother)liked the name I had in mind for DD, so I wimped out and picked another name.

Jesse is a wonderful name and it's none of your parents' business, and very rude of them to disparage a name that you have chosen.
Your mistake was in telling them the name before the baby was here.

Don't change the name, but don't tell anyone that you have decided for definite, just fob them off with a 'we're not sure yet' until the baby is here.

I'm a northerner, I don't think 'Jessy' is a commonly used insult any more is it? More my parents generation really.

we are in Leeds so not that far north (like scotland), and I can't really remember the last time i heard the prase ya big jesse.

I decided to tell them the name now as i wanted them to be able to get their heads around it and not spoil the post birth time with any negativity re the name. (they would not be shy about letting me know their true feelings)

I asked my 10yr old nephew about teasing and he said he doesn't know of anyone who gets picked on for their name. I think there are so many different ones now compared to when i we were in school and it was only tom's and ben's etc. Would hate to lumber child with a burden of a name, and also worried it may get shortened to Jess, but would be ok with shortened to J(ay)

aargh....

How Northern are you, FeedTheBeast?

I am from Scotland and would not use the name Jesse.

XP.

Are your family worried about the teasing or do they just not like the name?

I just can't imagine my baby being called anything else really. You're right they will get used to it. Just felt guilty making my old dad feel so upset...

think that they think it is too girly and associated with being a wet blanket.

DH has just texted me "I like Jesse!"

he is a man' man and not soppy/soft at all, if he has no problem with it then that's good enough for me. they will all come round

They'll just have to get used to it, in my opinion. They'll soon change their mind when the baby's arrived, anyhow.

Central Scotland and Jesse would be a big no.

As an aside, I wanted to call DS Cosmo - DH's comment was along the line of "I have been a boy in a playground in Scotland and KNOW what that name would mean." Hence no Cosmo!

If you and your DH are sure it is the right name for you then go for it.

And don't mention it to anyone until after the baby is born.

They will get used to it.

But to answer the actual question - stuff them. Up to you and your DH, they will get used to it.

Do you actually know the baby is a boy? Could be a moot point if you're having the pink variety!

Stick to Jesse - it's the coolest boy's name ever. My youngest would have been a Jesse (and we had the same concerns as you - also in The North!)

I too think it's an older generations insult (excepting in Scotland, it seems)

I'm in Scotland, and calling someone a "Jessie" is a bit old fashioned. If someone wants to insult you here you're much more likely to be called a fcking cnt TBH!

I really wouldn't worry about it. Your parents will get used to it, your kid, your decision. If your dad hates it so much he keeps having funny turns when he hears it, he needs to get over himself frankly!

Personally I think it's lovely, even though it reminds me of the tragic (but thoroughly lovable) character Jesse from the TV show Breaking Bad.

Fact is that people will always find a reason to pick on someone's name if they want. DH is called John, the most innocuous bland name ever, but is from the US where his name is also a euphemism for the loo. Despite this there are still plenty of Johns in the US.

tbh I don't think it's very polite of your mum to lay on a guilt trip... it's not like you're naming your son Beelzebub, so it seems harsh to make out that it's giving your dad funny turns at a time when you are already naturally worried about his health. apologies if it's really the kind of thing that would affect his health, but it sounds like your mum is exaggerating a wee bit because she doesn't like it herself! again, sorry if this isn't the case, no disrespect intended.

If you and dh are convinced that the name won't cause any trouble for your little boy, then I don't see why you shouldn't use it. Unless your family have got any better suggestions! I do think it's best to run names by close family just in case it turns out to be - for example - the name of someone's first husband who nobody talks about, but equally, as long as it's not going to scar the child, I think family should allow for differences in taste.

Makes me think of Jesse James, the King of the West - hardly a big girls blouse.

Jesse Jackson
Jesse Owen

lol at "I'm in Scotland, and calling someone a "Jessie" is a bit old fashioned. If someone wants to insult you here you're much more likely to be called a fcking cnt TBH!"

Stick with what you like. I do like zach though, Zach Asher sounds fine to me.

Forgot to say MIL didn't like one of our DDs names (we still used it) and my mum/sister really didn't like one of our DS names. It put me off abit and made me abit uneasy and question it but we still went with it and they have got used to it now. No regrets.

Agree with Hildegarde. Think your mum is being really manipulative about this - I really can't see how it's such an offensive name that it would actually affect someone's health.

I wouldn't worry about the teasing aspect, but if it's really playing on your mind why not give him a middle name - then if your DS turns out to not like being called Jesse for whatever reason then he's got a second option.