Caused family upset by boys name choice - Help pls!!

[FeedTheBeast]

After much consideration we had decided on Jesse as the name if baby is a boy. I had suggested lots to DH & Jesse is the only one he really likes apart from Zac, which sounds like a sneeze when said with our surname Asher.

Asher is a old Hebrew name, one of the tribes of Israel and means to be happy / blessed. Isaac means to laugh which would give the name a lovely meaning but doesn't flow well - Isaac Asher / Zach Asher. (Also it is quite popular in our area)

Jesse is fab, old biblical name, cool snowboarder / surfer type guys spring to mind, and I also associate it with a kind wise old man character. It is a 'proper' name but uncommonly used, however we are in the North and it does have the slightly negative connotation of someone being a 'mummy's boy', which DH thinks is irrelevant & he said he would be happy if Jesse was his name.

The problem lies with my parents - my father is 70, & my mum has told my sister that he keeps having some sort of terrible funny turn / peculiar episode whenever he thinks of it, (he's recovering from a major op. too so feeling guilty of causing him distress) They both dislike it(understatement), & my mum keeps referring to a mummys boy character called Jesse in a soap she watches?? The rest of the family diapprove too but less bothered about them TBH (not keen on the names they picked for their LO's)

So my question is:
1)do we stick with it & everyone will get used to it? (& deal with the guilt if he's picked on later?)

2)Try & think of an alternative (any ideas??)

3. Bury head in sand & hope the bump is pink so we don't have the problem

Is it possible for a name to produce a funny turn?

Jeez, I thought my mum was bad enough-when baby was born and we told her the name she outright said she didn´t like it!

No,mum, we´re not asking your opinion,we are introducing your grandchild to you.

Then of course, the first person she told-oh what a lovely name, how unusual.

So she did like it afterall

Well,I think it´s a great name, and if you love it, use it.

Am in Leeds and have rarely heard "jessie" used as an insult here so think he will be fine - if it is a he. My mum hates my ds's name and I am expecting all sorts of ridicule and nasty comments from her when we announce dc2's name (due in May) so I feel your frustration!

Zach sounds great, Jesse not so sure - it lends itself to being called a big Jesse in later years.

my dd wants to call her baby OAKLEY but my parents do not like it, but all i can say is your baby your choice.

I think your Mum might be laying it on a bit, too - one could be tempted to say that your Dad is a bit of a jessie for reacting so to a name, but I won't since he is recovering from an op, and clearly not himself.

I do think they are being very unfair though.

I think calling someone a jessie is very much an old fashioned insult.
Its a good name, if you both like it then do it!

My Grandma is always critical of baby names. She said I named my DS after a dog and still rarely calls him by his name.
When I told her my DDs name (Elizabeth) I thought she wouldnt be able to complain about that, but no she replied with "ohh I hope you're not going to call her Lizzy" with a horrible grimace on her face. Gah! cant win!
She's never had an "episode" about a baby name but I wouldnt put it past her in the future!!

I don't think Zac Asher sounds worse than Jesse Asher TBH. Certainly neither are less sneeze like than the other.

My SIL called her son Phoenix.
I have a Felix.
I look after Phoenix from time to time.
I hate the name Phoenix (but I like Felix weird only one sound different)
People give me weird looks when I call for Felix and Phoenix like I couldn't think of another sound to use for my second boy.
I think Phoenix is a girly name for a boy. (not that this matters)
He is 2 now
I still hate it for above reason.
It prevents me using his name in public.
She has told me there is no nn that I am allowed to use.
I call him baby( except he isn't anymore)
Listen to your family.
Its a long time to live with it.
If they are just not keen then thats one thing but if it causes them embarrassment thats another. You need to make a judgement about that.
FWIW I like Jesse.

Thank you all for your replies. I think we will now avoid the topic with family and then when the baby arrives (only 3 weeks ish now ) 1) see if the baby is a boy and 2) if he suits it.

My mum can be a total nightmare with getting a shitty on about things that don't suit her, but TBH i don't like the names she chose for me or my sisters either! And there are not that many names she doesn't take a dim view of, so guess it's to be expected. And my dad will love the baby for who he or she is, not what they are called, and will get used to the name.

Well, feel much better now! Thank you!

Our surname is similar to yours and although I've always loved the names Isaac and Zachary (aka Zach/Zack/Zak) we felt they didn't work with the surname, especially Isaac. I think Jesse is a brilliant name (Gabriel, Jude, Nathaniel and Reuben would be my other suggestions).

With regard to your mother, it does sound like she's using your father's ill-health to try and dissuade you from using Jesse. If your dc turns out to be a boy and you do go for Jesse you could always suggest they use his middle name if they really can't bring themselves to respect your choice of first name.

don't know about all this jesse business (i'm down south) but its a nice name and if you botjh like it thats all that matters.. NO ONE and i mean NO ONE liked the name we picked for dd before she was born but funnily enough everyone now loves it

I think you can get away with Jesse now. I like it.
But tell your mum; okay you've seen sense, your new DS will be called Wally.

Just go for the name you like. I didn't like the name my sister chose for my nephew (Arthur) but as soon as he was born it became his name and I like it because it is part of him.

it's your business, and imo the big jessie thing is a bit old-fashioned up in scotland. of course he'd be teased up here for about five mins, but so what?

My mum doesnt like our name choice for a boy either..

When I said We like Matthew for a boy her reply was, well I dont. (most put out by it)

My reply TOUGH!

She keeps suggesting alternatives but WE will name OUR baby what WE want... She had her chance with us

I don't really like the name Jesse, prefer Isaac, and I think the only way to prevent
any name sounding like a sneeze is to change your surname -- all that being said, your mum sounds like a lot of hard work. TBH, I suspect if it wasn't the baby's name she was complaining about, it would be something else. I vote for sticking with the name you and DH like just out of the principle that it's your baby.

Stick with it, my folks (78, 80) have not liked my names for both dd and ds. 1st time they just said nothing which was hurtful, especially as the name was just a femine version of dh's name. Second time they got right in there and said awful things. Ds is only 8 months now, it's hard enough with a newborn without your own parents not just saying well done and great name (they could be nice and lie, but mine would never dream of that).

But, you know I think it's a generational thing, and jealously that it's your turn now. I like both Jesse and Zac, I agree that Zac asher sounds just fine.

It's you baby, by the time you've given birth to her/him, you'll have certainly earned to use the name of your choice.

Your parents are wrong to lay the guilt-trip which is why you just need to present them with the baby and the name together at the same time.

However, to me, Jesse Asher is a bit of a slushy mouthful, keep saying Jesshy Asser! (sorry)

Zac or Isaac with its crisper sound flows much better.

!

My ds has a child in his class called Jesse but pronounced Jess. He seems to be a popular child and I've never heard anyone comment on his name at all.

agree with heated, i think zach sounds better than jesse. jesse asher sounds like you've been drinking.

Def. a generational thing. My initial thoughts were "oh thats a nice name but would they get called 'a right jessie' ?"
However I have just asked my dc 14 and 11. They said it was a cool name and talked about someone called Jesse McCartney who is apparently a "fit" singer.
We are also in 't north!

STICK WITH IT!

Jesse is a really lovely name, and if you like it that is what matters. don't let other poeople sway you or you'll really regret it!

I live on the border of yorkshire/cumbria and people here have a very strong sense of 'right' and 'wrong' according to how children (boys particularly) are brought up. One guy at work wouldn't allow his wife to work in the last few weeks of pregnancy because she worked in cumbria and he wanted to make sure their baby was a 'proper yorkshire lad' - couldn't possibly risk her going into labour across the border!!!
That said, I don't think I have EVER heard anyone use the term Jesse to mean 'mummies boy' and we live in a boarding school where all sorts of teasing happens. It was definitely something that was limited to our parents generation in this area.
We had a lot of trouble choosing DS name because Dh's family insisted that we should use their family name (we didn't). They were very vocal about it before the birth, and tried to pull all the guilt trips about granny not having long left/would mean so much to grandpa (deceased) but once he was born and we announced the name everyone got over it.
There was a suggestion from MiL that we should take a family name for second child, but we simply announced that we had already chosen another name and that seems to have settled it.