If Mumsnet had a baby.......

[Celestia26]

Just that really, a bit of fun!
So if Mumsnet had a baby what would it be called...?
I think a girl would be Ottilie and a boy would be Reuben. These seem to be universally loved on Mumsnet and are suggested loads!
Any other ideas?

Tyler and Jamie-Leigh. No, petronella and tarquin

Romilly. Beloved on here, yet to actual meet one.

Oh and DD’s middle name was Ottilie and Reuben was our front runner for a boy. God I’m such a cliche.

Sorry DD’s middle name IS Ottilie. We haven’t changed it due to ridicule or anything like that...

I would have thought Ottillie definitely but Ralphie/Rafe for boy?

Probably Kitty or Thea
Seemingly universally loved but I’m not keen

Boy hmm

Troubled Lichen they are lovely names, hence why they are always suggested!

Calliope or Hector.

The baby would wear Frugi. Be slinged. Exclusively Bfed and co sleep. They would sit in an IKEA highchair.

Definitely Arabella for a girl. God I hate that name.

Haha Napqueen. I like it! They would wear a baby vest saying "Breast milk in my tum, worn by my mum, cloth on my bum." Believe it or not I have actually seen these in real life!

The Mumsnet baby would just be known as “Baby” or “Bean” for the first month, as it’s impossible to find a suitable name during the nine months of pregnancy, and sheer folly to choose anything without putting it to the Mumsnet jury first ...

Ottilie isn’t universally loved. It’s a total marmite name!

The Mumsnet baby will eventually be given a name that is unusual but not uneek, possibly a name that hasn’t been heard since nineteenth century bible-bashing times.
Although the name will be quite ugly, everyone will acclaim it and say they’ll be putting it on their list if ever they have another child.
The name will never reach the top of anyone’s list, however, and the baby’s mother will start a thread ten months later saying she has Name Regret and wishes she had called the baby Evie-Mae.

Beatrice seems to be quite popular on here, as well as Matilda and Penelope 💖

Quinoa for a girl.

Avocado for a boy.

The OP would express a desire to use a unisex name and a debate would ensue as to whether a boy could be called Harper or a girl could be called Ellis. Someone would say Jayden was chavvy.

The OP would eventually settle on Taylor.

A girl would be Tabitha or Thea. Much loved on here for some reason. I've never met a human one of either & I hate both names.

They wouldn’t need a cloth nappy because he/she would be so advanced that they’d be potty-trained within the week, and then would be doing advanced calculus for fun, while translating Mandarin into Urdu.

Persephone and Sebastian

Twins called Ophelia and Xanthe 🙄

Elodie was very popular when I joined last autumn!

Ptolemy and Peregrine
Jocasta and Araminta.
At a pinch, Inigo and Sylvia.

Clarissa or Persephone for a girl, Rufford or Giles for a boy.

They would be EBF, only wear taupe, terracotta or burnt sienna coloured clothes, the family cat would be called Dorothy Wordsworth.

Growing up they would eat a lot of pesto pasta while secretly yearning for spam fritters.

Loving everyone's replies, hilarious! This baby is starting to get a personality too, not just a name! 😂

Nappynet not a runner?

Given that its surname would probably be Net, and in keeping with the theme of mumsnet, gransnet, dadsnet, Babynet could be a possibility too. None of that Persephone, Ottilie, Hector or Oscar nonsense. Stick with tradition or else Dads, Mums and Grans will be highly offended and have to take to posting in aibu about their rude dd or dil who have gone off piste with naming their new offspring and how dare they reject the generations of Nets that have gone before them.

Balonz lol