WWYD sensitive subject

[UnicornPee]

We are due our 3rd an final baby,a girl.
My DH mother died suddenly and unexpectedly this year.
He has told me he wants our babies middle name to be her name. I haven't replied to this and I think he assumes that's fine.
However, here's where I need WWYD opinions.
I wasn't close to his mother. I wasn't a huge fan of her. Obviously I'm sad she died don't get me wrong. But I don't feel that much of a connection to want to give my last child her name as a middle name.
If I go with my gut I am dreading telling my DH.

WWYD?
A) go with what I want and give her my own choice lovely middle name

B) respect my DH wishes and give her the middle name of his late mum

[Sugarpiehoneyeye]

Could you tell us the name OP.
Maybe there is a very pretty shortening of it.

[WordGetsAround]

Of course you should use her name. You'd have to veto it if your DH wants to use it. Why would you do that?

[groovygreenwichgirl]

Of course you have to use it, she is his daughter too!

I would be slightly more empathetic if he wanted it as a first name but I'm really surprised you're considering going against his wishes for a middle name.

[AppleCanoe]

You really must use it, it is your husband's child too, and your daughter will appreciate that special family connection to her late grandmother when she is older.

[Branleuse]

id use the name. Its only a middle name

[InstantMom]

Use the name. It's a middle name unlikely to be used often anyway. Fwiw I have a dc with two middle names and it's fine so you could always use two if you really wanted

[KlingybunFistelvase]

I'd use it.

My mum died suddenly and unexpectedly a year before we had DD and my DH was the one who suggested we use my mum's name as a MN. Is it my favourite name? No. does it particularly go with our surname or my DD's first name? Again, not really! But it meant a lot to me as well as to other family members that DH was thinking of her, even though they weren't all that close. If your DH wants to use it, I really don't know why you wouldn't. She was his mum after all.

There is such a fixation these days on choosing the prettiest / coolest / most original name. Really, it doesn't matter that much. If it will be hurtful to your DH to not use the name and, as you recognise it is a sensitive subject, then what really is the harm in you not getting to use the name you have decided is prettiest / coolest? Basically, how important is a middle name choice to you compared with how important it is to him to remember his mum in this way? I can't imagine wanting to override my DH's choice in this matter.

This is the second thread on here this week where a mother wants to override their OH on name choices when there is a decent and potentially sensitive reason for the OH's choice. I'm totally baffled by this attitude.

[HairsprayBabe]

What is the name?

Is it a nice enough name on its own anyway? If so use it, you will only call your daughter by her first name for the vast majority of the time so it won't affect your day to day life.

You could always use a variation or diminutive of the name if it will go better with your DD's first name.

[Kel1234]

I would give her the name. As others have said it will be difficult to have a good reason not to. And not many people even use their middle name (I don't have one, but if I did I'd hardly use it)

[busyrascal]

Two middle names.

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

Use the name he wants.

[IDreamOfPeace]

Use your MIL's name. Add a second middle name too if it'll make you feel better but don't deny him this.