WWYD sensitive subject

[UnicornPee]

We are due our 3rd an final baby,a girl.
My DH mother died suddenly and unexpectedly this year.
He has told me he wants our babies middle name to be her name. I haven't replied to this and I think he assumes that's fine.
However, here's where I need WWYD opinions.
I wasn't close to his mother. I wasn't a huge fan of her. Obviously I'm sad she died don't get me wrong. But I don't feel that much of a connection to want to give my last child her name as a middle name.
If I go with my gut I am dreading telling my DH.

WWYD?
A) go with what I want and give her my own choice lovely middle name

B) respect my DH wishes and give her the middle name of his late mum

[InterchangeableEmma]

Use the name. Use yours too. Firstname Yourname MILsname Surname.

[AllPowerfulLizardPerson]

Definitely use the name your DH wants in the middle for what is also his final baby and which honours his mother.

[OfGurls]

If you really don't want to, is there any name she liked, that you know of, any name she didn't use for a daughter she never had or anything?
Any of her role models names?

[memyselfandaye]

Did she have a middle name?

[Blu]

Yes, use the name. And use your chosen middle name, too.

[Blu]

Your poor DH, still grieving and knowing his Mum will not know his unborn child. It must be a huge thing for him.

[RNBrie]

Two middle names.

[user1471950254]

It obviously means a lot to your partner so using his Mum's middle name is the right thing to do

[seven201]

Definitely b.

My mum died a couple of years before my dd was born. It meant the world to me that she had my mum's middle name. It's just a middle name so make your husband happy.

[AlmaMartyr]

Use the name. Honestly I wouldn't even think about it.

[Patriciathestripper1]

Give her the name and one of your own if you feel the need.

[NerrSnerr]

I agree with the others, use her name. It's your husband's baby too, it sounds like you want full choice on baby name.

[GinIsIn]

Clearly use the name - nobody uses a middle name anyway so it will mean nothing to most people but everything to your DH. Why should your own choice matter more than his choice - it's his baby too, and I think it would be unkind not to. Can't you use both middle names?

[SleepyRoo]

I would use the name.

[OhTheRoses]

I can't actually believe you are asking op. Your DD is your DH's child, she is one quarter your MIL, who is on half your DH. It's a middle name, negotiate the bigger say over the first name. And never ever mention this again. Just be thrilled.

[cmxx]

I would use two middle names. Its how SO and I compromised for our future daughters middles. I wanted to use my great-grandmothers name, then he mentioned his mother would love to use the name she was going to give her daughter that she miscarried. He understands it's not her choice, but he wants to make her happy in the same way I want to make mine happy (we're people pleasers, yes!). Turns out the combination is beautiful and I can't wait to have my daughter to use it on her.

I understand as this is your last child you want to give her her own name but it would be quite special for her to share a name with her grandmother, it may make her feel connected to her even though they never met. Also, she's as much your DH's daughter as yours, so you really need to talk about it asap.

[SpareASquare]

I would absolutely use it.
Was not at all fond of my MIL but know I'd have used the name if I found myself in the same scenario.

[Lollollollol]

I'd use it. It's just a middle name.

[rainbow99]

I would use it as a second middle name

[blinkineckmum]

Isn't this exactly what middle names are for? Use it.

[ExitPursuedBySpartacus]

You'll be someone's MIL one day.

If you're lucky.

[PoldarksBreeches]

Blimey. I'm shocked that you would even think about refusing to do this. You pick the first name and his mum's is the middle name. To insist on choosing your own middle name instead would be extremely cruel.

[Bubbinsmakesthree]

I hope it's just clumsy wording as you make it sound like this is your call. It's not, it's a joint decision.

Unless your MIL was an awful person who made your life an absolute misery then use the middle name.

For your DD as well it will be nice to have middle name with meaning rather than just one which sounds lovely. Middle names are never used in day-to-day life so the symbolism is far more important than whether you like the name or not.

Two middle names is a perfectly good option if there is a name you are keen on.

[CharliePurple]

Use the name, it's the kindest thing to do for your husband and your daughter will grow up knowing she has a connection to the grandmother that she wasn't able to see. Your daughter isn't just your baby.

[TobleroneBoo]

Even if MILname wasn't in the question, it shouldn't be " go with the name I want" it should be a joint decision

It is asking literally nothing of you