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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think they really should just stop?

147 replies

GreenMonkies · 01/09/2009 21:48

The Duggers who else? Baby #19 is on the way.....

Michelle and Jim-Bob, it's not a clown car.......

OP posts:
Morloth · 02/09/2009 10:22

Meh, she isn't asking me to have 19 kids so they should do what suits them. The kids all look well cared for, fed, loved etc. There are worse things than belonging to a big family.

The carbon thing doesn't really work either, there is a growing Childfree movement in the West (which is just as valid as having 19 IMO). So it all works out.

GreenMonkies · 02/09/2009 12:32

See, the whole Quiverful/religious contraception thing is one of the things that bothers me. She breastfeeds her babies for only a few months, then stops "to allow her fertility to return". If they were truely leaving it in the hands of god she would breastfeed for as long as god/nature intends, which means she would not be fertile for around 6-12 months, so she would have fewer children and bigger age gaps.

OP posts:
PlumBumMum · 02/09/2009 12:43

As someonelse said each to their own,
but I thinkI would like to be stepping back and looking forward to my grandchildren, shes going to be a granny next month!

Mrs Boogie that was my first thought what happens when they are all sick etc.....that would be tough,
I found it tough when 2 of mine got chicken pox one after the other!!

juuule · 02/09/2009 12:50

YABU

Good luck to them.
They all look well and happy and going off the programmes they have quite a rich and varied life.
I think Mrs. Duggar is looking really well in her photos so having all these children must agree with her.

Morloth · 02/09/2009 12:53

You don't mind then when people criticise the number of children you have GreenMonkies? You don't mind when they talk about how you don't breastfeed them for the correct period of time and don't parent them properly? Cause if it is OK for you to have an opinion on what Michelle Duggar does with her body and children then presumably it is OK for her (or anyone else) to have an opinion on what you do?

The children are not being abused, it isn't the way I choose to live. End of.

juuule · 02/09/2009 12:56

Apparently one of the indicators for her that she was pregnant was that the baby (8months?) was getting fussy when being bfed.So it seems her fertility has returned while she is still bfing the youngest.

LadyStealthPolarBear · 02/09/2009 13:01

juuule, when i saw this i wondered what you thought!
rather her than me - how on earth do they cope?

illgetyoubutler · 02/09/2009 13:04

all the best to them.

Northernlurker · 02/09/2009 13:08

Of course one hopes this will go well for them and there's no doubting the love in the family - BUT pregnancy puts a huge strain on a woman's body and 19 children is surely too many for a woman to bear and preserve her usual life expectancy. Michelle really needs to get a grip and start taking care of herself for the children she already has.

juuule · 02/09/2009 13:11

Well the last program I saw of her she was going out on horseback with some of the children.
I don't get the feeling that she's neglecting her health.
But I don't know her personally so maybe she is pretending

Morloth · 02/09/2009 13:14

Lots of things shorten your life expectancy.

Skiing is pretty dangerous, driving can get you killed quick. Eating too much junk food isn't a great idea, smoking, drinking etc.

What other people do with their bodies is their business. How come this is all always directed at Michelle, why doesn't her husband cop the same pressure?

juuule · 02/09/2009 13:16

Ladystealth - I might be a little bit of her

Morloth · 02/09/2009 13:23

I am a little jealous of Angelina, I would absolutely have a houseful of adopted/bio-kids if I could afford a nice big house (or two!) and someone to do the drudge work. Would be excellent.

However, I don't begrudge anyone their lovely houses and all their kid's - good luck to them if it makes them happy.

MorrisZapp · 02/09/2009 13:24

Morloth, if you make a reality show based upon your non-conventional lifestyle then I'd say that yes, you are exposing your beliefs and choices to public comment.

So for that reason, I think we are all allowed an opinion on this. Of course they aren't 'hurting anybody', though we could debate all day about the quality of upbringing a child who is one of 19 could realistically expect.

Personally, I think the world is overcrowded already and that having a family of this size is self indulgent, though I shouldn't imagine that they give a hoot for my opinion.

Good luck to them indeed, but there is a debate to be had about large families and the fact that they aren't hurting me is neither here nor there.

Morloth · 02/09/2009 13:26

Agree MorrisZapp but by discussing them on a messageboard the OP opens herself up to the same questions.

jellybeans · 02/09/2009 13:28

I like them, nice kids (from what I have seen of them on TV etc). I would worry, though, about multiple births and c sections (I think she has had 3 but not sure). She also has had 2 or 3 sets of twins, could be triplets next?

largeginandtonic · 02/09/2009 13:33

Juule i am a bit too

She looks blardy fantastic having had so many children. They lead a very healthy lifestyle and pregnancy obviously agrees with her.

Mamazon · 02/09/2009 13:35

Now my initial reaction is that they are happy and healthy and are not in debt to anyone so whats it got to do with anyone but them.

BUT - i am the eldest of 10 children. it is bloody hard work and i do wonder whether all the children do get as much time and affection as they should.

now im not saying they are neglected in any way shape or form. just that maybe they are missing out on some aspects of family life because they are expected and encouraged to act as responsible members of the family from a young age.

NOw its not all a bad thing. i am a strong independant person due to the fact that i was raised to help out and learnt alot about being a grown up from an early age. im far more able than many of my friends.

but i know that i often wished there were less of us growing up...and there were half of us compared to teh Duggans.

stellamel · 02/09/2009 14:12

My friend is the second youngest of 13 and can't remember ever being told 'I love you' by his mum or dad, never got cuddled and was pretty much brought up by his older brother who he is very close to. They also lived in a 3 bed house!! My friend is a seriously disfunctional man who has major problems forming relationships.

...But that is one person, maybe the Duggers kids are all well adjusted and feel loved equally, who knows

stellamel · 02/09/2009 14:13

I meant duggans oops

stellamel · 02/09/2009 14:14

or possibly even Duggars

crazylizzy · 02/09/2009 14:18

I have very mixed feeling on this topic. I watched their documentary many times over the years. They have a "buddy system" where the eldest sibling cares for the younger one, the 2nd eldest for the 2nd youngest etc. It's a big responsibility for children to have IMO. They also live very, very old-fashioned almost, where the girls do all/most of the washing and cooking and the boys do the manual work around the house.

They are against birth control as Mrs Duggar was on the pill years ago and she had a miscarriage which she put down to an effect of being on the pill.

Saying that, they do come across as very loving and genuinely caring people, and yes, I am jealous in some ways

Check out their house! Climbing wall, canteen style kitchen, drinks on tap, giant slide....

www.duggarfamily.com/photos.html

largeginandtonic · 02/09/2009 14:18

Thats a shame Stella

I have 7 andi sincerely hope my lot are happy to be in a big family. There are plenty of 'I love you's'and cuddles here.

Even if i had any more children (Im not ) i hope i would treat them all the same.

ComeOVeneer · 02/09/2009 14:24

I love the way he says they live frugally, yet photos of them taken in NY, Yosemeti Park, Grand Cannon etc, and have you seen their house????? Bet they get paid a bucket load for the shows, articles etc!

UnquietDad · 02/09/2009 14:31

I thought DW's brother was bad enough giving four of them all names beginning with the same letter.

"Jordyn"

snort.