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AIBU?

to think they really should just stop?

147 replies

GreenMonkies · 01/09/2009 21:48

The Duggers who else? Baby #19 is on the way.....

Michelle and Jim-Bob, it's not a clown car.......

OP posts:
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southeastastra · 02/09/2009 14:33

who are they then?

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Nancy66 · 02/09/2009 14:40

Each to their own and yes they all look like healthy kids etc - but it seems like there's an element of attention seeking in there.
Having kids has become the mother's 'thing' it's what has made her famous and what gets her noticed.
The house is run like a military academy and the older kids miss out on their youth because they end up being carers and babysitters for the younger ones.
I certainly think the parents are being selfish and care more about their fame than the effects of having a big family.

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UnquietDad · 02/09/2009 14:41

I bet they love it when people ask "haven't you worked out what's causing it yet?"

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expatinscotland · 02/09/2009 14:42

If you ever lived in America any length of time, you'd find these kinds of fundamentalism and their prevalence, the celebration of them and the influence they have on the making of policy affecting millions of people, you'd find families like the Duggars frightening.

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Eve4Walle · 02/09/2009 14:52

How do they find the time to make a baby anyhow? Privacy muct be pretty hard to come by in their house (no pun intended).

Persoanlly, I think that it's wrong to have that many children. My Granny came from a family with 11 kids in it and that seems bad enough.

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LadyStealthPolarBear · 02/09/2009 15:38

actually that's a good point - I'm all and yet I think my Grandma was one of 13 - so that was only the 1930s/1940s - doesn't seem that extreme any more really.

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Pikelit · 02/09/2009 15:50

Hmmmmmm. For starters I remain entirely unsurprised at the associated Godbothering. But am I the only person who got "Shades of the Workhouse" from the picture of those teenager girls sorting the laundry?

I know someone who had 12 (living) children and it'd become a compulsion to reproduce. In fairness, they had the income and house to support everyone in comfort but the family dynamics were peculiar and they never came across AS a family given the sheer numbers and practicalities. The older children in particular, were very helpful but still resented spending their own growing up years as a childcare service to the little ones.

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TheDMshouldbeRivened · 02/09/2009 15:58

where does she gte the energy from for shaggging!?
I quite like the discipline her kids live under to be honest.

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TheDMshouldbeRivened · 02/09/2009 15:59

and health insurance? How much does Mr Dugger earn ffs to cover insurance for 19 kids!

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slug · 02/09/2009 16:00

Have mixed feelings about this one. Without wanting to give too much away, I grew up in a family where the children numbered in double figures.

I didn't have a childhood in the way my DD has one. I learnt very early how to change nappies, cook, clean and care for children. In some ways this is a good thing. I was under no illusions about how difficult the early weeks of a baby would be for example. However, while this is a good education if you are being primed to be a mother, it sucks if you are missing out on all the other parts of childhood because you are caring for your younger siblings.

It may be worth noting that of all my siblings, only one got married in our twenties, none of us had children before we hit our thirties, and, while the maximum number of children we have had each does not exceed 3, I happen to know for each of those, at least one was an unplanned pregnancy.

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juuule · 02/09/2009 16:52

Pikelit So how many children does someone have to have for you to associate it with 'godbothering'?

Slug Sorry to hear that you didn't have a good experience within your large family. Maybe if your experience is typical then the Duggar's children won't follow in their parent's footsteps with regard to how many children they have. Or it could be that their family set up is very different from yours and their experiences within a large family was more positive.

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expatinscotland · 02/09/2009 16:54

My grandfather was one of 17, 15 of whom made it to adulthood. He was the eldest of the boys.

My gran had to work on him for 2 years before he agreed to have any children at all.

Difference is that he grew up in grinding poverty, I guess.

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Pikelit · 02/09/2009 16:55

I wouldn't be prescriptive about numbers, juule. But I am unsurprised nonetheless.

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PlumBumMum · 02/09/2009 16:59

Not to take away from them, they did build that house but it was finished off by Extreme makeover, Home Edition, if anyone has ever seen that

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PlumBumMum · 02/09/2009 17:02

Hence climbing wall and slide etc

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oldraver · 02/09/2009 17:04

I was perusing their website a while ago and she did say the pregnancies were having a negative effect on her health Plus their health insurance (I'm surprised someone will provide it) are trying to insist on CS for her latest pg's where she tries to go for vaginal deliveries. She was saying that they are a little upset this is happeneing

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stepaway · 02/09/2009 17:17

I think they (parents) are selfish.

LewisFan, you asked are they hurting anyone? I'd say they are hurting at least some of their 19 children. I do not believe that it is possible to have that many children and give ALL of them the attention they need and deserve.

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TheDMshouldbeRivened · 02/09/2009 17:33

they all seemed loved and cared for. Children don't need to be smothered like ones and two's are.

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Morloth · 02/09/2009 17:41

stepaway try to think of a reason for having any number of children that doesn't start with "I/We wanted".

Having children is always selfish.

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abra1d · 02/09/2009 17:44

'are they hurting anyone? '

The planet.
We are running out of food and water.

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weegiemum · 02/09/2009 17:51

The only thing I worry about is their daughters.

they are reknowned "quiverfull" people, and this encourages women to be homemakers (never have a career), to have as many children as God "blesses" them with and to allow their husband to be the "head" of the household.

Notice in the "chores" bit on her blog it is girls sorting the laundry.

I'm a (fairly) evangelical CHristian and I think the theology behind this sort of thing is deeply flawed.

As they are (Christian) fundamentalist home educators, what do you think the girls are being taught in terms of their role, and the boys in terms of their wife's role. Doubtless it is all also creationism and anti science. DO you think they get accureate sex/relationship/science education.

Some of you might say that is for the parents. I think that in this situation, there is a lot to be said for some kind of outside influence on this family.

I might be offensive, I don't know, but I worry about these kind of situations.

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GreensleevesFlouncedLikeAKnob · 02/09/2009 17:56

look at some of the links/resources from their website

James Dobson, for one

they are scary scary people

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MorrisZapp · 02/09/2009 17:57

I worry too for exactly those reasons weegiemum.

It's as if they want enough kids to have a separate community of their own.

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weegiemum · 02/09/2009 17:58

James "spare the rod and spoil the child" Dobson?

Terrifying!!

(disclaimer: none of the many evangelical CHristian parents that I know smack their children. I suspect that in the US, this is not the case).

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2kidzandi · 02/09/2009 18:07

I love the idea! If I had the right circumstances I'd love a large family! And I admire their routine, what's sinsister about being organized with the chores? Children should be taught to help out.

But then I loved watching the Waltons.....

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