To think that we should be able to get out on time in the morning?

[doggiesayswoof]

I would really appreciate some blunt advice about my morning routine ? or lack thereof.

I am late leaving the house nearly every morning now, most days I scrape into the office just in time, sometimes if the traffic is bad I am late.

DH is SAHD and he takes DD to nursery, DS goes along for the ride. DD is late most mornings too.

This is what we do:

6.45 - All get up, DH takes dog out, feeds dog, makes breakfast. I get DC dressed.

7.15-7.35 or so - we eat breakfast. DC both take ages to eat.

Then back upstairs, DH and I both need to get showered and ready, kids need to get teeth brushed and faces washed. This should take 25 mins so we are ready for 8am. This is where it really falls apart. The DC fight, need supervision. They are picking up on the stress I think and become very demanding of our attention when we are trying to get ready. The puppy chews the carpet and needs to be put in her crate. All these interventions take time.

So this morning DH and DC left at 8.25 and I still wasn't ready (had to dry my hair etc) and left at 8.40. I'm supposed to be out at 8.10.

We could all get up earlier. But DC get very grumpy if we do this (and if DH and I try and get up before them, they always wake up)

This is driving me to distraction and I know it doesn't have to be like this!! Help.

Imo you need to get up and dressed and completely ready before you get the dc up.

Then once they are up, all you have to do is give them breakfast and supervise dressing etc.

Agree with nervousnutty. Also, do you use Cbeebies for the children in the morning? I find the e-babysitter gives me the necessary support to get my jobs done.

I agree with nutty you need to get up first get sorted before they get up
or what dh and I do is he gets ready while I give the children breakfast and then we swap over and I get ready
that way we aren't rushing them over breakfast

Do you have to eat breakfast all together?

Our routine (minus the dog, which messes up yours a bit I think!) is basically:

1 parent in shower, then getting breakfast ready, other one getting kids up (and dressed if they'll let us).

1 parent supervising breakfast while other showers, then finish breakfast all together (DSs also slow).

We get up at around 6.45 but DH usually leaves the house at 8 for a train. I usually leave at 8.15 (can't be late, am teacher).

I actually find it harder on the days when we supposedly have more time, if I shower once the DS have had their breakfast there is fighting like in your house.

I don't think you need telly and I think it would be very hard to get your DC out of the house if you start it.

Am not die-hard anti-tv btw, ours watch plenty of it, especially when we are making dinner and tired in the evening but I don't like it as a start to the day and I know if I started watching I would find it hard to turn it off.

We take a child each and make sure they get dressed and eat before they are allowed to do anything else.

Also agree with Nutty, we are always showered and dressed before we start on the DCs. IME getting up earlier doesn't make much difference.

Also laying out DCs clothes the night before and doing lunches if you need them all means there is less to do in the morning.

Also, could the dog wait until after the nursery run?

You have my sympathies, mornings are a nightmare!

To be honest I use it as a bribe. No-one is allowed to watch until they are completely ready to leave the house, which normally means I have 4 dressed and fed children, holding their bags and sat on the sofa at 8.00 ready to watch their tv.

telly makes it worse in our house too so the rule is telly can go on if they are ready to leave and have spare time

This is my routine, for me and 3 dc.

6:45 - I get up, wash, dress and do make-up

7:00 - Get dc up and we all go downstairs for breakfast.

7:30 - Back upstairs to supervise teeth brushing, getting dressed etc. I do dd2's hair and quickly straighten mine.

We are then all normally ready by 8am, and so then wash up, whilst the kids potter about.

At 8:15 they have to check they have everything they need and at 8:20 we leave.

Bluntly - If he is SAHD he should sort out kids, you should get ready and leave on time whatever - that's what happens for most SAHMs. My DH leaves before my 3 children get up. They get up at 7, all of us out of house at 8 - no problems.

No TV in the morning. DD wouldn't want to turn it off, DS wouldn't watch it at all and would still need supervised.

Dog is a puppy and needs to pee as soon as she wakes. She doesn't really need fed - that will change soon as she gets older anyway.

I can't have a shower before the DC get up. They wake up as soon as there is any movement at all - and so does the dog.

Sometimes we don't sit at the table together and all that happens is that I don't eat breakfast - and i need it.

Nervousnutty your routine is exactly what I need to do! I can't get ready in 15 mins though - how do you do that?

Lucysmum, it would be totally unfair of me to expect him to sort out kids and dog and get ready himself while I swanned in and out of the shower

Mine are 9, 7 and 5 and one thing that has bizarrely worked well for us if the challenge to be in the car so that when we turn the engine on, the car clock says no later than 8.10am. There is no incentive / punishment involved and I only have to remind them that we're in danger of missing the 8.10 deadline and they get moving.

Having said that, I get up at 6.20 but really because I go stright on to work from dropping and like to be able to hang out washing or make a start on the evening meal before I go.

Instead of 7.15 - all eat breakfast, try 7.15 dh and dcs eat breakfast while you shower/do hair etc. Then at 7.35 you take whichever dc has finished breakfast up to wash and clean teeth. dh takes the other one up at 7.45 to do same once they have finished. You and dcs are done by 8 and you all leave. dh has his shower when he gets home.

Although lucysmum has a point - really he should be doing the lot.

talbot, that might work for DD. She sometimes does respond to me putting the clock on the breakfast table and saying "you've got to finish eating by the time the big hand's at the 6"

I think you need to get your shower stuff done first but this doesn't mean that you have to get up earlier or wake the kids earlier. Just change the order you do things. If I showered after breakfast I would struggle to be on time.

I get up and have a shower, this often wakes the kids and they either squabble play in their rooms or start getting dressed whilst I finish (they are 5 and 3yo, I leave clothes out ready). I am very quick in the bathroom though.

I agree that as the person who has a job to get out to you shouldn't have to do much with the kids in the morning.

our morning routine goes something like this:
6:30 DH gets up, gets showered and ready, then has breakfast alone and leaves.

6:40 DH or DS1 wakes me up, DDs get woken by the general noise and start getting ready.
Meanwhile I breastfeed DS1.

6:55 I get showered and ready, then help all remaining children to get dressed (usually the two younger ones, dd1 is 4 and usually manages alone).

7:05 breakfast. This takes ages, but by now we are all pretty much ready to go. If we get start late, we just have to eat more quickly, or less.

7:45 washing up, clearing up of kitchen whilst DD2 and DS1 finish off.

7:50 do DD1s hair, everyone gets shoes on and dds go out to the garden until I am ready with DS. I find that getting them out to the garden really helps because I am sure they are ready, and they are not creating any more mess in the house whilst I try and sort everything out.

8am, hopefully, we are ready to go.

I really really don't think DH should be doing the lot. He has them all of the rest of the day, the least I can do is help get them ready.

Plus I want to do it - they are my kids.

No it's not unfair because you have a paid job to get to where presumably they want you to be on time. My routine FWIW:

6.45 - me up, shower, dress etc
7-7.15 - downstairs with kids. Let dog out/clean up poo. Eat breakfast (largely laid out night before) - sometimes DD3 and I wait until we come back from school.
7.40 - kids dress (uniforms already downstairs)
7.45 - hair, teeth (downstairs)
7.55 - older two do rabbits and guinea pigs under threat of me getting rid of them
8 - in car

Bags etc all sorted out night before

peasandbeans I am slightly in awe of you!

You're not swanning in and out of the shower, you're getting ready for work.

I am a SAHM at the moment and DH would think I was bonkers if I suggested that he should do anything much with the kids in the morning.

He makes up for it at weekends though .

agree with Lucysmum
The vast majority of sahm will do it on their own

agree with Lucysmum
The vast majority of sahm will do it on their own

Thanks lucysmum. I think I need to move faster (not easy as I am an owl really)