To think that we should be able to get out on time in the morning?

[doggiesayswoof]

I would really appreciate some blunt advice about my morning routine ? or lack thereof.

I am late leaving the house nearly every morning now, most days I scrape into the office just in time, sometimes if the traffic is bad I am late.

DH is SAHD and he takes DD to nursery, DS goes along for the ride. DD is late most mornings too.

This is what we do:

6.45 - All get up, DH takes dog out, feeds dog, makes breakfast. I get DC dressed.

7.15-7.35 or so - we eat breakfast. DC both take ages to eat.

Then back upstairs, DH and I both need to get showered and ready, kids need to get teeth brushed and faces washed. This should take 25 mins so we are ready for 8am. This is where it really falls apart. The DC fight, need supervision. They are picking up on the stress I think and become very demanding of our attention when we are trying to get ready. The puppy chews the carpet and needs to be put in her crate. All these interventions take time.

So this morning DH and DC left at 8.25 and I still wasn't ready (had to dry my hair etc) and left at 8.40. I'm supposed to be out at 8.10.

We could all get up earlier. But DC get very grumpy if we do this (and if DH and I try and get up before them, they always wake up)

This is driving me to distraction and I know it doesn't have to be like this!! Help.

Is everything laid out the night before? (So there is no chooseing of clothes involved, everything ready to throw on)

I agree with one getting ready and one dealing with children then swap over.

ALternatively can you just start getting up earlier and get ready, even fifteen minutes earlier. If children suffer from that time then bed 15 mins earlier at night so it evens out.

I would agree that as a SAHD then he should take most of the burden. Either that or you both get up earlier and get ready before the DCs are awake.

I work from home so I get the kids up, give them breakfast and get them dressed.
DH sorts himself out and leaves.

When they are both at school I come home, get showered and have my breakfast and start work at 9.30.

When I was working in the city, I used to have my breakfast at work and put my make up on en-route.

FWIW If you do change your routine and have a shower first, put a dressing gown on over your work clothes while you get breakfast sorted out with the children.

Thing is that when you are the SAH parent you can always have/finish breakfast when you get back from the school run. You don't have anything like the same time constraints as the working parent.

It's nice to do things together but sometimes it isn't practical.

It's tricky. DH comes back from nursery and has DS and the dog to sort out (she is a pup so quite hard work atm)

So he can't get a shower after the nursery run.

I do put my make up on at work - fine if I am in early, not good if I get in bang on 9am. Ditto with breakfast.

Will need to be consistent about laying out clothes the night before - I do it once in a blue moon and it does help.

artemis that is a good tip! hot though

I used to walk around like that - dressing gown over suit, covered in butter, milk, even worse..

When dh was working and I was pt (although getting into work every morning, just leaving earlier), we got up 6.45, dh took the dog out, I supervised ds's breakfast (I take much less time - I eat about 1/2 as much and I don't NEED to talk and ask questions continually) - if finished in time for TV, Boomerang until 7.25 (convenient ad break!) upstairs, teeth, get dressed, I have a quick shower and get dressed, ready for all getting off at 7.55. Now I am working ft and dh is jobhunting, I walk the dog and he has to supervise

How old are the children? Maybe I've missed that...

I'm another firm advocate of adults up and in the shower first, and then little ones.

Also, you say it takes forever for them to eat their breakfast - are you both sitting there with them while they eat their breakfast for 20 mins - could 1 of you be in the shower then...

MY DDs are 5 and 2, DD1 is in school preschool which starts at 8:45.

I'm up at 6:50, straight in the shower, washes, hair dried and straightened, fully make up done by 7:25

DH is then in the shower while I get up and dress DD1 (tidy her room, make her bed while she is in the loo, doing her underwear which she does herself)..

Then if DH is finsihed his shower, he'll get DD2 up, if not I'll start DD2...

They then get to watch TV while I make breakfast, they have breakfast, have their hair done and are generally all ready in complete calmness by 8:10 which gives us 15 minutes contingency in the morning as we leave at 8:25.

For a few months DH worked away during the week so I did it myself.

There are a few things that you just need to bite the bullet on/take control over...

• You can't switch on the TV in the morning as DD wouldn't want it off - well that might happen on the first day but you are the adult, you are incontrol of the off switch, and I generally have found if you tell them its only on for 10 minutes, or until you are out the shower etc etc then it makes it a lot easier. Also, whats the worst that can happen, she "creates" a bit when it goes off, might happen for 2 days or so until she understands the routine.

• Your children take ages to eat breakfast - again, get a big clear clock and give them a time limit - 10 minutes to eat breakfast, after that it goes away....

You could just move the entire routine back 25 minutes (so get all of you up at 6:20am). I reckon that would be your simplest solution.

Wash your hair in the evenings.
Use simple make up that is v quick to apply (Bobbi Brown is fab for this). Decide what you and the kids are wearing the night before and lay it out, including shoes/handbags/coats.
Keep fruit/cereal bars/juice boxes handy so that if you skip breakfast you can take food with you.
TV tends to lead to whining in our house so we don't have it before school but if the kids are ready early they read with DH.

My Dh showers first thing and then takes the kids downstairs for breakfast while I shower. I stay upstairs and help the kids get dressed & washed when they're finished with breakfast while DH tidies up. He takes DD1 to school at 8.30 while I feed the baby (takes ages) and have breakfast myself and then take DD2 to nursery at 9.10. It helps that our kids get up v early at 6am but mornings are rough - hope you get it sorted soon.

I think you need to leave your DH to get on with it if you have to be out the house and he doesn't.

We are all up and out the house in 40 minutes but that means I don't have my breakfast until after the school run (not a big problem - I take a while to feel like eating it anyway). DH does nothing except wake my 2 DSs up, get himself ready and make the DSs a drink. He sits with them whilst they have their breakfast - they spend time together but he isn't a huge part of the routine because some mornings he isn't there due to an early start and I don't want it to be too dependent on him.

I do let them watch the telly (DH included ) or else DS1 would be wondering around, probably trying to read 4 books at once or asking to use his DS, DS2 would get games out and nobody would do anything they should. They get the telly in our room so long as they are getting changed at the same time. They don't mess about having a wash because they want to get back to the programme. It also acts as a timer. Once the programme has finished they should be downstairs. I have on occasion turned it off because it has been too distracting but not often.

As a SAHM my morning shower is the first thing to go if we are in a rush and I just have it at 10ish once the calm hits and DD's play in their room for a bit.

My routine

6:15 alarm goes off - hit snooze
6:30 alarm goes off again - get DS up and bring him into big bed so as to make sure daddy gets up and changes nappy and gets him dressed whilst i have shower
6:45 get dressed and go downstairs
6:50 Make breakfast for me and milk for DS (he has brekfast at childminders or nursery)Whilst DH has shower and gets ready
7:00am Tweenies time for DS
7:20 Leave for work

I'd get up earlier and have your shower first.

I do the following;

Showers/hair washing in the evening. Morning is too much of a faff.
Iron work clothes on a Sunday night for the week so that i have enough clothes in the wardrobe ready to throw on in the morning.
Ditto uniforms.
Bags packed the night before including mine.
Lunches packed the night before.
Set my clock 15 mins early. I then forget i have done this and i am always on time.
Breakfast s are mulitpack boxes of cereal and the children choose the night before so they are out and ready in the morning. (tescos own brand are about £1.10 for 8 packs of things like rice crispies and cornflakes.)
Mondays the children always have school dinners. It seems to save me a little stress. I have no idea why.

We lay the breakfast table and put out all clothes before bed.

I am sahm and dh leaves for work at 7.30.

DH and boys are dressed and hair done by 7am when we all breakfast together. I make lunches as I finish breakfast first.

DH goes to work, boys brush teeth and watch tv whilst I get ready and dress baby.

I have a proper shower in the evening. In the morning it is just a sensation of a shower to wake me up and damp my hair enough for styling.

If we are running late, dh just eats breakfast and goes to work. If we are walking neighbours dog (not often), I sneak out at 6.30 to do it.

you definitely need to shower and dress before you get the kids up - they then get more attentio and you are less stressed as you are ready

I'd get up earlier and see to yourself.... being late for work or getting there in a flap is no good in this climate.
If I were you I'd get up at 6am, have a long shower and make myself look nice before the dcs get up.

I get 4 dcs out of the house by 8.20am, with perfect make up and nice clothes! I am the most disorganised person I know, but I hate hate hate being late.

doggie - I have to agree with the posters who say your DH should be doing more. I have 4 DCs on my own every morning as my DH works away and I can tell you he doesn't give a second thought to the fact that I do everything.
If you said how old your DCs are I missed it sorry, but if they are old enough to get themselves dressed then I think they should be doing that. IME if children take a long time to eat then maybe they just aren't that hungry - could you maybe give them a time limit and just clear up when its passed. After a couple of days when they know you're serious maybe they'll eat more quickly.
Other suggestions - shower at night, DD have breakfast at nursery, eat your breakfast at work or on the way ?
Sorry if this is a but blunt but you did say that was OK.

My dcs are 7,6,2.5 and 8 mths

I am reading all this avidly.

It's all really helpful, we just need to give this some thought and do it

We've been drifting on for too long without much of a routine - really since DD started at this nursery in March. Then we got the pup and it all got even worse.

So we could try:

I get up at 6.30 and sneak into the shower, hoping DS doesn't wake up

DH goes downstairs and takes dog out before she bursts

6.45 - I'm out of the shower and getting dressed while DC get up, DH sorting breakfast, we then continue as before but DH has to go up and get ready while the DC finish eating. No stress for me because I am showered and dressed already.

I've tried not showering in the morning, but I get to about lunchtime and feel really grubby - I wash my hair every morning otherwise it just feels greasy.

DD is nearly 5 and DS is 1.

DD is not a problem (except slow eater)

She will dress herself and brush her own teeth etc.

DS OTOH is an absolute liability and is either hurting himself or his sister if left unattended - it's just his age.

DH does loads already - honestly - I don't want to paint a picture of a useless feckless man. I WANT to help them all get out of the house - I find it impossible to disengage from it if I am in the house.

posie, I'm interested in how you make sure they all stay asleep until you are ready? The shower turns on and mine are wide awake.

We do:

6.45 - I get up, make the breakfast (and lunches for DH & DS) - yell that it is ready and go have my shower and get dressed.

7.15 - DS finished breakfast, I help him brush teeth, gets himself dressed with the clothes I laid out. DH in shower/getting dressed.

7.40 - I tidy kitchen/make coffee for DH and I (I can't stand eating in the morning).

7.45 - DH and I have coffee together while DS plays (he knows the drill, the faster he gets through breakfast/teeth/getting dressed the more play time).

8:30 - we all leave together.

I don't expect DH to help getting DS ready because he is off to work, also I would get your DH to leave the dog until after he gets back from school run. If you want to help, then you could take a kid each and get that one ready?

Give DD a time limit on breakfast, if she hasn't eaten it within 15mins then take it away.