To think that we should be able to get out on time in the morning?

[doggiesayswoof]

I would really appreciate some blunt advice about my morning routine ? or lack thereof.

I am late leaving the house nearly every morning now, most days I scrape into the office just in time, sometimes if the traffic is bad I am late.

DH is SAHD and he takes DD to nursery, DS goes along for the ride. DD is late most mornings too.

This is what we do:

6.45 - All get up, DH takes dog out, feeds dog, makes breakfast. I get DC dressed.

7.15-7.35 or so - we eat breakfast. DC both take ages to eat.

Then back upstairs, DH and I both need to get showered and ready, kids need to get teeth brushed and faces washed. This should take 25 mins so we are ready for 8am. This is where it really falls apart. The DC fight, need supervision. They are picking up on the stress I think and become very demanding of our attention when we are trying to get ready. The puppy chews the carpet and needs to be put in her crate. All these interventions take time.

So this morning DH and DC left at 8.25 and I still wasn't ready (had to dry my hair etc) and left at 8.40. I'm supposed to be out at 8.10.

We could all get up earlier. But DC get very grumpy if we do this (and if DH and I try and get up before them, they always wake up)

This is driving me to distraction and I know it doesn't have to be like this!! Help.

I work p/t, and DH works f/t, but I do the whole morning routine. Works fine as DH is only here some of the time (Navy).

I get up whenever DS2 gets up, and give him his b/fast immediately. DS1 wakes up naturally, or is woken at 7:30am. DS2 is normally up between 6 and 7, so I eat my breakfast then. DS1 is given b/fast whenever he comes down, and this must be finished by 8am. He then gets himself dressed between 8 and 8:30am. I shower and get dressed (I say dressed, not ready as this is all I do! I brush my hair, and put deoderant and perfume on too, but that's about it.) Then I get DS2 dressed and put DS1's lunch money and water bottle in his bag ready to leave at 8:30am. The kids watch TV whilst I'm showering/getting dressed. DS1 can get dressed v.quickly, so a bit of shouting gentle encouragement once I'm ready is all he needs if he's been distracted by the TV.

If DH is the SAHD and doesn't have to be anywhere by a certain time, he should be the one in control of the kids so you get out on time. In our house DH wakes up whenever he sets his alarm, showers, dresses, comes downstairs and goes to work!

I am SAHM, DH leaves for work most days just before 8. He gets up, showers, gets himself ready, eats his breakfast and gets ready.

I do everything else me and child related. If DH has spare time, or is going in later, or we are up early for some reason, he will get the breakfast ready or change a child or something.

I get everyone ready before coming downstairs otherwise I feel as if I am walking through quicksand as when they are downstairs with pyjamas on they seem to stagnate.

In an ideal world, I would get up first but doing that merely wakes them, so I sort them out, get them eating breakfast and then get ready myself before joining them at the table.

All clothes out the night before, lunchboxes made, forms signed, homework checked, bags packed, coats ready. I tend to have time to MN before the school run.

The crux of my post was, if your DH is a SAHD and you only have 2 children and no extenuating circumstances, it is his job to sort them out in the morning. You sort yourself and get to work on time. If you have spare time, do something useful but do not be late, you need your job. Your DH has a job, he should be doing it. I would say the same if the roles were reversed.

With the dog it's just a question of taking her out to the garden. She's still being housetrained. Then she needs to go out again just before they leave.

This part will improve quickly (or at least I hope so).

Sorry massive x-posts

My connection is slow today

Yes definitely get everything ready the night before - everything falls apart here when we don't do that.

It's actually MORE important for me (working) than for the DC.

We both work full-time so don't consider it one parent's job to sort the DS out in the morning, I think if you are both there it's hard to just get on with your preparations, even if you are going to work.

My DS usually wake as soon as we move or they wake us so showering before them doesn't work for us - as I said, one goes down for a shower while the other takes the DS for a wee etc and starts breakfast, and the other one showers afterwards.

I am SAHM so have complete responsibility for getting myself and the children up and ready.
DH gets up, gets himself ready, gives the kids a cuddle if he has time and is out the door!

If I were you, I would get up and straight in the shower.
DH to go and let the dog in the garden for quick wee.
DH get kids up, washed and dressed.
You sit with kids eating breakfast while DH throws some clothes on in a hurry, he comes and finishes breakfast with them
You leave for work
DH gets kids out and takes DD to nursery THEN he comes home, has a proper shower and longer to get ready and takes dog for walk

You NEED to be at work on time, especially in this work climate.
DH does not NEED to get DD to nursery on time. It wont be the end of the world if she is a late a few times while he gets himself into a better routine. It does need to fall to him though as you'll be in the crap as a family if you end up in trouble at work for always being late!!!

Haventslept, that's exactly it - we both used to work f/t pre-DS, so part of it is a hangover from that. But also I cannot get on with getting ready myself and ignore the chaos all around. Just can't cut myself off from it.

I don't know about the swapping over thing - will think on - I don't like leaving the house feeling like I've not seen DH at all. I know this is a luxury though.

The thing is if your DC are slow at eating breakfast you WILL eat with your DH too I think.

We certainly see enough of each other in the morning !

Helps that our bathroom/shower is downstairs so I can multi-task (ie supervise DS2 on potty while putting my make-up on.)

Could you have a mirror downstairs and do your make-up in the hall? Or in the kitchen?

Two things that help me:
I shower/wash hair at night now, as I'm a late-night person, not an early morning one. Then I just wash my face in the morning.
We have toothbrushes and hairbrushes downstairs, so nobody needs to go back upstairs again after coming down dressed for breakfast. That saved lots of time.

we both work and it is the responsibility of whoever leaves latest to get kids ready. basically like this:

6:45 i get up and go down put kettle on , make coffe and lay out breakfast, let dog out into garden to pee. get drinks in sippy cups for dc
6:50 upstairs wake dh with coffe an dkids with drinks, he starts daily tussle of getting htem dressed ( all clothes laid out by me night before) I start getting dressed/washed etc for work
7:00 dh and dc downstairs for breakfast , i follow on a few mins later
7:10 breakfast over ( no matter if finished or not htis quickly sorted out slow eaters)
7:10-7:20 dh and me supervise teeth and feed dog and slurp down coffee and i finish my breakfast
7:20 dc and i leave house ( all bags done night before and in car)
7:20 -8:30 dh gets himself ready for work, clears kitchen , does who knows what?

I always lay out my clothes and wash and style hair night before, don't wear make up and stick to orutine , no divergence what so ever....

I haven't read all the posts - LOL - I started too - but too much to think about with every post!

Your DH is a SAHD, he has a DS and a dog to look after when he gets home - a lot of us do

I suggest

No TV

DH has a 'shower time', it's his choice to use it or not say 6.45-7am - plenty of time for a shower and to get dressed, this is his time - no kids.

You 'mind the kids' in that 15 mins (starting to dress them if you like, reading a story, whatever).

You kick the dog out for a wee, feed him and put the kettle on.

DH dresses the kids, tidies the rooms etc and then takes the kids to the kitchen for breakfast, he grabs breakfast if he can while sorting the kids or has it on his return - takes kids from breakfast, via a hairbrush, shoes on etc to school.

You amuse the kids 6.45-7 (if they are awake), then deal with the dog and get yourself ready, grab breakfast when it suits you, kiss DH & Kids...go to work.

Our departure time - 8am - trust me, it's not that hard

Can't believe you are thinking of/being told to get up earlier. You should be able to get ready for work and out in half an hour if no child related activities. Your DH should be able to get kids ready and out in an hour. With a 1 yr old you need all the sleep you can get !

As an aside - leave dog in crate til you are ready to deal with it - it will learn to wait. We got our puppy when DD3 was 1 and it was like having another baby !

lucysmum, you are right, I can get ready and out in about 20 mins if I am away with work and staying in a hotel - I am far too easily distracted in the morning.

As dog's bladder control improves she will definitely be waiting until we're ready to see to her.

One of the reasons I want to "stay in the game" in the mornings is that DH will be going back to work at some point. I don't want to be left suffering from domestic learned helplessness when he does.

He doesn't usually have a shower in the morning but does need to wash and brush teeth etc. He needs around 10-15 mins to get washed and dressed. Atm he's struggling to get even that - I know it sounds ridiculous

you'll be fine, I had a nanny 7-7 for 6 years so rarely did the morning routine, then gave up work. Took no time at all to get into the routine. If you can hold down a full time job as a sleep deprived mum of two doing the morning routine will be a doddle.

Thanks, that is encouraging lucysmum. DS actually not a bad sleeper but he has his moments - and he does wake early

Def have your shower before you get them up

I give them breakfast BEFORE they're dressed, it wakes them up a bit so they're more able to do it themselves. You can then do all the washing/ teeth brushing together with no risk of marmite/ toothpaste on clothes.

Message withdrawn

I have to be up and out the house by 9am. Alarm goes off at 7 ( little bit earlier if ive got washing to peg out or was lazy and didnt do lunch the night before.)
anway, i shower then, get DD up, or if she is up already she just follows me about.. ( annoying!).
We do breakfast, she has hers in front of Cbeebies, i eat mine and read papers online. Then while she is still watching TV, i dry hair, get dressed do make up. Then call her upstairs, get her dressed and ready.
All downstairs, feed dog, bags on and go.
Its alwasys a race... but 99% of the time we are on time ( just!)

i have 4 to get out the house by 8:10am

dp often leaves for work by 7am so its all down to me.

i do EVERYTHING i can the night before, clothes ready, bottles sterilised and powder counted out for the morning.

pack ups made, all bags, pe kits, swimming kits etc ready, including my bag, making sure i have nappies, wipes, and anything i will need for the day.

i even put cereal in bowls ready for the morning so i just have to add milk in the morning.

7am we get up, i sit the elder three ages 9, 6 and 4 at the table with bfast, then i go and shower and get ready.
7:30ish baby who is 15mths wakes, i change and dress him then sit in highchair with toast of in carseat with a snack infront of cbeebies. the elder 3 get dressed as do i.

get lunches in bags, chuck dishes in sink, do teeth, mine and boys, make babies milk and put it in my bag to cool, then out the door, baby will have his milk on way to school once its cooled or else he sometimes waits till we get home at 9:15. then i have bfast and tidy up the mess from the morning.

DH is out the house at around 7'ish so doesn't do a a great deal in the mornings but does bring me coffee in bed at 6

Here's what we do:

• 6am - coffee and milk in bed for me and ds2, ds1 (4) gets himself dressed
• 6.30am - i take both boys downstairs for breakfast and i double check everythings ready for the day and do any tidying up
• 7am - all 3 of us back upstairs whilst i have a bath and hairwash often accompanied by ds2
• 7.20am - out of bath - get ds2 (1) dressed and then the boys potter around upstairs whilst i dry hair, get dressed and put on make up
• 7.55am - downstairs - grab book bags etc and out the house

Agree with others that do as much as possible the night before but for me its essential to have a bath or shower in the morning or i just feel too grubby.

What about having a shower at night?