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16 year old stepson's reaction to the Russel Brand sentencing

153 replies

inthisdayandage27 · Yesterday 20:30

Name change as I'm absolutely shocked actually.

My 16 year old stepson's reaction to the Russel Brand sentencing over dinner tonight was "Well, most women lie about it, don't they?"

I said "You can't seriously think that can you?"

He replies "Well you think that about men" (Which made little sense, but..)

We sort of left it like that because I was dumbstruck that he could think that.

Now, I have a slightly younger son who I hope will have absorbed some respect of women from me (and I sure will be having a chat with him) but more worrying I have a 12 year old daughter too. The step kids (both boys) are here half the time.

I'm honestly not sure how to go about this as I am hands off parenting with step kids (thinking they had sensible parents although I do worry my partner isn't as liberal as I am with his thinking).

I think having a chat to his mum would be over stepping the mark but I feel I can't leave this.

OP posts:
Happyjoe · Yesterday 22:00

Ask him what he thinks of this - more coming forward, who do not need the money.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c95ynylr8j6xo

ByLilacMember · Yesterday 22:01

I don't think it would be pleasant for your daughter to live amongst men and boys who have these views. I'd be very very protective of her and her privacy

St0rmF0rce · Yesterday 22:03

I thoroughly believe it, Korsandhi asks a brilliant question to Brand of what he thinks consent looks like.

I expect he'll become thoroughly acquainted with the concept of consent over the coming months.

Matronic6 · Yesterday 22:07

Wilderness181 · Yesterday 21:47

To be fair he probably has been stitched up with the rape conviction but not by the woman, it’s the establishment that wanted rid of him.

A groupie pursues him for sex and goes through with it willingly on more than 1 occasion. 15 years later she tells someone in the media who facilitates a police report.

In court she states she said no to a particularly activity whereas Brand claims she said yes.

I of course have no idea what the truth is from that day nearly 20 years ago however to jail someone for over a decade and take him away from his family and children on the basis of that seems extreme.

It later transpires that the testimony that was taken as being entirely factual by the court came from someone with, in the judges own words, “lengthy mental health and addiction problems”.

They wanted rid of him. They were OK when he was the darling of the left wing but as soon as his politics flipped they went for him.

Of course none of that takes away from the fact that people should always respect each other. It just looks extremely questionable at a time where the UK is seeing more and more politically motivated court action.

Why would the establishment want to get rid of him?

What exactly was he doing that made him a threat to any establishment?

Cos all he has done is literally what plenty of other conspiracy theorist podcasters are doing across the planet. He has brought zero new revelations or information to any public attention. He largely spouts off his opinion about whatever already made it on joe rogan or the likes. Joe Rogan is literally one of the biggest podcasters in the world and is allowed to spout his nonsense because it makes money.

Just like the 'establishment' allowed RB to get away with his abusive behaviour for years because he was making them money. His crimes only came to light following heavy research from journalists that led to criminal investigation.

And yes, people who commit crimes can and should be held accountable for it at any time in their lives.

People with mental health problems can also be victims of crime. They are not less worthy be because they have mental health problems. Perhaps being assaulted led to their mental health problems?

curious79 · Yesterday 22:07

Your stepson is being very selective about the information he absorbs. It was a finding of fact that one of the victims removed their consent but Brand still anally raped her. His attitude is disgusting. I would discuss it with your husband and ask him to intervene.

Greag · Yesterday 22:12

Your younger children are another reason to address it. Boys need to understand that consent and respect aren't negotiable, and girls need to know they deserve to be believed and respected.

Hopefulsalmon · Yesterday 22:13

I suggest approaching this by challenging by way of non confrontational curiousity. It's far better to listen, get a discissuon going and get him to explain and reflect on his views rather than just telling him off and risk him doubling down.

Netcurtainnelly · Yesterday 22:17

Excited101 · Yesterday 20:53

Unfortunately it’s the same as a huge proportion of comments I’ve seen about it on social media, mainly by women. So very very scary

You can't really tell though if they are being deliberately controversial and who they are online.

More concerning to hear it from your stepsons mouth.

Unfortunately he just sounds like another horrible male. Ask him.how he'd like it if his girlfriend was raped? Stupid Sod.

Netcurtainnelly · Yesterday 22:20

beeautifullif3 · Yesterday 21:48

I mean hes not wrong is he , and we need to stop pretending that women don't lie about these things for all sorts of reasons , not saying brand is innocent at all but , your ss is not wrong lol

Rapist apologist.

DarkAngel23 · Yesterday 22:25

Wilderness181 · Yesterday 21:47

To be fair he probably has been stitched up with the rape conviction but not by the woman, it’s the establishment that wanted rid of him.

A groupie pursues him for sex and goes through with it willingly on more than 1 occasion. 15 years later she tells someone in the media who facilitates a police report.

In court she states she said no to a particularly activity whereas Brand claims she said yes.

I of course have no idea what the truth is from that day nearly 20 years ago however to jail someone for over a decade and take him away from his family and children on the basis of that seems extreme.

It later transpires that the testimony that was taken as being entirely factual by the court came from someone with, in the judges own words, “lengthy mental health and addiction problems”.

They wanted rid of him. They were OK when he was the darling of the left wing but as soon as his politics flipped they went for him.

Of course none of that takes away from the fact that people should always respect each other. It just looks extremely questionable at a time where the UK is seeing more and more politically motivated court action.

I have no words…

tartyflette · Yesterday 22:36

A court listened to all the evidence in this case and a jury found him guilty.
Why do some people here think they know better?

Frugalgal · Yesterday 22:37

DarkAngel23 · Yesterday 22:25

I have no words…

omfg

The utter stupidity of this. Eye watering imbecility. You should be ashamed of yourself

Sweetandsours · Yesterday 22:37

inthisdayandage27 · Yesterday 21:01

Ok I think I was still in shock. It's a task for his father to talk to his son. And a task for me to talk to his father.

And protect your daughter.
I certainly wouldn't want my daughters surrounded by men who held such views.

Take it very seriously and protect her.

StAmelia · Yesterday 22:42

I can't believe your partner hasn't had a conversation about consent off the back of this and it sounds like you're not convinced he would agree with his son!! The message from this conviction has gone right over their heads. Whether some people make false accusations is irrelevant, these women were telling the truth and RB had been protected and enabled by mostly men for all of those years

InterestedDad37 · Yesterday 22:42

" I do worry my partner isn't as liberal as I am with his thinking"

Clearly not! And it's him you should be having a word with, presuming he lives with you, not the mum!!!

InterestedDad37 · Yesterday 22:42

(accidental duplicate post)

LiuBei · Yesterday 22:42

sprigatito · Yesterday 20:38

“I do worry my partner isn’t as liberal as I am with his thinking”

The problem is sitting right there on your sofa OP! Take it up with him, don’t shove the responsibility onto another woman.

I sort of agree, I think conflating liberalism with being anti rape is part of the problem. Conservatives can also care deeply about preventing rape. If you tell young people only liberals are anti rape, and then they find other parts of conservatism appealing, you might be making them more misogynistic.

To that extent, I agree (part of) the problem is sitting on your sofa.

Cherrytree86 · Yesterday 22:44

Wolfiefan · Yesterday 20:49

If you honestly don’t think your partner would pull his son up for this kind of talk then he needs to be an ex.

This, Op

Happyjoe · Yesterday 22:46

Wilderness181 · Yesterday 21:47

To be fair he probably has been stitched up with the rape conviction but not by the woman, it’s the establishment that wanted rid of him.

A groupie pursues him for sex and goes through with it willingly on more than 1 occasion. 15 years later she tells someone in the media who facilitates a police report.

In court she states she said no to a particularly activity whereas Brand claims she said yes.

I of course have no idea what the truth is from that day nearly 20 years ago however to jail someone for over a decade and take him away from his family and children on the basis of that seems extreme.

It later transpires that the testimony that was taken as being entirely factual by the court came from someone with, in the judges own words, “lengthy mental health and addiction problems”.

They wanted rid of him. They were OK when he was the darling of the left wing but as soon as his politics flipped they went for him.

Of course none of that takes away from the fact that people should always respect each other. It just looks extremely questionable at a time where the UK is seeing more and more politically motivated court action.

Oh bullshit.
Just hit the news that one of the victims spoke up at the time at C4. Was brushed under the carpet.
C4 have admitted several complaints. BBC admitted to several complaints. None of these complaints were acted upon over the years and Brand carried on unchecked.

If there's any 'establishment' involved here it's the TV execs who wanted him to stay because he made them lots of money. How many others complained? Lots of companies made stuff for TV shows, smaller ones, with even more to lose.

Right down the rabbit hole you went eh?

Happyjoe · Yesterday 22:49

tartyflette · Yesterday 22:36

A court listened to all the evidence in this case and a jury found him guilty.
Why do some people here think they know better?

Welcome to modern 'logic'.
Even when the truth has smacked them in the face, jumped up and down on their toes then thumped them in the bollocks they still don't believe it.

There are people now that just so idiotic it's no longer funny, it's dangerous.

socialdilemmawhattodo · Yesterday 22:59

ShoveThatBallroomUpYourFatAss · Yesterday 21:45

“And that’s why you should always double-check that any woman is fully consenting. Make sure that everyone is enthusiastically consenting.”

Indeed. But also for same sex. Fully consenting.

Scottishskifun · Yesterday 22:59

You speak to your husband about it, if you have a good communication relationship with SS mum then you simply state look he raised this we have stated this. If you don't then you don't.

Unfortunately young men and teenagers are suckered into a lot of manosphere stuff. The more they see one the more the algorithms send their way. I've even had it from following people who are anti manosphere stuff and get loads of podcasts popping up who I am abhorrent against.

I would suggest your DH showing him some of Will Hitchins content on Instagram he is very good from a guys perspective of tearing alot of the manosphere down.

Wilderness181 · Yesterday 23:00

Happyjoe · Yesterday 22:46

Oh bullshit.
Just hit the news that one of the victims spoke up at the time at C4. Was brushed under the carpet.
C4 have admitted several complaints. BBC admitted to several complaints. None of these complaints were acted upon over the years and Brand carried on unchecked.

If there's any 'establishment' involved here it's the TV execs who wanted him to stay because he made them lots of money. How many others complained? Lots of companies made stuff for TV shows, smaller ones, with even more to lose.

Right down the rabbit hole you went eh?

Edited

I was referring specifically to the rape conviction not any other matters. That sole conviction accounted for 90% of his sentence.

If someone consensually has sex with you and then 2 decades later claims part of it was non consensual do you really think that warrants a decade in prison?

Fluffyblackcat7 · Yesterday 23:04

Netcurtainnelly · Yesterday 22:17

You can't really tell though if they are being deliberately controversial and who they are online.

More concerning to hear it from your stepsons mouth.

Unfortunately he just sounds like another horrible male. Ask him.how he'd like it if his girlfriend was raped? Stupid Sod.

Asking him how he would feel if he had been raped would be more to the point but actually, I think that a much less adversarial, explorative tone will be more productive: Why do you think that, Son? What evidence is there to support that opinion?

Nugg · Yesterday 23:04

I’m horrified that my early 30s daughter who has actually met him, said oh that shit used to happen to me on the average night out in XX (town she grew up).
please believe how much I put her straight!! WTF!!