AIBU to be upset over friends comment about my clothing?

[Sunshine231]

I went for drinks with my friend this afternoon. It was just a casual thing. Not to a posh bar or anything. I was wearing a coat I wear quite often. I have had compliments on the jacket before. I met with my friend and we were walking into the bar and she said “I love you but that jacket is awful”. AIBU to feel hurt and upset by this comment? We were already out so no chance for me to change the jacket so it just made me feel really insecure and embarrassed. I’ve been through a hard time lately and have pretty low self esteem which my friend is aware of. I made it clear the comment had hurt my feelings and my friend said I was over reacting and it’s ok for her not to like my jacket. Am I being overly sensitive or is it a bit cruel of her to tell me that at a time when I had no option to change what I was wearing?

She should keep her opinions to herself.

She's bloody rude. What you wear is none of her business.

Really? Why didn't you just say "what's wrong with it?" Then "well I like it!"

You need some thicker skin. If you like something, what does it matter what others think?

I opened the door to my Tesco delivery yesterday wearing a grinch oversize hoodie! I couldn't care less what people think. And yes I do actually wear it out and about sometimes!

What did she gain by telling you? She sounds rude unless you asked her for her opinion

If it’s an ordinary jacket then she’s being a dick. If it’s a very unusual jacket then depending on her and you and your relationship she may or may not be being a dick.

Think about the random outfits you see people wearing on TV eg Celebrity Traitors. People can carry off anything. She is pathetic if she thinks that her opinion counts for anything.

We were already out so no chance for me to change the jacket so it just made me feel really insecure and embarrassed

she was bloody rude but I think you need to reflect on why her opinion matters so much. The above is really not a proportional response to her nastiness

Just say very calmly but assertively ‘don’t talk to me like that’, and if she starts making excuses etc just repeat it.

She’s being fucking rude.

Watch this video - this is how you should respond to her next time. https://share.google/kY2ggsisPZ6eVnBuu

Part of my wants to say something sensible like 'laugh it off' or 'make a joke of it' or 'pull he leg'. The other part of me wants you to karate chop her voice box.

I would be annoyed too. You didn’t ask for her opinion or wear it for her approval.
Does she usually trip over her tongue?

Just say something like "I don't appreciate you being so rude to me" or simply "don't be so rude". Say it with a smile even if you're dying inside.

What an awful thing to say. Is she often like this?

The correct answer to that kind of comment is to laugh heartily at them and add a breezy “well isn’t it a good job it’s not you that’s wearing it then?”

That's just undermining and rude. You need better friends!

Just reply that you like it which is why you wear it and that's all that matters

Nasty and rude, YANBU.
Is it a thing now that people don't understand that you can think things privately, in your own head, WITHOUT SAYING THEM OUT LOUD? You can even say them privately to other people - without offending the person concerned. Being rude is unnecessary and will lead naturally to people avoiding you and not being friends with you any more.

Who needs enemies with friends like that! So rude and nasty

"The same could be said of your face but I thought we were too polite to bring up such things"*

*Possibly why I don't have many friends...

Can you share a pic of a similar jacket so we can see? I don't think I've ever had that much of a strong reaction to any jacket

You just say, ‘well, I love it’, or ‘I love you too, but that lipstick makes your teeth look really yellow’.

It’s fine for your friend to not like your jacket. We all like different things. It was rude of her to say so but it’s no reflection of the loveliness or otherwise of the jacket. I’m sure you don’t really like some of her clothes.

It's a dick move from her because what does she gain from saying it out loud? Other than making you feel bad. Clearly you liked it enough to be wearing it!

Of course she's allowed to not like your jacket..... we all have different opinions but some people don't seem to be grown up enough to realise not every thought that enters their head needs articulating.

Is the jacket a real statement piece? What was her problem with your coat?

Obviously you need to tell her she looks shit when you see her next.
Also wear an even wackier coat

Yes it’s rude, but it’s also so concerning you’re so worried about her opinion, so what if she doesn’t like it,

She’s not a friend of she’s making nasty, cruel remarks.

It's the rudeness in saying it, though, that would bother me. Friends or strangers are entitled to their opinion, but what's the point of them saying it? Superiority? Reminds me of the negging thing. Putting people down, for no reason, is wrong.

I mean cmon calm down, she said I love you but that jackets awful, it’s hardly nasty and cruel. Rude maybe, but it might be and she thought someone should tell her, she didn’t say she was awful, just her jacket,