AIBU to be upset over friends comment about my clothing?

[Sunshine231]

I went for drinks with my friend this afternoon. It was just a casual thing. Not to a posh bar or anything. I was wearing a coat I wear quite often. I have had compliments on the jacket before. I met with my friend and we were walking into the bar and she said “I love you but that jacket is awful”. AIBU to feel hurt and upset by this comment? We were already out so no chance for me to change the jacket so it just made me feel really insecure and embarrassed. I’ve been through a hard time lately and have pretty low self esteem which my friend is aware of. I made it clear the comment had hurt my feelings and my friend said I was over reacting and it’s ok for her not to like my jacket. Am I being overly sensitive or is it a bit cruel of her to tell me that at a time when I had no option to change what I was wearing?

@Sunshine231
Perhaps you looked better than she felt you had a right to
Bloody rude!

I have had compliments on the jacket before.

Why are you giving your friend's criticism more weight than the previous compliments?

What's really important is whether you like it. It doesn't have to be a style statement - does it serve a purpose in your life? If it's comfortable, warm, waterproof, fits over your favourite jumper, goes with anything - those are all reasons to keep it. One criticism is not a reason to get rid of it.

And giving unasked for criticism of anyone's clothes is extremely rude.

Rude! I’d say since we’re beng honest when are you going to get some decent shoes?

I defer judgement until i know more about this jacket…

you say you like it but you are also willing to get rid of it after one comment 😬 So is it nice? Or not?

OP says she's been having a hard time atm, and her self-esteem is low, which her friend knows about. It sounds like OP is pretty self-aware and her friend was being very thoughtless.

Don’t throw the jacket away. You are having a tough time and you might regret it when you start having a less tough time.

honestly I would go back to her and tell her some of things that you have said on. That you feel vulnerable and even small criticisms really upset you and that her comment has left you feeling hurt. A decent human being would apologise, and there you go, you have a good friend. A twat will make out that they have done nothing wrong and then that is them showing their true colours. So basically a litmus test to see if your friend is really a friend or not.

"oh dear, you've said an inside thought out loud. So rude".
I'm sure your jacket is great. Other people have complimented you, and they outnumber her.
Anyway, it's about whether you like it, not anyone else. Keep the jacket.
But I can imagine it felt bad. Sorry op. She was hurtful.

It is ok for her not to like your jacket, but she should’ve just kept her big gob shut. As long as you like it - that’s all that matters x

What a weird/horrible thing for a friend to say when greeting you. I honestly don’t care what my friends wear- I’m there because I enjoy their company, not because we’re on a photo shoot for Vogue.

It took me decades but I don't give a crap what people think about my choice of clothing. As long as my fanny isn't hanging out, then people can do one.

Remember it's just her opinion. It's not fact. Who the hell is she, anyway? Anna Wintour? Her opinion means diddly squat.

I wear a lot of pink, nothing gaudy at all, just accessories really, and get SO many silly comments it's unreal. "ooh let me get my sunglasses!" etc. Nothing I wear is remotely outlandish and I'd rather be me than them with their dull grey choices (again, that's only my opinion and they can do what they want! Just, I don't make comments. It's classless.)

But by implication she’s saying that the OP has bad taste.
I wish people would own their opinions if they have to say them out loud - if you don’t like something then say ‘I don’t like it’, rather than ‘that thing is shit’.

Sounds like a bitch. I would never say that to a friend or anyone! One friend in particular wears things I never would but I would never say anything mean.

“I love you, but your comment about my jacket is bitchy.”
See how she likes it. She won’t.

“Did you mean to be so rude?”
”I don’t recall asking your opinion”
”So is your personality/face/whatever but at least I can change my jacket”

It was really not a helpful comment and certainly didn't need saying but you should've said that you liked it and luckily she's not the one wearing it!

Don't take it to heart. She was just being a moo. As long as comments like this are not common, let it slide.

I have a coat that’s a real Marmite number - I’m almost frightened to describe it here because I know people will come for me! The first time I wore it to work my colleague actually shrieked in horror. I just said, well, that was rude. She messaged me in the evening to say she was so sorry, hadn’t meant to be rude etc.

The coat is bright orange, the colour of highlighter pen, quilted, and ankle length - from &OtherStories four years ago. Never have I received so many compliments from random people, literally every time I wear it someone in the street tells me it’s great. I know it’s not everyone’s taste, but on a driech November day it’s perfect! (I have very dark hair and it’s a good colour on me.) Your friend was rude, OP, but I bet there are people who think you look fabulous in your coat.

@Sunshine231 you like the coat.

Others have told you they like the coat.

The fact you’d consider getting rid of it because your friend doesn’t like it really says it all… it’s not tej cost you need
to change, it’s your self esteem.

Can you get some support to work on building your self confidence?

As for this friend.. is she otherwise supportive? Kind? Has your back? If you can’t answer yes to that, it consider what she brings to your life…

You said you’ve had compliments on the jacket before so why are you talking about immediately throwing it away because of one horrible comment from a horrible person?

Honestly, once you told her how the comment made you feel her response should have been to say sorry, not to tell you you are over sensitive.

I would be angry with her, not feeling bad about myself.

She’s not your friend.

😂😂😂 “shrieked in horror” 😂😂😂.
Better to be a sunny orange than a dull grey any day.