Another will one - Interested in opinions and what would you do ?

[whattothinkhere]

I'm going to state the facts on this objectively and would welcome opinions on what you would do in such a scenario:

Two parents, now 80 and 81, of sound mind and good health for their age. Estate of about £300k.

Parents have good relationships with their 2 daughters. However, do not like either of their husbands!

DD1 age 49. Married for some 20 years. 3 children. DH earns about £150k. She earns about £15k from what she describes as creative 'hobby' job. House value is approx £1.5m with no mortgage.

DD2 age 51. Also married for about 20 years. Also 3 children. Does not work. DH earned a lot of money over the years. House worth £6m with no mortgage and considerable family assets accrued.

Parents have informed DD2 that they would like to leave their estate to DD1 as 'she needs it more.' DD2 accepts DD1 probably does 'need it more' but feels, in the same position, she would treat her children equally out of principle (especially as DD1 is not exactly living in poverty herself). However, DD2 has agreed to the plan.

Would you do the same if you were the parents here?

YABU - leave it all to DD1
YANBU - share equally

Should be shared equally. Anything could happen to DD2.

Neither "need" it. So equally.

Leave it equally between each sibling.

Aside from the will- I can;t get over the comment about not liking the husbands. It sounds like both husbands have given the daughters a very affluent lifestyle where both daughters have liked their husbands enough to hang around for 20 years!

Doesn't sound like either child needs it so I would either split it equally, or leave it all to the grandkids

Other than extreme disability of one DC, (eg can't live independently), I would always split my inheritance evenly. You don't know what can happen in the future to change someone's financial position. Divorce, redundancy, significant illness or injury.

They have never liked the husbands. The husbands can't win, if it's not one thing it would be something else.

I think the only way to do it is to split equally, children should be treated the same. None of anyone's business how much they already have.

Inheritance is often seen as a reflection of the way someone loves you, so any inequality can be perceived as not being seen as the same as a sibling, it causes all kinds of heartache.

I think it shouldn’t be left to either daughter as they’ve got very wealthy husbands who afford them a great life by the sounds of it - not having to work .

i would leave it to the grandkids .

Leave it to the DGC

Leave it to a really good charity, neither DD needs it.

Yes I think leaving it to the GC would have been a good idea, but they don't want to do that as there is one child they have decided they don't like (he is only 16).

Why are two middle aged, affluent daughters circling around their parents money? Money that is a fraction of their own wealth.

Their parents might live another 20 years or see all their savings eroded by care.

Why be so focused on taking money from people who for 20 years have made it clear they don't like your husband and now have taken against one of the grandchildren?

It needs to be shared equally, it’s not like DD1 is destitute.

The parents can do whatever the hell they like. Although, if both daughters are financially comfortable, perhaps it would be better to leave all the money to charities?
But, as always, I think the golden rule is not to discuss your Will with anyone, because they'll all try to chip in with an opinion - I really don't know why people do this!

It really doesn't matter neither need it, I would tell the parents to splurge it now on big holidays or get a housekeeper and a gardener and relax and enjoy their lives. Or save the arguments and leave it to charity.

It should be equally split, but I think this is just shit stirring. I know a lot of peole with money like the power of wielding inheritance over people and it in this case neither daughter needs the money. So they have decided to try this nice little shit stirrer. I'd unite as daughters and tell them to stck it.

YABU - leave it all to DD1
YANBU - share equally

I wish there was a third option

GOWYOCLALTPDWTWWTM - Get on with your own comfortable lives and let these parents do what they want with their money.

This!

Both daughters have landed on their feet financially, haven't they?

My XH and his sister had a mother who was likely to rewrite her will at any time. They agreed years ago that they would split it between themselves if one of them was out of favour and was disinherited. Is that possible between these two daughters?

It doesn’t matter who needs it more, it’s deeply hurtful not to be treated equally.

It should be shared equally, unless a parent wants to hurt one child as their passing gift to them.

It’s not about the money. It’s about loving your children equally and showing this.

I’d piss on their grave if they hurt me like that.

The parents sound like pieces of work tbh. Forget all about them and move on with your lives. The fact that they even told you this is manipulative and shitty.

Both DDs have done well for themselves and shouldn't have to worry about the money which is a fraction of both their net worth's.

They should not let it get between them. Tbh I would be reducing contact with them based on the 'dislike' of a child alone. Is there a golden child/Scape goat thing going on? Is the disliked GC a child of DD2? So the pattern continues??

Oh dear! They don’t sound very nice. I would back away from all this.

Good for them. They knew the nastiest could swing either way but they were not having any of her nonsense.

How do you know they're circling around their parents' money? The OP says that the parents have informed their younger daughter what they're planning to do. They sound like nasty pieces of work who are enjoying a bit of stirring. Bad enough that they've taken against both their sons-in-law but now they've decided they don't like their 16yo grandson.

It would be nice if behind their backs the two daughters agree that whatever the will says the estate will end up being divided between them equally, but if the older daughter takes after her parents that may not be possible.

Good luck to all concerned. Ructions ahead!