Pure Cremation is body disposal right?

[josephiine]

The advert makes it sound like it’s a lovely thing and saves money. I get that it’s cheaper but surely that’s because it is literally a body disposal service?
My FIL has just planned his, he asked my husband if he minds which he doesn’t, but it got us talking, am I missing anything?

Not consciously, no; but I reserve the right to choose.

which being interpreted means "I don't agree with it therefore its wrong"

You don’t even have to use a funeral director round here. The local crematorium offers a direct cremation service themselves. They’ll collect and store the body. You can have a service if you want and they’ll provide someone to officiate it or etc. Or they do unattended. About £900 all in for the latter, I think, coffin and paperwork included.

I have specified this in my will. I want my ashes scattered on one of the Scottish islands so have set money aside for my (adult) children to rent holiday cottages on the island, have a holiday, play good music and scatter me!

I’m guessing you aren’t able to view the body? This is one part I’m most struggling with.

will you not have seen it when the person dies?

What a lovely thing to do, AnnieDoodling.

I'd like to hope they make it clear before you sign up that once the body is gone that is it, no further access to it, but the older couple I was referring to didn't realise it, they just thought they would do it locally, and they may be offered the chance to say goodbye at a chapel of rest if they wanted to

@SandyHappyPerson In all fairness to both the company and the loved ones, I wonder if this was more a case of didn't ask/listen/take it in than the information not being available?

Looking at the website they really do make a thing of talking you through everything, even providing a named contact for the bereaved to call, but as such a difficult time it's all too easy to revert to "Oooo I thought they'd just ...", even when the situation's been amply explained

Yes, I’m hoping I would be able to see the body when the person dies in hospital or in care home for example. But what if I’m away? I won’t get a chance to say goodbye

This does happen. I used to work in the NHS and worked in acute stroke care but managed the day hospital where aftercare and ongoing rehab was provided. Patients would swear blind in the day hospital that they or their relis had never been told certain facts about their treatment and prognosis when i knew that they had been told because I had told them. Similarly they would tell community staff the same thing. There are just times when people are unable to hear stuff. Sometimes we would give people information in writing and they would STILL say that they had never been told. I don't know what the answer is.....

There is a scene in Deep Space Nine where benjamin Sisko is told facts that he does not want to believe. He says something to the effect that what he has been told CANNOT be true and the response is "Sisko is looking for a different answer" Definitely true in my experience.

If you go through a local undertakers perhaps you can, we saw my Nanna. My Dad didn’t want anybody to see him in the undertakers so we didn’t but it was definitely an option.

It could be, maybe it was the husband who made the arrangements on their behalf, and either didn't relay the information or didn't understand/assumed what would happen, the wife was absolutely under the impression they would be kept local and they could be viewed upon request, so something went wrong in communications somewhere.. she just thought there would be no cremation service, but everything else would be the same.

Their grown up sons didn't even know it was something they'd even arranged for themselves, so when their dad died it was quite the shock and they were quite upset that he was being taken away. So, upon their mums say so, they did stop him being taken and did it a direct cremation with a funeral director instead.

Maybe it's something people just don't really think about when they arrange it, and I always think viewing the body is more divisive than whether they have a funeral service, especially if they were not there when the death occured, some people absolutely have to visit to say goodbye, and doing pure cremation certainly takes that choice away, I think it is important to discuss with loved ones if it something you want to do.

My grandmother had this, my parents have paid for it already and I’ll be doing the same. Absolutely no fuss. I get why people do but none of us want any of it so if body disposal I’m happy with that.

I agree. Sometimes people have something explained to them multiple times and very clearly but they are just not going to take it on board for whatever reason.

This is why we decided in life to do this - as I said not many friends where we now live, they are all over UK or beyond and no family left. In my day families stayed together in the same town or village but now kids go to Uni, meet others and go to live miles away, maybe on another Continent.
My Grandparents are buried in a graveyard which I have not visited for maybe 40 years and I don't know what state it is in but thankful that I spread my parents ashes - I mixed them together and took them to where they met (they lived next door to each other) school, went dancing, each others work, church they married in, first home, second home and final home.

Exactly this. My nan has arranged for a Pure Cremation saying she doesn’t want any fuss and she likes the fact everything is paid for so we don’t need to worry. However, the fact we won’t be able to see her unless she happens to die in hospital and we are with her is something I don’t feel she has considered. Some people say there is a chance we may be able to view, others say no. I’m going to really struggle if I can’t say goodbye through seeing her one last time. It’s bad enough there won’t be a chance to stand up and say a few words like I did at my grandad’s funeral. No closure.

maybe she doesn't want to be seen after she is dead? You can still have a family get together and speak a eulogy.

She doesn’t have a problem with us seeing her but hadn’t considered this may not be an option for those left behind. Talking afterwards won’t be the same unfortunately.

I want a decent bloody funeral with people attending and a proper wake. I'm not some inconvenient admin task to be contracted out. I deserve it!

then choose that. direct cremations aren't the only funerals you can prepay.

ive just checked out the price of a Co op funeral and they start at £2,195 for a funeral with mourners in attendance, it is their basic funeral without cars, without flowers, without choosing the time at the crematorium. A basic coffin dn heater and everyone makes their own way to the crem

the direct funeral is £1495

This is how I feel, the body is a container for who we are and when we are dead (I hate the word "passed" when someone's life has ended), it fails, gets diseases, is fatally injured and then the person is gone. I have seen a few dead bodies and even a few hours after death it is obvious that the person and all that made them them has gone. I have had a lot of bereavements in the past 18 months so think about this a lot, the mystery of where they are now other than in the memory of those who are still alive. They say we die twice, once physically and then again when the last person who remembers you when you were alive also dies

I know a little about Pure Cremation through my work.

They will collect your loved one and take very little care of them. Potentially no attending to the body . Unlikely to dress them etc. You definitely wouldn’t be able to view your loved one to say goodbye.

No way would I use them. Go for a normal FD with an unattended funeral.

And organise a Celebration of Life at a time and once of your choosing if you wish.

Many 'normal' funeral directors offer direct cremation and I'm sure they treat the bodies exactly the same.