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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To keep my three nephews up all night?

161 replies

Upfiner · Today 21:40

I am having my three nephews over for a sleepover. They’re six, just turned two and five months. The eldest has slept over a few times but not the younger two.

Instead of wrestling them into bed I am planning to let them stay up as late as they like. I’ve always done this with the eldest and he loves it and usually falls asleep at about 10:30pm. I’ll obvious have the baby in his crib but I’ve got a huge corner sofa so I’m going to bring the duvets down and we can just have a slumber party downstairs.

I told my friend who has two sons and she thinks that this will impact their whole week and their schooling and routine and probably exam results and future careers.

I’m not going mad am I? This is fine for one fun evening?

OP posts:
Chunkybabythighs · Today 21:40

The only person you should be asking is the parent.

AnneLovesGilbert · Today 21:41

You don’t mention what their parents think.

Whoddathoughtit · Today 21:41

I’d say if it’s a Friday night go for it, the little ones will likely crash out early doors anyhow?

ThePoisedOpalBird · Today 21:42

Upfiner · Today 21:40

I am having my three nephews over for a sleepover. They’re six, just turned two and five months. The eldest has slept over a few times but not the younger two.

Instead of wrestling them into bed I am planning to let them stay up as late as they like. I’ve always done this with the eldest and he loves it and usually falls asleep at about 10:30pm. I’ll obvious have the baby in his crib but I’ve got a huge corner sofa so I’m going to bring the duvets down and we can just have a slumber party downstairs.

I told my friend who has two sons and she thinks that this will impact their whole week and their schooling and routine and probably exam results and future careers.

I’m not going mad am I? This is fine for one fun evening?

I am a very uptight mum when it comes to schedules etc but when my dad and sister have my toddler everything goes out the window and they run the show how they want (usually with a lot of TV, snacks and a late night). It has never caused a problem for me the next day.

Wonkybaby · Today 21:42

You’ll be bitterly regretting that when they all wake up at 6am and are tired and cranky from not getting enough sleep.

Upfiner · Today 21:42

Parents couldn’t care less! They’re just delighted to be having a night child free. They have never issued instructions, they trust me.

OP posts:
ShhhYouDontKnowMe · Today 21:43

Are you looking after them for the entirety of the following day as well? I wouldn’t have loved being handed back an over-tired toddler the morning after, personally!

Happyhappyday · Today 21:43

I mean keeping a 2yo and a baby up late sounds terrible for everyone (an overtired 2yo and baby may then struggle to calm down enough to go to sleep) and I would not let you have my kids again if you did that because I’d be paying for it for several days afterward. If it’s been ok with the 6yo, why not let him stay up as a special treat and put the others to bed? The baby and 2yo sure as shit won’t see it as a special treat.

Smartiepants79 · Today 21:44

Tonight? What are they doing tomorrow? Is the eldest going to school? Are you looking after them all day tomorrow or expecting their parents to pick up the pieces of a very tired set of kids.
In theory it’s a fun idea. The youngest two are not old enough for it though in my opinion. The elder one but not on a school night. As a parent I’d be unimpressed if you were bringing them back to me to look after for the day if they’d had no sleep!

Upfiner · Today 21:44

Whoddathoughtit · Today 21:41

I’d say if it’s a Friday night go for it, the little ones will likely crash out early doors anyhow?

The baby won’t know what’s going on. The two year old will be excited and want to be with his brother. I can’t see any point in wrestling him into bed when he can just stay up till he falls on the sofa.

OP posts:
Upfiner · Today 21:45

ThePoisedOpalBird · Today 21:42

I am a very uptight mum when it comes to schedules etc but when my dad and sister have my toddler everything goes out the window and they run the show how they want (usually with a lot of TV, snacks and a late night). It has never caused a problem for me the next day.

This is what I’ve promised. A Toy Story marathon, lots of chocolate and takeaway pizzas.

OP posts:
Bellesbest · Today 21:46

I would bet social services are involved with this family

if anything - their judgment re who they leave their young children with is appalling

Thankfully though this will all be the vivid imagination of a thoroughly bored and lonely OP

HappyAsASandboy · Today 21:46

I don’t see a problem with this while they’re so little. They will all be asleep by 10.30 just on the sofa instead of in a bed. Obviously you need to keep the baby’s sleep space safe so no sofa for the baby!

I have always “let” my kids stay up for New Year’s Eve. Before about age ten they fell asleep waiting. Staying up late is so so so exciting that they’ll remember it forever, but in reality they’ll sleep.

Prep their parents though! The kids will report back that they “stayed awake all night” even when they slept well. They will remember the exciting plan to stay up all night far more vividly than they’ll remember sleeping!

You sound like a fab aunt Grin

WallaceinAnderland · Today 21:47

You can't let the two year old sleep all night on the sofa. It's a suffocation risk.

OneNewEagle · Today 21:47

I used to do similar. I’d have mine and two or three other little ones. We’d do a big sleepover. So special things, no bedtime, special foods, a film, a big bubble bath and they’d all share my double bed (I’d have the sofa, there wasn’t anywhere else they could all sleep). I think they slept longer like that tbh then we’d get up for breakfast then a picnic in a park. Was lovely.

Bellesbest · Today 21:47

Upfiner · Today 21:45

This is what I’ve promised. A Toy Story marathon, lots of chocolate and takeaway pizzas.

I am guessing you must be very bored and lonely tonight

Upfiner · Today 21:47

Wonkybaby · Today 21:42

You’ll be bitterly regretting that when they all wake up at 6am and are tired and cranky from not getting enough sleep.

With the eldest his mother rang last time at 8am and was surprised we didn’t ring back until 9:30. She had assured me he’d be up by 6am. He sleeps in because he’s been up late.

OP posts:
Elphamouche · Today 21:48

Wouldn’t bother me! Have a lovely time ❤️

DiscombobulatedHedgehog · Today 21:48

Ugh, it sounds horrible. It would have undone all my hard done work on sleep routines etc and I simply wouldn’t have allowed sleepovers if this was going to happen. Every family is different though and it sounds like you and the parents are fine so meh.

Upfiner · Today 21:48

ShhhYouDontKnowMe · Today 21:43

Are you looking after them for the entirety of the following day as well? I wouldn’t have loved being handed back an over-tired toddler the morning after, personally!

Absolutely not. They’re getting handed back late morning.

OP posts:
TheChosenTwo · Today 21:48

I think it all sounds fine, I was really relaxed as a parent with dc bedtimes (they did have them but would quite happily be flexible for weekends, sleepovers, going out with them etc, we were definitely not strict routine parents) and if someone were looking after all 3 of ours we were usually just bloody delighted about. So what if they’re a bit crabby the next day, we had a great night out without them! Just how we felt anyway.
The likelihood is, as a pp mentioned is the 6yo will love it, the 2 yo will crash naturally and the baby will just be a baby and do their own completely made up thing anyway.
I’d be happy as a parent with this.

Pinkflamingo10 · Today 21:49

You sound like such a fab fun aunty !
would you like to have my three small boys too ?!! Thanks

Upfiner · Today 21:49

Happyhappyday · Today 21:43

I mean keeping a 2yo and a baby up late sounds terrible for everyone (an overtired 2yo and baby may then struggle to calm down enough to go to sleep) and I would not let you have my kids again if you did that because I’d be paying for it for several days afterward. If it’s been ok with the 6yo, why not let him stay up as a special treat and put the others to bed? The baby and 2yo sure as shit won’t see it as a special treat.

The baby is so little I’d keep him with me anyway. The two year old absolutely won’t go to bed willingly with his big brother downstairs.

OP posts:
Upfiner · Today 21:50

Smartiepants79 · Today 21:44

Tonight? What are they doing tomorrow? Is the eldest going to school? Are you looking after them all day tomorrow or expecting their parents to pick up the pieces of a very tired set of kids.
In theory it’s a fun idea. The youngest two are not old enough for it though in my opinion. The elder one but not on a school night. As a parent I’d be unimpressed if you were bringing them back to me to look after for the day if they’d had no sleep!

Not tonight! A Saturday night.

OP posts:
Onlyyoucanknow · Today 21:50

Its hilarious that someone thinks it will affect their future careers! Of course its ok for one evening. The eldest one is going to be too excited to sleep anyway and maybe the 2yr old too.

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