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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To keep my three nephews up all night?

184 replies

Upfiner · Yesterday 21:40

I am having my three nephews over for a sleepover. They’re six, just turned two and five months. The eldest has slept over a few times but not the younger two.

Instead of wrestling them into bed I am planning to let them stay up as late as they like. I’ve always done this with the eldest and he loves it and usually falls asleep at about 10:30pm. I’ll obvious have the baby in his crib but I’ve got a huge corner sofa so I’m going to bring the duvets down and we can just have a slumber party downstairs.

I told my friend who has two sons and she thinks that this will impact their whole week and their schooling and routine and probably exam results and future careers.

I’m not going mad am I? This is fine for one fun evening?

OP posts:
Redpaisley · Yesterday 22:15

ThePoisedOpalBird · Yesterday 21:42

I am a very uptight mum when it comes to schedules etc but when my dad and sister have my toddler everything goes out the window and they run the show how they want (usually with a lot of TV, snacks and a late night). It has never caused a problem for me the next day.

Sounds like a fun evening for all.

TallSturdyGirls · Yesterday 22:16

Bellesbest · Yesterday 21:46

I would bet social services are involved with this family

if anything - their judgment re who they leave their young children with is appalling

Thankfully though this will all be the vivid imagination of a thoroughly bored and lonely OP

Edited

Absolutely. I think that if this were real it would be in the news. People like this deserve to be shot.

Namechangerage · Yesterday 22:16

Bellesbest · Yesterday 21:46

I would bet social services are involved with this family

if anything - their judgment re who they leave their young children with is appalling

Thankfully though this will all be the vivid imagination of a thoroughly bored and lonely OP

Edited

Are you ok??? Jesus wept.

oberuber · Yesterday 22:17

It is in the word: sleepover, sleep is over. So of course, they stay up.

TotHappy · Yesterday 22:18

Oh you guys 😂 my kids stay up late often. They have a bedtime, but go over it more often than not. If we’re travelling, 10.30 is by no means unreasonable. And at 5 months, the baby would just be sleeping on me anyway, no bedtime. They don’t get up at 6 either and never have.

Upfiner · Yesterday 22:19

ScotiaLass · Yesterday 22:06

Good luck OP. At two years or five months my kids wouldn't have tired themselves out and fallen asleep on the sofa. Without a familiar bedtime routine they'd have gotten over-tired, whipped themselves into a frenzy and stayed up screaming. That's what happened first time I left my eldest overnight with his Dad at 13 months. DH had plenty of experience of caring for him including on his own but DS would not settle and literally did not sleep all night, eventually falling asleep after 6am when DH put him in his highchair to give him breakfast. Wasn't the last time it happened either.

Well I’m a night owl. The eldest never stayed up screaming and I doubt the two year old would, but if he does so be it. He’d have nothing to scream over though, he can do as he pleases.

OP posts:
Upfiner · Yesterday 22:20

Floppyearedlab · Yesterday 22:08

The parent who has farmed out her two very young children plus an older child for her sister to cope with. Why do they need a sleepover? Unless she has had some sort of an emergency, why does a 5 month old need to sleep anywhere other than his own cot in his own home? And same for the 2 year old tbh.

Get a grip. She’s allowed a night away with her husband. Good grief.

OP posts:
Redpaisley · Yesterday 22:21

Bellesbest · Yesterday 21:46

I would bet social services are involved with this family

if anything - their judgment re who they leave their young children with is appalling

Thankfully though this will all be the vivid imagination of a thoroughly bored and lonely OP

Edited

Social services for kids going to bed a little on a rare occasion ? 😮

globalswimmer · Yesterday 22:21

That sounds lovely

Livpool · Yesterday 22:22

I’d do it. Baby and 2 year old will probably zonk out anyway and the oldest will be made up!

Upfiner · Yesterday 22:22

Floppyearedlab · Yesterday 22:13

Yeah it’s always a ‘night out’ isn’t it.
What’s wrong with an afternoon date at the weekend until the kids are a bit older?

She is staying out all night! Not even sleeping in her own bed. They are going wild.

OP posts:
SoSoLong · Yesterday 22:23

Sounds perfect. The only thing I'd be concerned would be the older ones disrupting the baby's sleep. Other than that, have fun!

Shoobadadoo · Yesterday 22:23

I do think it’s strange and uncaring to leave a 5 month old (and 2 yo). I have similar age children and would only let my eldest sleep away for the night: the younger two would be with me. Baby in particular

Livpool · Yesterday 22:23

Bellesbest · Yesterday 21:46

I would bet social services are involved with this family

if anything - their judgment re who they leave their young children with is appalling

Thankfully though this will all be the vivid imagination of a thoroughly bored and lonely OP

Edited

Are you ok?!

AirportParking · Yesterday 22:24

This is one of the reasons I have never liked my children staying over night with other people. A relative once let my youngest eat themselves sick on sweets while desperately trying to be the 'fun one'.

I know everyone is different and some people wouldn't mind, but I would hate it. My children would also have taken a good few days to get over it (still would and they are 11 & 13!). Depends on the kids I guess!

I wouldn't be calling social services on you though 😉

JustWalnut · Yesterday 22:24

YABU. Even as a babysitting auntie, I am counting down the minutes until bedtime!

Upfiner · Yesterday 22:24

Federica1864 · Yesterday 22:15

I think it depends on the kids. Mine are early to bedders. I tried let the 7 year old have a late night on NYE and she made it to 9pm by which time she was laying on the sofa looking blurry eyed and asking me to take her up. She wouldn’t find being expected to sleep on the sofa all night fun at all. Maybe your nephews are more night owls.

If I were in your shoes I would get them all down at their normal times and then go to bed and read my kindle so I was in the room with the baby.

I’m definitely not going to bed at the same time as children.

OP posts:
IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · Yesterday 22:24

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Stinkybooks · Yesterday 22:25

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I think what you’ve said is make believe.
I wouldn’t feed my young nephews pizza and chocolate and then have a slumber party but plenty would/do. With their own kids too.

Not what I’d do but not a disaster.

Social services haven’t got the budget to intervene in a situation as trivial as this - even if it was a regular occurance. It’s not neglectful or abusive anyway. Just not ideal.

ThreadGuardDog · Yesterday 22:25

Upfiner · Yesterday 21:51

Do social services usually investigate aunties letting their nephews fall asleep on the sofa?

Only on MN !!

SoSoLong · Yesterday 22:26

Upfiner · Yesterday 22:01

I also once gave the eldest a chocolate yoghurt for breakfast. I tried to give him eggs and soldiers but he swore blind his mother gave him chocolate for breakfast, so who was I to argue?

Might ring SS myself.

Ring SS, this is all you've got to say for yourself? This is prison territory already, hand yourself in.

Rememberdragons · Yesterday 22:27

How are so many people losing their minds at this thread??

Op @Upfiner I think it's lovely that you take all three and give them such a fun night.

Goinggreymammy · Yesterday 22:29

Floppyearedlab · Yesterday 22:13

Yeah it’s always a ‘night out’ isn’t it.
What’s wrong with an afternoon date at the weekend until the kids are a bit older?

Or even a normal night out and babysit children in their own home? Why does a night out now seem to mean overnight to so many people?

Upfiner · Yesterday 22:29

Shoobadadoo · Yesterday 22:23

I do think it’s strange and uncaring to leave a 5 month old (and 2 yo). I have similar age children and would only let my eldest sleep away for the night: the younger two would be with me. Baby in particular

Be a bit awkward for them to be sleeping in the pub though.

OP posts:
Timeforachange26 · Yesterday 22:29

Floppyearedlab · Yesterday 22:08

The parent who has farmed out her two very young children plus an older child for her sister to cope with. Why do they need a sleepover? Unless she has had some sort of an emergency, why does a 5 month old need to sleep anywhere other than his own cot in his own home? And same for the 2 year old tbh.

Maybe she wants a night out without them. You may not have any life apart from your kids but other people do