To stop brushing 18 month olds teeth

[notaurewhatusername]

I’m looking for advice.

my DC will not let me brush his teeth every night without me literally now feeling like I may hurt him with the fight he puts up. I cannot stop his arms pushing me away he tosses and turns his head then clamps his teeth shut. If I do eventually force it in it lasts maybe 10 seconds max. This has happened every night since he turned one and it’s getting worse. My concern is that if we continue pinning him down and restraining him, et cetera is he going to become traumatised by brushing his teeth and then it’s going to become a lifelong issue for him? I don’t know I’ve never had a child before, please tell me someone else has had this situation. What did you do? I have tried cartoons that talk about bad teeth I’ve bought books I have listened to toothbrushing songs I try and get him to watch the telly when we do it. I have tried everything and I’m not sure where to go from here. Do I just continue to literally almost feel like I am fighting him or just let his teeth rot seriously I am concerned about this.

can you let him do it himself?

Letting his teeth rot would be neglect.
lay him down on the floor put your legs over his arms and go for it. It’s your responsibility as a parent, the tears of him needing teeth extracted will be far worse than this small battle

He has to brush his teeth. Wrap him up in the towel like a burrito and gently straddle him if you can't hold him with one hand. Tell him it is time to do teeth. He can open his mouth and we will do it quickly, or if not there will be less time for playing/stories/TV/park. He understands more than you think. Also worth explaining he needs to do them so they don't go black and get sore. He'll be much more upset if he has tooth decay and needs teeth out.

Have you tried lying him on his back on the floor with his head between your legs? It's sounds cruel but it's not.

Can you let him have his own tooth brush to "do them himself" and even just chew on then you "finish it"? It's quite possibly a teething issue and finding a path through is the aim. But no you can't stop trying

Just persevere op. He wont be like this forever. Teeth brushing is non negotiable.

we have similar struggles but tv does work for us - we obvs limit screen time but have to use it for her teeth as she had all of them by 18 months. We use the hey duggee, mr tumble, wiggles and other teeth brushing videos and we can get at least a minute done at a struggle!

Literally every toddler does this

he will not be traumatised from basic hygiene

you’re not pinning him down to give him a needle or something

do not neglect his teeth

Old fashioned reward chart and stickers with picture of a much coveted (small) new toy as the end goal?

Will he not do them while he's in the bath?

Have you tried his favourite character toothbrush etc? Show about an electric one?

I used similar to this (great for teething too!)…let DS do it himself then I ‘checked’ with brush to see what a great job he’d done!

https://amzn.eu/d/0aY7WQtz

I was in this position and spent a few months using a different teddy every night as a puppet ie the teddy ‘held’ the toothbrush. I gave them each a different voice saying silly things and singing songs while I did it. Took effort but took the stress out of it for both of us and we’re now a decade down the line and haven’t looked back. Good luck.

This but also let him brush yours, and buy books about brushing teeth.

Don't worry too much about the full two minutes just now, the aim is to try to get him happier to brush.

Does he hate mint toothpaste? Get him to taste the strawberry paste. Also get him to 'brush' with his finger. Tell him to be in charge and tell you which ones to brush.

Set aside twenty minutes for it, do it much earlier so he's not overtired, try to make it fun. The whole family can do it together.

Yeah I used to hold him tight and brush his teeth. I'd sit him in front of me facing the same way, put my legs over him, hold him tight with one arm and brush his teeth with the other. Hes 5 and brushes himself most of the time. Sometimes I do a top up if he does a crap job or hold him still and brush them if he won't.

You can't just not brush them. His teeth will rot, and that will affect his adult teeth too. DS has one tooth starting a cavity already in one of his back teeth that I'm worried about. But my ex wouldn't ever brush his teeth and gives him fizzy pop in the night if he's thirsty so I'm fighting a losing battle as it is.

My eldest has been a big self-care refuser. But my stance is, you have to brush your teeth, hair, wash your body, face, hair. These aren't optional. You either do it yourself or I will but you don't get to choose not to look after your body and I'm not allowed, as your mother, to not look after your body.

Google toothbrush mouth guard and thank me later

I used to hold my child up to the mirror in the bathroom cabinet in order to persuade her to let me clean her teeth. Everything's a phase! You need to brush your child's teeth though.

Oranurse flavorless toothpaste and a vibrating toothbrush was a game changer for mine .

We gave DD (3) an electric toothbrush for Christmas and this has helped though yes, do still have to pin her down sometimes :/
The kids electric toothbrushes are supposed to be for 3+ I think, but a friend of mine gave hers one at 18m and said it stopped the fights.

Like someone else said it's a non negotiable. Rotting teeth are very painful and I'm sure if he hates the feeling of someone brushing he'll utterly hate someone prying his mouth open to do injections and drilling and wrench them out. Little kids also struggle with having the holes left behind when teeth are removed so get lots of infections, all this would be infinitely worse than doing the fight.

I used to lie mine down, head between my legs and arms pinned and I'd brush. Every time I'd give him the choice to do it himself and if he refused, it was lie down then I'll do it. If he ran I'd have to make him.

To be honest this went on until he was about 4 and he was cognitively able to understand his teeth would rot if he didn't do it. He's a super happy and lovely teenager with good teeth so I don't think he's been traumatized by it. If I asked him I imagine he'd say he's glad I made him as he's quite vain about his looks now and broken rotten tooth pegs would probably compromise that.

You may well have tried this but DD likes to roar like a dinosaur (or like Raa Raa the Noisy Lion). And say "Duggeeee", "cheese" etc. At least it works on some days! Also, do they dislike the taste of the toothpaste? DD likes the brush baby apple one but wasn't keen on a minty one

YABU, it’s a non negotiable and many parents have to pin toddlers/young kids down. Not brushing his teeth will result in tooth decay/pain/ potentially a general anaesthetic for removal and counts as dental neglect. It will get easier OP

I had to pin my daughter down at this age and persevere - her dad couldn’t bear it and would go out of earshot! She’s 44 now and never had a filling!

That's a really nice expression. You aren't allowed to not look after your body and I am not allowed to not look after your body.

I'm going to nick that and use it :-)

YABU, it’s literally your job to get this done. Woman up OP

I lay my 20 month old down on the floor with my legs over his arms and his head between my legs. He hates it and screams and flails the entire time, but at least he has his mouth open!

DP and I also brush one other’s teeth in front of him and make it look really fun so hopefully he wants to join in