To stop brushing 18 month olds teeth

[notaurewhatusername]

I’m looking for advice.

my DC will not let me brush his teeth every night without me literally now feeling like I may hurt him with the fight he puts up. I cannot stop his arms pushing me away he tosses and turns his head then clamps his teeth shut. If I do eventually force it in it lasts maybe 10 seconds max. This has happened every night since he turned one and it’s getting worse. My concern is that if we continue pinning him down and restraining him, et cetera is he going to become traumatised by brushing his teeth and then it’s going to become a lifelong issue for him? I don’t know I’ve never had a child before, please tell me someone else has had this situation. What did you do? I have tried cartoons that talk about bad teeth I’ve bought books I have listened to toothbrushing songs I try and get him to watch the telly when we do it. I have tried everything and I’m not sure where to go from here. Do I just continue to literally almost feel like I am fighting him or just let his teeth rot seriously I am concerned about this.

Teeth cleaning is one of the few things I will die on a hill about. Its non negotiable. Either I do it or you do it but either way it gets done properly twice a day.

I used to wrap mine in a towel after their bath (hands & legs inside) & then do it for them if they wouldn't open their mouth nicely. They soon learnt that it was easier for then to open their mouth as I was doing it regardless.

Now, DC1&2 are adults with lovely teeth (not a filling between them) & DC3 (8) can still sometimes be a pain about it but knows Ill do it properly if they dont so does do it after a bit of a moan.

Start as you mean to go on - they won't remember all of this when theyre older anyway!

I think it’s really normal at this age. Hey duggee have a toothbrushing song I think - we used to play the video and song while brushing our shrieking squirming DD then gradually she got used to the process and calmed down. I think a regular song or video lets them know there’s an end point and makes it familiar.

Yeah its horrible woman-handling them but necessary! My DD is 3, she has continously gone through phases of being a terror and letting me brush them no problem.

The vibe at the moment is running round the house and refusing to open her mouth so I do have to pin her. I also take her teddies away. And give her a sticker and lots of praise when she does a good job. She wants to do it all herself at this age but I still need to do a good job on them first before letting her have a go.

It's an absolute pain in the arse but teeth are non negotiable! The awful phases don't seem to last long in this house anyway so hopefully he'll be better for you soon 🤞

Can you not bribe him? Or distract him rather than force? Put something on on your phone or iPad that he loves to watch? I think there are loads of other options that do not involve force.

Oh also agree with a PP about getting a toy or teddy to 'hold' the brush! I also used to let her 'brush' mine whilst I brushed hers when she was about that age and I think that worked well

You can’t stop but you can take the pressure out. Try anything and everything for a few days.
Here we had/have a mix of:

• Taking turns to brush each others teeth while counting to 6
• A variety of brushes and he can pick who’s doing his teeth today (spiderman, paw patrol, Elsa etc)
• No teeth brushing = no park/tv/garden play etc
• Random tooth brush—along videos and songs
• Competitions - who can brush their teeth fastest? Who can make the most noise while you brush? Sing a song while you brush and the other needs to sing along.
• Totally random but my LO also likes to play dentist and vet. Dentist - lie on the sofa, I make a big fuss of asking him to say ah, open wide, shine a torch in there to have a look etc then talk about his teeth as I brush. Vet - very similar except LO pretends to be a dog, I pat his head and rub his belly while I brush.
• Brushing while in the bath/bed/sat downstairs.

It’s all silly nonsense and there will be days when none of this works but keep trying.

Have you tried a flavourless toothpaste, like Oranurse (search that word on Amazon and you’ll get to it)?

That made a huge difference to my DS.

Our dentist did say you have to just keep trying - if it ends up that you just get a bit of toothpaste in their mouth then at least you’ve done that. But I mean you have to try you best to do it properly, but don’t panic if on a particular night it doesn’t completely work - not to interpret it as “just put a bit of toothpaste in their mouth and have done”.

We have the same problem and have to tag team where one of us has him between our legs and brushes while the other entertains him and makes him laugh (raspberries on his belly, read a book in a really silly voice, pretend to gobble him up and absolutely anything else we can think of). It’s the only thing that’s really worked for now, and some days are better than others.

Lay him down on the bed with his head between your legs, pin his arms under your legs and so his legs can kick free. You have both hands free to hold his head still and brush his teeth. This has worked really well for me. I sing silly songs to him whilst I brush.

On my third baby boy now. No one is ever allowed to skip teeth brushing here. In recent years there has been a huge increase in numbers of children with rotten teeth that are painful and needing extractions. By brushing teeth you’re protecting him from this. Not brushing their teeth is neglect.
have you watched ceebeebees hey dugee tooth brushing song and episode ? The song is exactly 2 mins long to time a tooth brushing session.
i let mine pick their toothbrushes and paste in the shop.
let them do a bit themselves and then take over to ensure all teeth clean.
if totally refusing then wrap their body and arms in a big towel like a burrito or sandwich wrap, hold them in front of your chest, in front of the mirror and brush !
good luck.
if you’re in Scotland the nhs childsmile does the fluoride varnish from 2years old to help protect teeth also.

I used to lay my little ones across my lap with their head just off my leg, base of head supported by my leg. The gravity meant their mouths naturally opened and I would just settle for getting the brush and paste to touch all their teeth on tough days.

Sorry I should have added I always give him a toothbrush and it doesn’t help. It’s when I go in he is just choking on the spit and really clamping his teeth shut I have to pry it in and even then I literally cannot get more than 10 seconds.

i physically cannot unless I hurt him. Wrap him in a towel and he clamps his mouth tighter

Would it be reasonable then to just brush at night? Rather than twice a day for now until he maybe relaxes a bit.

im surprised he still protests given it’s been going on months I’d have expected him to accept it by now

See how traumatized he is after having teeth removed under anaesthetic

I highly doubt he’s let me get that in. But I’ll try

Pin him down he’ll be fine. We had to for my six year old when he was younger. He either doesn’t remember now or is so not traumatised that he doesn’t bother mentioning it. It was horrible at the time but now as horrible as it would have been to watch him have his teeth removed!!

He does not yet talk or fully understand bribery. Yes I’ve tried iPad/iphone/ doigie toothbrushing episode/ Dougee book about tooth brushing…

I wrap my 16 month in a blanket with both arms down and pin her down and brush.

third child. I don’t feel precious about any more but I don’t remember my elder two being this bad. I wouldn’t absolutely not let teeth rot. The surgery to remove them is very painful

No it would not be reasonable. Stop being lazy and defeatist and brush his teeth!!

I’ve always been told by the dentist not to force it.

Wrap burito style. Straddle. Brush. If he clamps pinch nose gently to open. It’s a phase and will pass but rotten teeth will hurt like hell.

My similarly aged child started refusing the toddler brush so I've gone back to a fingerbrush, we listen to the Jules brush your teeth song and I let her try to bite me because it makes the process fun for her.

what I have to do is definitely force quite severe. It’s the clamping is his mouth moving of the head side to side.

It’s really physically impossible I feel without him choking or me hurting his gums due to force as once I get it in I’m under pressure and have to move quickly and forcefully. He’s teething too so I imagine it’s painful for him

@RitaFireshe does tolerate finger brush better but I worry about it being ineffective as the bristles are so soft?

Talk to your dentist about it and see what they say? Our dentist said the epidemic of young children having teeth removed under general anesthetic is mostly due to poor dietary habits. So while the brushing is important, remember that you can do an awful lot to protect your LO's teeth before you even get anywhere near them with a toothbrush.