To stop brushing 18 month olds teeth

[notaurewhatusername]

I’m looking for advice.

my DC will not let me brush his teeth every night without me literally now feeling like I may hurt him with the fight he puts up. I cannot stop his arms pushing me away he tosses and turns his head then clamps his teeth shut. If I do eventually force it in it lasts maybe 10 seconds max. This has happened every night since he turned one and it’s getting worse. My concern is that if we continue pinning him down and restraining him, et cetera is he going to become traumatised by brushing his teeth and then it’s going to become a lifelong issue for him? I don’t know I’ve never had a child before, please tell me someone else has had this situation. What did you do? I have tried cartoons that talk about bad teeth I’ve bought books I have listened to toothbrushing songs I try and get him to watch the telly when we do it. I have tried everything and I’m not sure where to go from here. Do I just continue to literally almost feel like I am fighting him or just let his teeth rot seriously I am concerned about this.

I use the Pokémon teeth brushing app for my kids. The dentist suggested it.

You’ve probably tried it @notaurewhatusername but have you got an electric brush? You can get one with characters on. I really struggled with my DDs teeth as she hated me brushing them but she’ll just about tolerate it from an Elsa electric brush!

I know what you mean about choking, when they are throwing their head around and you’re loving a toothbrush it’s easy to hurt them without meaning to. I do think gentler methods work best.

my son was exactly the same. I did find a hack though…. I used to swaddle him up in a towel and brush his teeth that way 🙈. Like most things with young children, one day he just grew out of it and started to let me brush his teeth!

You should absolutely not neglect to brush his teeth but don't use physical force like some have suggested!

There's a few gentler ideas like letting him pick out a shiny new toothbrush and toothpaste for himself at the shops, find a toothbrush song or video on YouTube, do a star chart. If all else fails show him photos of kids rotten teeth online!😫

@darkbyeightyea he has electric toothbrush with a light on it but I haven’t tried character ones yet I’ll give it a go

Evening teeth brushing is the most important so def prioritise that one. But it’s got to be done, by force or otherwise.

My view is at this age you just do what you can do when you can do it, don't make it a fight, if they get a bit of toothpaste in their mouth somehow or another, job is a goodun.

I found variations of the following works:

me + toddler cleaning teeth opposite each other,

letting toddler clean my teeth, then I have a turn and do their

letting "toys" clean their teeth (you hold toothbrush in the hand of the toy),

letting DD clean DS teeth,

pretending you've spotted something and you need to brush it away (i pretend i spot all sort of silly things in there and "quick let me brush it away" so it's a game)

standing in front of a mirror

give them toothbrush + paste in front of tv so they absentmindedly put it in their mouths for a bit

let them do it themselves and ask for 'a turn'

Both my kids HATE electric/buzzing toothbrushes

God this speaks to me, both my kids were like this. We had to do it as a team I.e. I would cuddle them (restrain their arms…) and DH would do it. It’s really difficult!

The strawberry toothpaste helped us, now he's older he can tell me that mint tastes so strong to him it hurts, even in the really bland kids toothpastes

we had the same thing, although it was mostly around 2 that it got really bad.

These things helped:

• We put up a photo in the bathroom of a random child brushing their teeth (it’s from a Lovevery set, we bought it on vinted).
• And got a reusable sticker chart, gets very excited by the sticker.
• We got a different toothpaste (now use the oral b one).
• mostly let him start himself and then get hold of the end and ensure we scrub it for 10 sec or so. He likes chewing it.

The above combo works for now, if the next phase of non brushing hits, I’m considering:

• An electric toothbrush with lights and music etc.
• Creating a little independence station with a mirror etc. All v Montessori 😅

Anyway, don’t beat yourself up if some days are skipped or some days are a quick brush. The pinning down method and forcing it on him just made it worse and he wouldn’t come near a brush so I’ve gone the “gentle” route

My DS is autistic and refused. I tried pinning him a couple of times but he was strong and could have really injured himslef. I got a u-shaped brush that he chewed on himself and gave him a normal one straight after to chew on. Tried encouraging him to let me brush in a fun way rather than forcefully. He started letting me brush them at 5 for 100 seconds, he loves numbers so the counting helps. He's had a check up since (refused all check ups previously) and his teeth are perfect. So I would advise you don't push it hard, go in gentle and take your time. Encourage him to brush himslef, make sure he's not having extra sugar and that he has plenty of calcium. Tooth decay is usually a result of lots if sugary snacks and juice, the less there is of that the less plaque there is building up.

Have you brushed your own teeth at the same time? My nephew refused teeth brushing for a while and when I asked my brother if nephew watched them brush their teeth he said no. So basically as far as nephew was concerned someone was poking a stick in his mouth.

Oh yes this worked too, I held him up to the mirror and then gave the brush, and we’d brush together. Looking at himself distracted him a bit.

Give him a manual toothbrush with nice paste on and let him do it himself. Surely unless he has sugary stuff it will be fine. Lots of plain water after all foods as well. With my DC (now adults) used this method. DD no fillings at all until early 20s DS none until 12.

I think finding something that he will allow on his mouth is a good first step, even if the bristles are too soft for long.

I think a manual toothbrush is better for this age, the vibration and noise of an electric one could be too much stimulation and a sensory overload.

Also, have you tried letting him clean you teeth? Could you and his dad take it in turns to brush each other's teeth In front of him

Oh my, my 2 year old is a nightmare we have to keep trying new things each week 😂🤣 last week it was lets find the dinosaur hiding behind a tooth with the brush. This week it's if he lets me brush them for him twice a day he can have a gummy (child vitamin) each day 🫣

Teeth brushing is a hill to die on. It’s absolutely non-negotiable.

None of those suggestions will do f all with an 18 month old. You do just have to pin them down.

Where is the gentle parenting with all the pin them down suggestions?

I told my daughter there's a dragon in her mouth and I have to get it out 😂 Then she realised there wasn't and I went back to pinning her down. She's 4 now and we don't struggle any more

Electric toothbrush with Spider-Man heads
sorted this for us and strawberry toothpaste

my 5 year old will only brush hers sitting on her bed at the moment and again she’s got a frozen electric brush and the strawberry tooothpast 🤷‍♀️

I chose my battles to make them
seem in control of my he situation like sometimes the older one says no I only will brush after my book so I’m like ok then and and as soon as the book gone I bring the toothbrush in and she sighs then does it

I do still once a week sort of hold the 2 year old down so I can be sure we’ve done a more thorough job - but mostly he’s just doing it himself - at least it’s better than nothing I think anyway 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

If he'll tolerate the finger brush do that, most important thing is getting flouride toothpaste on his teeth.

And be really strict with his diet for the time being - no raisins or dried fruits, no crisps, puffs or crackers.

Have you got one of those bendy silicone baby toothbrushes? Can you distract him with Peppa Pig or a game. I feel like I crept in and brush my children’s teeth when they were asleep sometimes, but maybe they were older than 18 months!

Finger brushing is better than no brushing.

So many kids in my reception class are having to have teeth removed! I’m sure there’s more to it than not brushing but anything is better than stopping.

If you stop it may become even more difficult to brush his teeth (if that’s possible).