Am I unreasonable to resent my husband's work from home desk taking space?

[TwinkleTwinkleX]

I live in a 3 bed flat with husband, 5 year old and 1 year old daughter. We have a big bedroom and 2 other rooms that are fairly small. The plan was for my girls to share a room initially (can fit two beds or bunks) and leave the other room for a play room / dressing room for them. If them sharing doesn’t work out we’ were going to move baby into own room. My husband recently got a new job and annoyingly it’s mainly hybrid (turns out he’ll be working from home most the time)
it’s good because he’ll be able to do school pick ups etc more but he needs a big desk for 2 monitors+ laptop. Am I being unreasonable to find it annoying? I am just not keen on all his work stuff taking over our flat and him not being able to switch off as easily. Also would it be better to put big desk in our bedroom or cram into kids playroom do you think? We spend most the time in lounge so don’t want it there. Any tips for making wfh feel less intrusive and desk that keep things organised but don’t take up so much room/ look nice?

Having a desk in a shared living space doesn’t work. You can’t keep small children hidden away.

Would a garden office pod be feasible?

Otherwise your options look like:

1 desk in your bedroom and children have their own bedrooms

2 both children share biggest bedroom, you use one of the smaller bedrooms as a bedroom, and 3rd bedroom becomes an office with clothes storage (ideally your husband’s) in there.

Do NOT let him use the playroom/3rd bedroom as you will never get it back and your kids will end up sharing a room for their entire childhood (unless you move somewhere bigger). It’s not ideal but I’d put his desk in your bedroom. Ultimately (not in his first few weeks) if there’s not enough space at the office I’d ask his work to fund a coworking space elsewhere. An adult working from home with small children around is a nightmare for all and he can use the argument that he’ll be more productive.

I have two monitors and a laptop on a 120x60 cm desk. Monitors are wall mounted and the desk is an antique, leather topped table. Some decent cable management (a tray clipped under the table) and it doesn’t need to be an eyesore.

Ive seen an even better set up where the docking station is in a desk drawer and the laptop just slides in and connects in the drawer. The other drawer stores the keyboard and headphones etc when not in use. I haven’t been able to make that work but it’s a great idea.

Seems obvious to me; the DC share, your DH has the other room as his office. It’s completely normal for kids that age to share. Where I live, it’s also normal for DC to share until they go to university. You don’t need a playroom. The DC play in the living room. You’ve got years before you might want to think of the DC having separate rooms.

Do you have the space for a room in the garden ,one of those home office rooms?

I’d want the kids to have their own bedroom over everything else - a 5 year old does not need to be woken up by a baby / toddler. I’d then plan it all round that.

I think YAB a bit U to be annoyed as you say the WFH will enable him to do school pickups which is surely really useful.

I would give him the smallest bedroom as a home office and not bother with a playroom. At that age our DC wanted to be wherever we were, and that was the lounge, so a playroom wasn't a good use of space.

Why would a baby/toddler be waking them up? At that age, babies sleep right through. My DC shared when one was a baby and the other a young child with no problems. We had room for them to have a room each but we thought it important and nice for them to share. They got their own rooms when the older one was about nine, but many of their friends continued to share rooms until they left home.

How big are the other bedrooms? Could you put the girls in the big one so it could be a bedroom/play room, then you have another one as your bedroom and the other one as an office? I really wouldn't want to work in my bedroom and would prefer a seperate office so I could clock off, shut the door and not have to think about work until the next day. If my office was in my room I;d be constantly thinking ooooh I forgot to do that.

I suppose it depends on the children. Neither of my dc (now aged 23 and 14) were good sleepers. If they’d shared a room they would have been constantly waking each other up.

Can you get a larder style cupboard to have his computer stuff in that can be hidden away at night?

Many one year olds don’t sleep right through 😂😂

Do you want your kids to share a room? Could you consider giving the kids the biggest room, so they can play in their, you and dh using 2nd and box room for desk and soring seasonal clothes so you don't need so many in bedroom. I guess the baby still plays in living room so perhaps the toys could go in box room for rotation

They don't generally. Mygirls are 3.5 years apart. Neither woke the other

What would your plan be for school runs if he had to go into the office every day?

Screen or room divider?

The worst thing about hybrid and WFH is that it’s been effectively forced upon many of us without us actually having the space to do it! I literally can’t get in the office full time as there aren’t enough desks for anyone and if you don’t book well in advance it’s full so you can’t change plans at short notice. I’ve made it work but it’s not ideal, but I also can’t afford to somewhere with a dedicated home office space. Lots of our younger staff
live in shared flats and need more days in the office or they really don’t have space to work.

2 monitors doesn't have to take up a huge amount of space. I've done it with a bureau before!

Is it 2 external monitors PLUS his laptop monitor or will that be closed?

I found it worked well to use laptop and second screen above laptop screen on the bureau shelf.

Screens can also be wall mounted! There are lots of options here.

I'd scrap the playroom and have an office instead. Do they actually use the playroom at those ages or is more just storage?

Cupboard desk in your bedroom maybe .

Move to a bigger house.

Think about the positives. He can do pick ups that must be a saving in childcare etc. I think that yes the desk maybe a bit of a pain but the flip side is better. Stick in your bedroom and stop moaning

You are bu as you like all the advantages of your DH working from home but not any of the disadvantages, when wfh he needs a quiet space large enough for his needs.

I wfh from a very small desk in our bedroom. I use my laptop screen and a second screen and it's fine. DH is a teacher so he and the kids are home all holidays and working from the bedroom means I can shut myself away from them and they can use the house however they want.

I don't have any issues with working and sleeping in the same room

kids share room, smallest room becomes office. no brainer. kids aren't at the age of needing own rooms and having an office in bedroom is a seriious killer - it's like being a student again. you are adults. you need work space. your kids do not need a room each, or a playroom. the front room is their play room, or their bedroom. they are not teenagers with a need to be separate from you,