To think it's impossible to work full time and keep a clean/tidy house without a cleaner?

[FishfingerFlinger]

I feel like I'm constantly desperately trying to keep our house from falling into complete squalor, panicking about unexpected guests when the place looks like a bombsite and it's all generally getting me down.

If you're generally keeping on top of having a presentable, clean house while having a full-time job, DC, but without paying a cleaner...HOW DO YOU DO IT?

Like, really break it down for me - what are you doing, when are you doing it, how much time does it take? Where am I going wrong?

(and before anyone says its a DH problem - he more than pulls his weight, has a demanding full time job and is also managing a renovation project on the side so he's swamped).

I honestly don’t agree. If you keep up with it everyday you should rarely (if ever) need to do a big clean. I spray and rinse the shower down every night before bed, for example. Mirror is cleaned after teeth brushing. Floors are swept and mopped every night and only take a minute or so. Bin emptied whenever the main kitchen bin goes out (so once or twice a week) and that’s it, really.

It’s a too much stuff issue usually. If everything hasn’t got a really easy home then you will constantly live in chaos moving things around. I think having non-negotiable tidy areas eg entrance hall, kitchen island, is kind of key. One our hall goes sideways the rest of the house slips in about 3 minutes. Cleaning is really quick - it’s the tidying that takes hours.

100% we have a "too much stuff" issue.

I've been trying to get stuff on more of an even keel over the weekend as everything had really descended into a total pigsty and I've got it back so it feels like I can start chipping away at maintaining and improving rather than totally overwhelm - I had a spare hour last night so went through my wardrobe and pulled out some things for charity/vinted (and being ruthless about only bothering with vinted for stuff that's really saleable). Got to keep it moving today and actually get the charity bag out of the house and the stuff listed on vinted, otherwise it becomes part of the clutter!

I'm guessing you don't live in a hard water area. My shower needs limescale scrubbing off it, not just 'spraying and rinsing', and while in theory I could do that every day, I can't see how it would save time vs once a week.

Also how on earth can sweeping and mopping the floors only take a minute or so?

I feel your pain. My shower, kitchen sink, all the taps/plugs and the toilets (3 of them) need Viakal or the black Domestos stuff once a week. It stinks!

Because if you do it everyday, it doesn’t build up into a big job that takes up loads of time. We use a limescale spray in the shower - I spray it on, brush teeth and get ready for bed then rinse. No need for any scrubbing as nothing has the chance to build up in 24 hours.

And floors easily take a minute - we only have two rooms without carpet (kitchen and bathroom) and they’re right next to each other so I just sweep through then spray mop 🤷‍♀️

To add, of course everyone prefers to do things differently but I can’t think of a worse way to spend my weekend than having to spend four hours in a row doing housework, so I spend half an hour before work and half an hour before bed getting things done which frees up my evenings and weekends to do other things.

I also grew up in a house where all the jobs were left until Saturdays and I absolutely hated it, which definitely has an influence on my behaviour now!

Easily take a minute probably means a few minutes and whilst that isn’t much it also adds up. What about vacuuming your carpeted floors?

You must have a really minuscule bathroom and kitchen. It takes me a minute just to go and grab a brush and a mop from the cupboard.
I agree in principle, and I do the same with small daily jobs. And this was one of the arguments to get rid of all the carpets in the house because by the time I run the hoover around the place, I would easily clock 5k steps. Now I can quickly sweep and mop a room per day which still doesn't take "a minute" but is a lot less work.

I vacuum every morning as we have a dog and two cats - it takes maybe five minutes (downstairs only) and then we do upstairs once a week.

It’s a small two bed terrace so yes, nowhere near the size of house most MN-ers seem to inhabit!

For us I think it helps that the 15 yr old pulls his weight as an adult would do... For example we all handle our own laundry (within reason, we do help each other!) and rotate turns when it comes to communal stuff like towels, dishcloths, etc. We also rotate kitchen clean-up duty each evening depending on who cooked or who is busiest with other things that day (the teen often gets a pass on this due to homework or club activities).

And we all whip around for 5 mins every night tidying whatever is out of place. Everything has a place, which is fundamental I think.

A kind of unwritten rule has evolved where we each (daily) vacuum one room, clean one significant surface, whoever is the first out of bed unloads the dishwasher, and we all tidy as we go (like a splash of toilet cleaner and whizz-round with the toilet brush every day if you're the last to use the bathroom in the morning).

This came out of a chores routine that DS was paid to do when he was much younger and has now become ingrained. DH picked up the habit of little-and-often along the way.

I'm also a ruthless declutterer and DS takes after me, which wins out against DH's packrat tendencies.

Ok but for me all of this adds up to more time than what I want to spend each day cleaning on top of my full time job and everything else I need to do. I also have all of the daily tasks of tidying/ cleaning up after food, the actual food prep, dishwashers, laundry a few time a week, tidying away toys, food shopping etc. A cleaner comes for a few hours a week and in my view that is a few hours me or my husband would need to spend doing additional cleaning in the week and I prefer not to have that.

That clearly makes a huge difference, surely you can then see that it might take others longer. Vacuuming and mopping the floors daily myself is definitely not a few minutes.

If anyone has some good suggestions for how to housetrain an ADHD child I am all ears - he'll do things like grab an apple, eat it wandering round the house and then I'll just find the apple core lying around somewhere.

that's not ADHD specific, that's just children 😂
Keep repeating everything so it has stuck by the time they have their own place!

It's even more importat to have a tidy home around them, they learn by example and a clean house is their "normal" and it's more obvious when their school bag is dumped in the bathroom, their muddy kit is in front of the fridge (why?😂)

kids, teens, it's part of our job. As long as they know how to behave when they are invited somewhere, it's all that matters, the rest will follow eventually.

it's priority isn't it?

How long do you spend on MN? In that time, what could you have done? And then you're free for everything else that is not chore.

My friends house, with three kids and both with full time jobs, is always immaculate. And it’s because the kids have inherited their parents love for order. They don’t leave crap around. When they were younger their toys were confined to one room and put away when done. As a family they don’t leave a cup in the sink, some papers on the table, a towel bunched up. When my friend cooks she measures out all the ingredients into different bowls and tidies everything up BEFORE she even starts to cook. Nothing is ever out of place. However, they still manage to have an inviting home - it’s not like you are walking into a showroom afraid to touch anything. They even have a dog. They are quite high energy people in that they don’t laze around. They are up and at ‘em.

Yes exactly it’s priority, I choose not to prioritise it and get a cleaner instead as if I prioritise it I have spend less time to spend on other things. I find those other things important to stop me getting stressed and stay mentally healthy and have some time to spend with my kids

Exactly this. I think the majority of people who say it’s impossible choose to prioritise other things - which is fine, but at least be honest about it rather than claiming nobody can possibly keep a clean house while working.

That’s just being a child isn’t it? You just need to keep telling him over and over again (ie. make him go back every time) until it becomes a habit.

Ok let’s rephrase it. Keep it clean, spend time with kids, get some sleep and stay sane.

Of course, but that’s the norm for everyone in my life - all these huge homes that are apparently impossible to clean just aren’t on my radar 😂

It’s doable but I only managed it by being really organised and it was tough when the kids were little my routine was
Monday Bathroom 1 and downstairs toilet
Tuesday - dust whole house ( hated this day)
Wednesday bathroom 2
Thursday kitchen
Friday night off cleaning
Saturday all bedding
Sunday big Hoover and mop
everyday I did a load of washing and hung it out and put away dry stuff from previous washes
everyday we would do a quick today up to pick up surface stuff
non stop was how it felt - kids are adults now and at uni and it feels so much easier now!
before everyone says why was I doing it all - husband works very long hours and does all the weekend cooking and cleaning to make up for it and he does the garden which I hate
re - deep cleaning that happens at the weekend when we feel we have to

And that’s fine! It’s absolutely okay to have other priorities and to pay for a cleaner instead, BUT that doesn’t mean it’s impossible, which is what OP is trying to claim.

I prefer to spend my money on my hobbies or going out with friends and DH, so for me, half an hour twice a day to keep my home clean is very much worth it.