To think it's impossible to work full time and keep a clean/tidy house without a cleaner?

[FishfingerFlinger]

I feel like I'm constantly desperately trying to keep our house from falling into complete squalor, panicking about unexpected guests when the place looks like a bombsite and it's all generally getting me down.

If you're generally keeping on top of having a presentable, clean house while having a full-time job, DC, but without paying a cleaner...HOW DO YOU DO IT?

Like, really break it down for me - what are you doing, when are you doing it, how much time does it take? Where am I going wrong?

(and before anyone says its a DH problem - he more than pulls his weight, has a demanding full time job and is also managing a renovation project on the side so he's swamped).

YANBU. I work part time and had a cleaner up until July, when she moved away. I decided I didnt want another cleaner & now do it myself on the same day she used to come. I now spend 3 hours cleaning the house. If I didn't have days off in the week I personally wouldn't be able to manage. Weekends are for recuperating after shit work.

I dont have a cleaner and between me and my husband it is always clean and tidy. We both work full time - well, I work 6 days a week and technically have 3 jobs. H doesnt work Monday / Tuesday so will do washing, mop the floors, clean the bathroom. I dont work Friday morning so will clean from top to bottom.

If im WFH I will put the vac round or washing out or clean the kitchen on my lunch break. DS is a bit scruffy but will keep his room clean if bullied into it.

I am sorry that some people find it overwhelming but I love having a tidy house and if it was a tip it would negatively impact my emotional wellbeing so if I get a stretch of free time I would always do a bit of cleaning. And H was raised right so pulls his weight!

I have no moral objection to getting a cleaner, I've had a cleaner on and off before but the budget won't stretch to one at the moment.

I always struggle to understand why people struggle

but Don’t have “on the side activities” for a start. hey let’s work full time and then add another job and then wonder that we don’t have time

Clean up mess as you go.
one person would cook and one would clear away and dinner was eaten and cleared up in an hour. Kitchen is clean.

piles of laundry and junk at the bottom /top of stairs - take things up and down every time. A load a night - we had cheap night electricity

Friday evening - alarm on, and everyone joins in the blitz. One adult on bathrooms and one on dusting, vacuuming and scrubbing anything that needs it. Beds can be changed by the kids and they tidy their rooms annd their stuff from wherever ( or it goes in the bin).

All done in less than an hour.

shopping - 1.5 hrs to plan and execute. One evening. Whilst kids in hobbies

Some stuff happens every other week not weekly - scrub the banister and around door handles for example or skirting boards

shoes off in the house

fridges, cupboards, deep clean - save a holiday day

An hour a week on slitting boards and they are dusty 48 hrs after? blimy. This must be part of the problem - some houses are dustier than others. We have a relatively new build

but it doesn’t take me an hour to walk a fluffy duster over every bit of skirting board. Perhaps a 10 minutes every other day would be more effective than an hour a week ?

Well, honestly - do you really think the vast majority of people just live in filth?

I think a lot depends on the vast differences in free time in people’s lives.

in particular, what full time means to different people.

if you work 9-5 in a local job (1 hour commute total) that could be only 45 hours per week.

for a lot of people, their full time job is more like 60 hours per week (not including commute)

so there is a discrepancy of at least 15 hours in which the 9-5 group may fit cleaning into.

I also do all my laundry in one day where possible. If not I wash on a Saturday morning and then it’s dried by Sunday morning and I iron and put away on Sunday (time dependent on what else is going on!) I don’t have piles of laundry, each bedroom has a laundry basket and they are used.

I have a 2yr and 7yr old, both me and my partner work full time.
We keep on top of house work by doing little and often during the week and then a big clean over the weekend. I'll usually spend a few of hours on a Saturday or Sunday blitzing whilst he entertains the kids and spend about 30 mins in the evening tiding to keep on top.

Laundry - wash always on in my house - timer set every morning for it to finish just as i arrive home - hung up soon as i get in - a basket for everyones clean/dry stuff and the 5 year old helps me put the stuff in the right baskets Mammy,daddys & hers and brothers) - i fold these later in front of the tv and usually put the stuff into the right drawers/wardrobes just before i get in bed or first thing in the morning!

My robot hoover goes around every evening after dinner

do the sinks and loo in batroom when the kids are in the bath

do a whole big hoover of the flat one evening a week usually and run around with the spray mop right after i do that - this is usually while husband is playing lego with the kids or bathing them

whichever one of us isn't putting the kids to bed cleas up after dinner / dishwasher loaded/unloaded / counters wiped / toys away

everything has a place though we spend a good few weekends putting out full sections of the house and decluttering - so nothing in the whole house doesnt have a home! this makes things easier i think

You can find £40 a week somewhere!

What if you cut out alcohol for a couple of months?

Downgrade a few brands in your groceries?

Start selling your clutter? You could aim to make £40 on Vinted and see how much effort that takes etc. Children's things sell really well in my experience, plus puzzles and random shit in your house. I was shocked by how much I managed to shift!

Squeeze in one car boot sale this year while the weather is still good.

Use Sprive for all your shopping so you get cashback on your mortgage? (LMK if you'd like a referral code for a lil treat for us both).

Look into it you can upgrade your phone plan? Mine had crept up to £27 pm and I've got it back down to £8, SIM only, 80gb of data. You just need to threaten to leave normally to get a good deal with your current provider if you don't want the hassle of actually moving.

Likewise, can you get streaming services "free" anywhere? I don't pay for Disney as it's a perk of my credit card, I'm sure there are options for Netflix and Spotify as well.

Where there's a will, there's a way!

I've never understood exactly how people's houses get to be shitholes, especially if you're out at work and kids are at school...

You're not doing anything wrong, and no man would ever ask this. I'm not casting aspersions on your husband, I'm sure he pulls his weight. However, I have never heard of a man hesitating about outsourcing help. I have had a cleaner for years and I make no apology for doing so. Life is too short to sweep floors, clean shower drains and sort laundry. I've got things to do.

How about if your a full time cleaner and live alone can you honestly find time to clean your own house?

For us, clutter can be the issue.

Bit waht I find is the challenge is the accumulated dirt outside of the every day spaces. So, for example, the cobwebs build up around windows and ceiling corners. And it's just not something I'm doing routinely on my usual whip round the house. So that must be done otherwise it gets bad.

My cleaners don't clean the bannisters or door frames even though I have asked repeatedly (separate conversation) but it doesn't get done routinely by me in my day to day either. So that's a "bigger" job.

I do cleaning cycles in the dishwasher or do a quick wope down as well but last week I realised it had got very manky around the hinges and spent some time.

My point is that even if you're doing day to day cleaning, which I absolutely am, if I don't do proper deep cleaning sometimes and/or get my cleaner to do it, the house just gets dirtier and grimier and you can feel it.

I get what you are trying to say about the difference between effort and routine, but your issue is that the coat and bag storage is not right by the front door.
So you have unnecessary effort built into your routine.

If the bag 'lived' on a designated shelf two steps inside the front door, it would be just as easy to dump the bag 'away' on its shelf as dump it on the floor. Likewise, a coat hook another half-step beyond the bag shelf mean that the only difference between dumping a coat on the floor and putting it away on its designated hook is quite literally lifting one arm for one second.

Yes, it is hard if you have a narrow entrance hallway and lots of family members, but even with four DC and a DH, you just need a shelf big enough for 5 bags, and hooks for 5 coats.
Out-of-season coats and jackets live elsewhere. Get rid of excess coats.

Tips: make sure the bag shelf is no bigger than needed for the bags, or it just becomes another dumping ground. Make sure the coat hooks are low enough for young DC - have two rows.

It is possible. I did it, but it is very tiring. 🤷‍♀️

Honestly, I don't get it either.

Every family I know has two working parents, no cleaner and precisely none of them live in mess or filth.

Neither have I but believe me, unless the house is cleaned a lot more than ours is, the filth builds up from somewhere.

And despite what half of MN seems to believe, it's not easy to keep on top of, and many people hate every single second of it so they have no enthusiasm for doing it.

Except many people do find it easy

Personally, I find that once you're in a routine of doing it, you don't even think about it. It just becomes normal that on Friday you strip the beds or on Tuesday you clean the bathroom.

I ask my kids to body double me. They both know I need a little help getting started. It can be too overwhelming setting them their own tasks and managing those on top of my own work (all ND), but I have found if I give them an easy job like hold open a bin bag while I go round collecting rubbish, or passing them the recycling to put out, or pile clean clothes up into whos is whos while I fold, it helps me...it keeps me company, helps me get started, keeps me to a time as I know they will loose interest in about 30mins, but also I can make requests that are easier when we are in the moment as they can also see what I am trying to achieve...like in the kitchen I can usually say do a quick wipe of the sides while I do the dishes and it is more natural and obvious than if I set that task as just one of their to dos. I hope that all makes sense.
I liked reading Dana Ks book. And sometimes I watch a cleaning / decluttering video to get me in the mood (!)
I have saved up for a declutterer / organiser to come and visit, so I hope that will help to.
I like getting everyone involved, even though they don't always do very much, it just works for me. If all 3 of us work for 10mins together it is easier and better and nicer than me working for 30 mins on my own.
Hope you find your own way :) it's a pretty thankless task!!!

Where does this 'filth' come from though???
We have dogs and horses and somehow my house isn't a cesspit/health hazard and I've never had to employ a cleaner...

I honestly think MN has ridiculously high standards or they do absolutely nothing to maintain their homes everyday and then wonder why it takes them forever when they do get round to it.

It’s possible to an extent but you need to reduce / minimize all clutter and everyone in the house has to help or at least not sabotage.

If only it were £40! The current price for 3.5 hours cleaning (which isn't even enough to get round the house) is £85. Nearly £4,500 a year! More than our summer holiday!