AIBU to let my adult nephew move in after rent rise from my sister?

[YearsOfLife]

My nephew is 24 and has been working full time for about a year after finishing university. When he first started working full time, my sister was charging him £500 per month to live with her and her partner. She has now told him he needs to pay £800 per month which he isn’t happy about as he is trying to save for a house deposit as well as having other costs and wanting to socialise. He spends a lot of time at work or with his girlfriend and friends so I do think £800 is a lot.

Our children are similar ages and my nephew has asked if he could live with us, paying £400 per month. We are happy for him to live here but it is causing a huge problem with my sister and her partner. They don’t think we should allow him to stay with us.

On the one hand I can see why my sister thinks we shouldn’t get involved, but on the other, he’s our nephew and an adult and if we’re happy for him to live here, he should be able to.

My sister has accused us of trying to make money from him which is untrue as we don’t charge our own children anything to live here and IF we take anything from our nephew, it won’t be £400 per month. This isn’t about money for us. I agree with my nephew that £800 is too much and want him to be able to have a life and save like my own children.

AIBU to say he can live here?

Tbh, youre in between a rock and a hard place.

If you do this you may ruin your relationship with your sister but I can see why youd want to help

Id be inclined to ask DSis why shes increasing it, and talk to her about why you might let him stay before making a decision

You’re all adults and your nephew is lucky to have you. Your sister sounds really mean!

I suspect it has to do with her partner.

Looking at it objectively, as someone with no skin in the game, I say it's a simple matter of a man needs somewhere to live and you have the space/resources/will to have him take a room in your house. Why wouldn't you?

She wants him out. He's moving out. So what's her problem?

I wonder if she thinks that him moving in with you makes her look bad.

He’ll just be doing a house share with his aunt! :) for a much better rate and enabling him to move out quicker long term

Um - your sister is trying to make money out of her son. Of course offer him a place to rent if you like him

You are a lovely aunt.

His mum is not nice.

I think (assuming he’s just got a room in the house and not a separate granny annex type thing) that £800 is really excessive to charge your DC when they are responsible and trying to save.
I think it’s perfectly fine for you to have him come live with you.

Speaking as a mum of a 24 year old, who works full time (mostly from home), does his own washing, and is away most weekends, I would hate it if we got to the situation where he didn't feel welcome at home, but if we did I would be grateful if someone I knew took him in so I would know he was in a safe situation.

I would charge your nephew rent, but if you don't need all of it, save it for him and give it back when he moves out.

In this day and age my son can stay here as long as he wants. He's a good lad and very useful as a taxi driver as he doesn't drink 🤣

She's being unreasonable. £800 is far too much anyway, but if he can find somewhere cheaper (even if it's with you), why would she object? Is she trying to teach him some kind of lesson? Or is she annoyed that she won't make so much money out of him?!

In which case, why would the sister object to him living with OP?

I'd say yes but maybe agree a time limit. Live with us for a year or whatever...

I'd be tempted to ask dsis how much profit she reckons you are making on £400?
Add another £400 and that tells you her profit.
Nothing wrong with expecting an adult child to pay their own way, even if you wouldn't do it. Profiting though seems underhand.

Does your sister have high housing costs?
Not always appropriate to compare,, people's circumstances are hughly variable.
800 pcm is 200 pw which is very cheap for housing /food /bills.
Relevant if sister has minimum income.

800 a month is insane! Why do they not want you to take him in? Because they’ll lose an income? Ffs! OP I would 100% let him live with me, take the £400 and fuck her and her partner .. I’m sorry I find them wanting £800 just utterly vile!

Well she managed it before he was earning … £800 a month is a lot!

You are all adults, if he has asked can he live at yours,you are happy to have him,then that's between you and your nephew. Your sister says she won't budge,that's her decision.
Your sister is saying that you are trying to make money off him.... Eh, think she's a bit confused.

Your sister is bonkers and greedy, £800 is wayyy too much. Trying to profit from her son, wtf. I think you shouldn’t get involved, though. He can definitely find a room to rent for less than £800.

I would 💯 allow him to move in. Take 400 pm and save 100 pm for him.