AIBU? Kid's kicking rotting apples in a field / parent had a right go

[TheZanyPanda]

Took my two boys (DS15 and DS13) out for a walk and a picnic in the Yorkshire Dales over the weekend. It was lovely—other families were around, everyone was relaxing, and we found a nice spot in a field to sit for a bit.

After eating, I wanted to read my book for half an hour while the boys let off some steam. Near the edge of the field, there were a few wild apple trees with a ton of bruised and rotting apples all over the floor.

The lads decided to have a bit of a kick-about with them. They spent about 30 minutes mucking about with the already-fallen/rotting apples, kicking them to each other like a football, and stepping / stomping on some. They were in my sight the entire time, weren't shouting or swearing, and were just genuinely having innocent fun.

Out of nowhere, another parent walked over and had an absolute kick-off at them (and then me). She was furious, claiming they shouldn't be "kicking fruit" or "making a mess."

I stood up for the boys and said they were just letting off steam, weren't being rowdy, and the apples were already on the ground rotting anyway so no harm was done. She wasn't having it at all—told me we were "ruining the area for everyone" and said we "shouldn't come back," before storming off.

It totally ruined the atmosphere and has left a really sour taste in my mouth. They're teenage boys having a bit of fun and letting off steam with mushy apples in a field, not vandalism!

Am I Being Unreasonable to think she completely overreacted and was way out of line? Or should I have stopped them?

YBU - They were making a mess and ruining the area, leave the fruit alone. YANBU - Harmless fun with rotting apples, the other parent needs to get a grip!

I really feel for teenage boys who are still boys at heart but described as “intimidating” when they do the same physical activity they need and used to do as little kids.

While I do agree that perhaps this wasn’t the most sensible activity for them- teenage boys are allowed to play without being labelled as destructive and intimidating. They weren’t “smashing up” anything. Let’s drop the hyperbole and recognise that it’s children we’re talking about.

Seems a bit OTT but it would obviously make a lot more mess than the fruit just lying on the ground so i’d have told them to stop after 5 mins or do, but does seem a bit much for her to have a go at them like that.

Initially I thought your boys were small children U10 but discovering they’re teenagers changes things. Whilst the odd squashed apple isn’t crime of the century playing like this for 30 mins isn’t harmless either. It’s not particularly respectful to the environment they’re in or others who may be using it (be it people or wildlife). Teens are far stronger than young children, they have the ability to cause far more distraction and they need to start having an awareness of their surroundings and the consequences of their actions.

Of course you should have stopped them, fallen apples and stomped apples are two different things. Fallen apples tend to fall asleep a whole Apple without breaking into pieces. A stomped apples is smashed up when people then end up walking in, slipping on.
You should teach your kids to be respectful in public areas

What are teen boys allowed to do? Yes, by their very nature they are bigger and louder and more physical than small kids or elderly people or women etc. But does that mean they need to disappear? Or have no outlet for their physicality? They cause absolutely no trouble when they're on tiktok. No wonder we hand out phones and social media to our young people -- it gets rid of their irritating size and physicality as they sit silently hunched somewhere.

Obviously they need teaching that they are louder/stronger than they were when they were 8 so they need more space, to be more aware of their surroundings/the noise they're making. And id stop our boys if they were near a path or a picnic table or making too much noise etc etc.

But this idea that you reach 12 and suddenly have to no right to be present in a public place, or to play is absolutely the reason we are in the middle of a mental health crisis. A 15 year old in many ways is just a child -- ours loves making dams on the beach and finding ways to cross rivers and playing football with non football objects and challenging himself and his younger brother physically. I'm sure when he's out alone he's occasionally a pain because he's 15 and still learning but generally he's a high achieving, emotionally secure, polite cheerful boy.

It's not like they were scrumping on private land, and I assume they won't kicking the apples anywhere close to people or cars? There's plenty of oddballs about, I would have just let the moaner continue on their way and told my kids to pay no attention.

I wouldn't go as far as to tell off someone else's kids, but I have stopped mine from doing it and leave it for the wildlife. It seems a bit antisocial

Is kicking through leaves ok? Or is that also a gateway to aggressively yeeting hedgehogs down the street?

I’m on team this makes a yucky mess. Kicking them round spreads the mess further, making it harder for people to find a nice tidy spot for their own picnic

You said it was a nice area for families, and people were relaxing. Are you sure they weren’t being overly rowdy and boisterous? It’s hard to imagine a couple of teenaged boys not being overly loud while having a kick around.

They were making the whole place off limits to families by filling it with mouldy apples and wasps.

I see your point that it was harmless fun and they were already in the ground but I wouldn’t be impressed - sticky mess everywhere, and it’s just an annoying thing to be doing in a nice quiet place.

YANBU at all. It’s kids having fun. She’s clearly a busy body

People get annoyed with teenagers breaking things. Other kid's bikes, toys left out, even a pram one day in our local rec- the kids just can't let them be, they just smash them up. A constant target are the bicycles the council rent out- always getting their spokes broken. And us oldies can't ask them to stop as they get arsy and their parents get aggressive- 'they are just letting off steam' 'children will be children'.

So was it a public park or a field with a footpath through it? Because if it’s the latter you’re supposed to stick to the footpath, not trespass over the rest of someone’s land.

I get that the apples are rotting on the ground but we’ve only just picked our apples up the other day. I certainly won’t be eating them but Dh says they’re fine for jam. My friend says the pigs will eat them. Picking up whole apples is easier than picking loads of smashed up bits. So your kids have just left a mess behind which potentially someone else needs to sort out. And if they did belong to someone else you have no idea if they were planning on coming and picking them up today.

Not a huge crime but whole rotting and bruised apples breakdown slowly and would have provided food for wildlife.
Birds and small mammal's have had a tough summer and an Apple rotting or otherwise is a gourmet meal.
if you are on other peoples land you should leave it as you find it.

I often tell my children not to touch (or kick!) things that aren’t theirs. But this seems like harmless fun at the edge of an open field, where boys were having a bit of fun in nature (not being on screens!) while mum was watching and reading a book, and everyone around seemed happy. A shame that one woman brought down the mood (maybe she was having a bad day …). Don’t let it get to you OP!

We live in the countryside and this would absolutely not be an issue here - i regularly kick fallen fruit on a dog walk, its utterly harmless. Some people are nutty. I'm not surprised you feel horrid about it, my dd was in the shop queue with my husband and was playing a game where she asks for random stuff and he says yes (e.g. "can i have a helicopter"). An old lady (she obviously didn't realise it was a game, or maybe she did and is a big dick) kept tutting and staring at her saying "honestly". Some people cannot cope with children having any fun at all.
If the apples were going near anyone (they bring wasps and smell) then it's not good, or if they'd been on a tree, or if the noise was out of control - all reasons for someone to politely ask them or you to keep the noise down or play at something else. Otherwise, they can jog on. Nobody should shout at anyone without provocation.

Fallen fruit is late season food for all manner of critters. I'd not let my children kick it about for that reason. It does seem rather disrespectul of the environment.

How refreshing to hear that some teenagers still know how to play rather than just being glued to screens and rotting their brains! Ignore the crazy woman! If I’d have seen that happening, I’ve have backed you up and told her to bugger off.

I saw a women in a cafe shouting at a woman with a baby for breastfeeding and taking up space with a pram once (who I told to bugger off), some people are just nasty.

I can't really explain why but this behaviour would drive me nuts, although I'm not sure I'd come up and say anything!!

Whatever about the apple kicking, YABU to call the ground outside "the floor".
Your teenagers sound lovely, going for a walk and picnic with you.

Why would somewhere be off limits if it had a few pieces of apple in it?

We live in the countryside and kick apples when out on a walk or in our garden (this year has been an awful year for apples and theyve mainly fallen without growing properly so i need them gone from our orchard).
We also rescued a hedgehog from our garden, took her to the animal hospital and then my children fed her every night when we released her. This summer she had babies and we put food out for them too.
Maybe these boys were being noisy and annoying, but equating kicking a fallen apple to maiming a hedgehog is wild.
Don't be nuts, kids know the difference between apples and hedgehogs!

She didn’t need to shout at you. I wouldn’t them make a game of it, it would be messy. I’ve left the windfalls for the bunnies and there are lots that the birds have half eaten. Lots have been chucked over the fence for the deer.