AIBU? Kid's kicking rotting apples in a field / parent had a right go

[TheZanyPanda]

Took my two boys (DS15 and DS13) out for a walk and a picnic in the Yorkshire Dales over the weekend. It was lovely—other families were around, everyone was relaxing, and we found a nice spot in a field to sit for a bit.

After eating, I wanted to read my book for half an hour while the boys let off some steam. Near the edge of the field, there were a few wild apple trees with a ton of bruised and rotting apples all over the floor.

The lads decided to have a bit of a kick-about with them. They spent about 30 minutes mucking about with the already-fallen/rotting apples, kicking them to each other like a football, and stepping / stomping on some. They were in my sight the entire time, weren't shouting or swearing, and were just genuinely having innocent fun.

Out of nowhere, another parent walked over and had an absolute kick-off at them (and then me). She was furious, claiming they shouldn't be "kicking fruit" or "making a mess."

I stood up for the boys and said they were just letting off steam, weren't being rowdy, and the apples were already on the ground rotting anyway so no harm was done. She wasn't having it at all—told me we were "ruining the area for everyone" and said we "shouldn't come back," before storming off.

It totally ruined the atmosphere and has left a really sour taste in my mouth. They're teenage boys having a bit of fun and letting off steam with mushy apples in a field, not vandalism!

Am I Being Unreasonable to think she completely overreacted and was way out of line? Or should I have stopped them?

YBU - They were making a mess and ruining the area, leave the fruit alone. YANBU - Harmless fun with rotting apples, the other parent needs to get a grip!

Apples fall from trees……I’ve lost a huge amount this year…..but they fall directly onto the ground below. Anyone with common sense walking close to the tree would naturally think that the rotting apples were directly beneath the tree canopy and avoid that specific area …….but your children have kicked the rotting fruit and spread it around the area beyond the tree, possibly onto footpaths or an area where people might spread a picnic blanket etc. Personally, I’d be annoyed if I was walking there and got rotting fruit on my shoes or clothes even though I would avoid the area directly under tree because someone had allowed their children to kick the rotting apples!
Learn from this, teach the children to leave nature alone and not spoil places that others want to enjoy!

I’ve noticed that people get twitchy about teenage boys in public spaces, assuming that they’re up to no good when they’re just there, chatting/laughing/playing.

This has been the most natural thing in the world/ for kids to play outside with whatever they find there, amuse themselves and pass the time. I personally think it’s a bit weird to say they’re making a mess - it’s not littering or throwing rotten apples at people’s cars. It’s just messing about under a tree where the fruit is rotting anyway. Ehere are kids meant to play, then???

I wouldn’t let her get under your skin, but can see how it put a downer on the day.

I might take it as a learning opportunity with my boys to talk about how people can get nervous around boys being physical outside. Not to kerb their activity, but do they can understand where reactions like that might be coming from and have an awareness of other people in a public space.

Of course they shouldn't have been doing that, making a mush for others to walk in.

I thought just one child was doing it from your thread title ("kid's"), but it seems both of them were kicking the rotten fruit (plural - kids).

They could let off steam without doing that. Have more care in future.

There was nothing wrong with what they were doing OP.

In general MN dislikes boys, especially teenagers, and especially the ones that play football. If you had 2 girls under 10, and they were picking up the apples, gently squashing them, and moving them around, no one would have a problem with it, even though it would amount to the same thing!

Hard to say without having been there, as to what riled her so much. There are certainly all sorts out there, ready to have a pop for no reason. I know people in the past have had a go at me when I've done nothing at all.

Were they screaming or being rowdy? How far were the rotting segments being kicked? Boys that age have quite the kick on them.

As a pp said, just the sight of teenage boys can instill fear in lots of people. Everywhere I've lived, even though they're nice areas, you get the gangs of teenage boys doing wheelies on bikes and hanging out in huge groups looking intimidating. There's a lovely little skate park where I am, but young boys gather there en masse, and harass everyone passing. When my dog was a puppy, they threw a bottle at him and my partner. No harm done but my partner was furious.

It would make a “yucky mess” in a kitchen yes, in a field - don’t be silly. And people suggesting it’s disrespectful to nature - I can’t even begin to say how ludicrous that is. Today apples tomorrow hedgehogs - how can you type that and not blush at your own hyperbole.

Do you have teen boys by any chance? People are naturally and understandably wary. But I don’t think this is about that.

At their ages they should be able to spend time in public spaces without annoying others. For someone to react like the woman did, they were annoying people. Kicking rotten apples about seems an odd thing for boys of their age to do, SEN excluded.

There are plenty of reasons for the woman to get annoyed and we will never know. But at their ages, I would hope they could find something less mindlessly destructive to do. The 15 yo is just three years away from being a grown adult.

“They're teenage boys having a bit of fun“

Ah, classic

There is a huge issue with littering and damage at beauty spots in the Dales and Peak district. These reviews tell their own story https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Attraction_Review-g499571-d2280149-Reviews-Dovedale-Ashbourne_Derbyshire_England.html
I think your sons have taken the brunt of a frustrated cowards rage. Coward because she'd chosen to scream and shout at 2 nice teenagers rather than the real target of her rage: the various coach trips from Manc/Leeds/Birmingham that are blighting these places.

Can't walkers side step mess as they do with cow pats and horse shit. The countryside is not a red carpet

Family member of mine has an orchard, and uses the fallen apples to make cider. Does leave the rotten ones on the ground, obviously.

I would tell my teens to stop it because their shoes would be disgusting afterwards and there is always the risk that they kick it hard so it lands on someone. How about just playing tag and running around?

It's so sad to see people say they're too old for that behavior, teenagers need free play! In nature. And they don't get enough opportunities. Then people complain about antisocial teenagers, who prob haven't had the chance to play and muck about innocently, just like this! You can't win OP.

If it really made a huge mess and would affect people, the person could have let you know in a much kinder way.

My kids used to play cricket with our rotten windfalls. I can’t see why they are doing any harm so long as they weren’t likely to kick one at someone accidentally.

Nothing wrong with it if they were away from the picnicers. To answer some of the objections: (a) there's no way anyone would be tidying up fallen fruit in the sort of area you describe; (b) animals, birds and insects would, in the main, be able to eat crushed fruit just as readily (and if I know apple trees, the supply of uncrushed fallen fruit would have been topped up within hours).

I'd have told her to fuck right off.

I think the focus on "at least it wasn't a screen" is getting a bit worn on this thread. Lots of anti-social behaviour happens off-screen. You can't exonerate behaviour because it is not on an ipad.

I agree it was ultimately pretty harmless, but personally I would not have let my dc do this for as long as half an hour. It's a sort of destructive and disruptive way to let off steam - and I do think the older one being 15 makes a difference. 11 and 13 I could turn a blinder eye to. If I saw grown adults doing it, I'd think it was really off, and 15 is pretty close to adult.

As I say, if they'd been tempted for five minutes, I'd think "boys will be boys", but half an hour of it must have been making quite a mess and a lot of disruption. There is also the risk of someone getting hit, and by 15 they can throw pretty hard ...

ETA it's the sort of thing I'd expect most parents to smile indulgently for a few minutes of hijinks, but then say "Come on, that's enough of that now..."

The other person hasn't felt the joy of picking up a rotten apple, throwing it in the air, putting the laces through it and getting a perfect connection, then watching it fly for many meters to the admiration of your company.

Annoying when posts are so obviously written with ChatGPT 😡

Also:

"Letting of steam"

Says it all about you and your family @TheZanyPanda.

YABVU