AIBU? Kid's kicking rotting apples in a field / parent had a right go

[TheZanyPanda]

Took my two boys (DS15 and DS13) out for a walk and a picnic in the Yorkshire Dales over the weekend. It was lovely—other families were around, everyone was relaxing, and we found a nice spot in a field to sit for a bit.

After eating, I wanted to read my book for half an hour while the boys let off some steam. Near the edge of the field, there were a few wild apple trees with a ton of bruised and rotting apples all over the floor.

The lads decided to have a bit of a kick-about with them. They spent about 30 minutes mucking about with the already-fallen/rotting apples, kicking them to each other like a football, and stepping / stomping on some. They were in my sight the entire time, weren't shouting or swearing, and were just genuinely having innocent fun.

Out of nowhere, another parent walked over and had an absolute kick-off at them (and then me). She was furious, claiming they shouldn't be "kicking fruit" or "making a mess."

I stood up for the boys and said they were just letting off steam, weren't being rowdy, and the apples were already on the ground rotting anyway so no harm was done. She wasn't having it at all—told me we were "ruining the area for everyone" and said we "shouldn't come back," before storming off.

It totally ruined the atmosphere and has left a really sour taste in my mouth. They're teenage boys having a bit of fun and letting off steam with mushy apples in a field, not vandalism!

Am I Being Unreasonable to think she completely overreacted and was way out of line? Or should I have stopped them?

YBU - They were making a mess and ruining the area, leave the fruit alone. YANBU - Harmless fun with rotting apples, the other parent needs to get a grip!

They were not doing this quietly.

She was off her rocker OP. What a tit.

Yes. I know it’s apples but to me it’s just unnecessary destruction.

I might have said, “It’s nice to see kids having fun outside instead of being glued to computer screens. You’re a good mum.”

Are you serious?

That sounds like a total over reaction. Compared to lighting fires in nearby fields in the middle of the heatwave, I have seen a lot worse this year.

Not to mention, deer, rabbits, foxes…It’s not the garden of a grand house.

I think there’s a bit more to this than “they were only kicking rotten apples.” Fallen fruit isn’t necessarily waste just because it’s bruised or rotting — birds, insects and other wildlife can feed on it, and it forms part of the natural cycle as it decomposes. Kicking and stomping it all over the place means wildlife loses the opportunity to use it and it also leaves the area looking messy.
And if this was a popular picnic area, I think there’s something to be said for simply teaching children to respect the countryside and shared spaces. It’s not about stopping teenage boys having fun or making them sit quietly with a book; they can kick a football around, run about and let off steam without deliberately destroying things that are part of the environment.
One of the simplest lessons we can teach children is to leave a place as you found it — perhaps even a little better. Just because something looks insignificant or “already rotten” doesn’t mean it has no purpose. Personally, I think the other parent had a perfectly reasonable point, even if there may have been better ways of making it.

Hopefully they’ll learn the difference between harmless fun and deliberately harming or disturbing wildlife. Today it’s kicking around rotten apples because they’re “only rotten”; tomorrow, where does that attitude towards living things stop? Perhaps teach them some respect for nature before “it’s only a bit of fun” becomes an excuse for something far less harmless — like thinking it’s funny to kick a hedgehog.

In a field, in nature, rotting apples would be the least of the nasties on your shoes 🤣

Mumsnet is bonkers after midnight. How did you get from rotting fruit to hedgehog? They dont sound like psychopaths.

I never used to let my kids kick apples when out and about as I worried about them being full of slightly drunk, annoyed wasps. I’ve witnessed quite a few shrieks at local community orchard from the Apple squishers/ kickers.

Trust me - I come from a small rural tourist area originally and the locals absolutely do know!

Oh my gosh this is exactly what I think - it’s only apples today, tomorrow a poor hedgehog. Lots of examples of this in the media recently. Respect nature, whatever it is.

Not bonkers at all. All about respect for nature. Clearly lots of people in this thread have never lived in the countryside.

Your sons sound like toddlers.
Do you think people visiting this beauty spot want to see the place in its natural beauty or apple mush?
Also its pretty intimidating to see youths bring so destructive, smasjing up stuff jumping up and down on and booting apples about the place.
Would you want appkr mush smeared all over YOUR lawn?

It’s the Yorkshire dales - the field and tree will belong to someone…

I wouldn’t let my teens do that OP. It is disrespectful and wasteful. Many people will use bruised fruit. It also makes a right mess

This sounds like our teens. We spend a lot of time outside with them and are pretty restrictive in terms of screens so they're good at making up their own games. Said games are sometimes mildly destructive and football adjacent so very like you've described. We always step in if they're rowdy/disturbing others/doing anything that could cause any damage but I like the fact they're outside and can entertain themselves. We occasionally get comments/complaints. I actually think people are really unused to seeing teenage boys entertaining themselves outside (with the attendant physicality). While they'd say they don't like screens and children being inside in their bedrooms all the time they'd actually prefer that's where they are as the they are out of the way.

Stamping on an already rotten apple is hardly a crime, nor is using it as a football etc (presuming as already mentioned that no one is nearby and they're not making an absolute racket). My dad grew up in the 60s/early 70s and wandered around unsupervised playing various mildly destructive games. There is growing evidence that some of his generations emotional resilience came from that freedom. Our horror at an exploded apple is part of our attitude towards a whole generation of children who we'd prefer didn't bother us subdued and "safe" behind a screen. We're destroying a whole generation with this over supervised, anxious parenting. By any measure, our teens and young people are struggling and this is partly why.^^

Can't believe the poll... Deffo harmless fun!

I wouldn’t have complained but I wouldn’t have let my kids behave like that in a public park either. I do think your boys are way too old for that behaviour (was expecting you to say 3-8 year olds) - they should have just kicked a football instead.

I think a good rule of thumb for a public space is that with any activity you’re doing you should leave the place how you found it (or improve it, e.g litter picking).

I wouldn’t let my kids dig holes in the ground for that reason- something they always tried to do with their hands when they were little. Innocent enough on the beach or in our garden, but a nuisance in a public park since the ground is less stable for others. The apples being mushy and bits flung further afield is worse than the situation before your boys found them- so for that reason alone I think YWBU.

No wonder kids can’t go out and about to have a bit of fun.

Haha. Every day when I go running I have to run over rotten apples like this. Next time I might run over a pigeon to see what happens. Ridiculous post.

Nice to hear your boys were getting on and are willing to have fun with each other away from tech OP.

I wouldn't be too keen on my kids doing this, but only because of it getting all over their shoes!
If they are wearing wellies crack on 😆

Sounds like wholesome fun to me. Some people complain about anything...

I agree with this.

if kids can’t even do something as harmless as kick a rotten apple without being told off, then how can they go about life? (I was kicking rotting apples in my own garden the other day at the grand old age of 45. The audacity).