Scenario
My partner (MP) of almost one year and I went on a holiday which we split between 2 (for the most part)
I have 2 kids and he has 1, but we decided to split the cost of the holiday and spending money down the middle.
On the way to the airport, MP mentioned to my son that the tunnel we go through has a toll (£4) and said, "I need to remember to pay that"...I asked him how it is paid, and he said through his account that he has registered. We leave the conversation there. At the time, I thought, at some point he will log in a pay the toll, but we both completely forgot. I don't drive and never have, so anything pertaining to the car doesn't really come across my mind by habit.
On the way home from the holiday a week later, he remembered the toll, but by then he said we would have incurred a fine of £90. I immediately took my phone to see if I could log in a pay, but he said I should try his phone instead. I didnt manage to get into his account because he had 5 of them, and in the dark while driving it didnt seem like the best plan to keep putting the phone up to his face to log into them and see which one worked. I told him either way, I would pay half once he managed to log in at home. I offered straight away to pay half as I felt guilty and sad that he'd got the fine, especially as he is self employed and misses a week of work to go on holiday.
He logged in at some point in time and paid the fine. I have no idea which day because we don't live together. We were talking about other financial things a day or so later via text, and he asked if I'd pay the fine from my Revo bank and I said, I will do it later via Barclays. However, that morning I forgot to do so. It 100% was just an oversight on my part due to be busy.
7 days later, he messages me to say...
"Do you have a problem with paying for half that fine?
Do you think it should be my responsibility because it’s technically “my car”?!"
I wrote...
"I don’t think I should be expected to pay it.
I’d only pay it because I offered to, out of feeling guilty that it was down to our family holiday that you got it. And also because you were so upset, I offered to pay half of it due to how it seemed to sting you at the time.
I don’t feel a responsibility to pay it, because it’s not my car and I am not attuned to all those tolls. It’s not on my mind.
So short answer is, I wanted to pay half to a) account for it being a holiday for us all and b) knowing how upset you were about it, upset me. So I wanted to help.
I didn’t send the money yet, because I actually forgot about it.
But I will do it now"
He said that my response has changed the way he views me as a woman, and that I am not the type of person he wants to be in a relationship with because I should be taking the responsibility of paying the initial toll, as he was driving and too distracted after to do it. My push back was to say that the toll was not my responsibility, we each had separate and shared responsibilities pertaining to the holiday, but I trusted that he would take care of the toll and didnt need my input, despite trying to help.
Is he being unreasonable or am I? He proceeded to call me, shout and me and call me a few names because he believes I should concede and take responsibility DESPITE me paying half the fine (sent the money last night) he still believes I am a wicked person (his own words) for not being willing to accept the responsibility was OURS.