My parents have become insufferable.

[PleasePleasePleaseDontProve]

I am really struggling with my parents. Both are mid-sixties, retired. It seems since retirement they have become quite bigoted, insufferable and insular in their viewpoints. Every time I meet up with them conversations revolve around:

• Illegal immigration / people on benefits / Reform and Nigel Farage. Essentially focussing around the latest GB news story (which they watch religiously).
• Their latest or ongoing health ailments and how poor, in their view, the NHS is.
• Unnecessary and rude descriptions to describe other people (could be random strangers) or people they know. For example, ‘our fat neighbour has put on tons of weight.’

I used to have a fantastic relationship with my parents, particularly my father, and I’m sure he wasn’t always like this. I’m starting to dislike meeting up with them as their attitudes seem to have changed towards life and people in general, and they constantly want to discuss the latest GB News story.

Has anybody else found this has happened to their parents?

I used to read The Guardian but good journalists like Suzanne Moore and Hadley Freeman were forced out because they wanted to report on the threat transgenderism posed to women's rights and Guardian writers started referring to women's conditions as affecting 'people' with those conditions. E.g. people with PCOS. The fact that I didn't know men were being housed in women's prisons because the news I consumed never reported it was the final straw. I do occasionally read the Guardian and the BBC but I balance it with other news sources now. I will never trust them again.

They are NOT ageist at all: these are loads of people’s real life experiences of older parents who have changed beyond recognition as they’ve hit their older decades.

Same thing on another thread about an anti-Irish comment from an older woman.

It’s much more likely that older people will be like this than younger and it’s not ageist to say it. I am so bored of hearing this protest when it’s not the issue at hand.

Which if you’re right is absolutely shocking.

Even on MN I see casual racism quite regularly and the majority of posters tend to be women, pretty level headed and pretty educated.

The fact that it’s more socially acceptable to have these right wing views is so scary.

Myy mums like this, I have to stop her rants and say I didn't buy a ticket to this one woman show thanks. When I balk at her incessant immigrant/nhs litany I'm an uninformed idiot apparently. I'm informed, but there's a knack to living life without some parts of the news taking over ones entire self. It's exhausting and makes it hard to enjoy her company.

She also passes comment on people's looks, and the stories she relays about her few friends would, if you didn't know her, make you think they're her enemies. Slags them off all the time, I say ... do you even like these people? And get a surly yes obviously I do reply. Also ask her is there anything you DO like? She turns anything into a negative, it's almost funny. Almost.

Not my parents but a family member who is in their late fifties. Always posting on Facebook about ' the illegals ' or people coming here on boats. Lots of pro Reform comments.
It has started to give me the rage sadly. He is a nice man but I just don't want to be in the same room as him anymore.

I know we should all be tolerant and respectful around political and of course religious beliefs. But I don't feel able to tolerate what is really racism, populism and ignorance. Which may or not be on me. It is hard when it is your family. 😌

Is it not great that he supports asylum seekers? Why does it matter if he wants to reduce immigration? That doesn't automatically make you racist. Or is there more to it?

This. Radicalised by right wing media

You've kind of described my husband and I. Good for your mum she's not infected yet.

However, I do worry about our grandchildren, the changes are so rapid now. Our children grew up with more freedom at just the right time I think the 80s and 90s. Computers and games were very basic. They didn't have phones until they were late teens. They had more fun I think.

My oldest grandson said Donald trump and Spain popped up on his school laptop this morning, did I know why. He's 11 for heavens sake.

I suspect this can happen when people’s world become smaller with retirement etc. Especially if you don’t make a conscious effort to keep busy with things that aren’t GB news or your health issues.

Hmmm I have a range of people I have to swerve on certain subjects. My best friend has brought up immigrants and small boats 3 times in our past 3 meetings and the number that can fit on a boat grows each time. She doesn’t even live on the mainland, nor do her kids, but this is severely tormenting her and keeping her awake at night. Can’t discuss Trump, Musk, Ukraine with my DH (or apparently Djokovic) or will end up unable to stay married. Can’t discuss religion, politics, immigrants, Covid, vaccines, health, nutrition, yoga, abortion or pretty much anything of note with my DSis and one of our parents. It’s exhausting trying to keep other people off their soapboxes!!

i'm retired and I'd rather poke my eyes out than watch GB news and all my oldie mates feel the same. I've seen the occasional clip and find it horrifying and hilarious in almost equal measure. I read, draw, garden, mix with people from a wide age range . The aches and pains of later life have been a shock to me, but the last thing i do is go on about them as i hate dwelling on the fact that I am not as nimble or as active as I used to be. There was a time I could feel tired but then would just power through it, those days have gone but I try not to whinge and moan about it. It must be hard to see one's parents change so much and horrible to listen to their petty views

Are you my brother? 🤣😭

I have an uncle like this, he's 68. He hates Reform though, a staunch Labour supporter, and used to make rude infantile remarks about Tory women MPs and what they looked like, calling them names. He hates his next door neighbour, who is Chinese, and calls him an insulting name. He also goes on about fat people, being on benefits, tattoos and people on mobility scooters. We try and avoid him but he always does it at Christmas which is pretty much the only time we see him.

Wow, I think we share the same parents?!
especially the random 💩 about neighbours / people who lives on the road… absolutely crazes me!!

I'm getting on a bit, quite like GB news because they tell it like it is. The BBC are biased. I don't read papers, don't need their journalists telling me what to think. Guess what, @ChilliBassy - I'm a 'boomer' too. What have we ever done to you? Honestly, people pounce on the 'boomer' thing. If that means I'm well to do with a big fat pension, forget it, that was the generation before mine.
Myself & my kids discuss politics, we don't come to blows but have wildly differing views. They are oh so sorry for the poor (all male & shady looking) refugees.. well when they are my age they'll be wondering why Britain has changed so much, no way of changing it back then.
I've never voted 'left' in my life. What a shitshow Labour are. And, no, don't assume I'd vote Reform! Or the bloody Greens.. honestly, what are people THINKING?

My mum is a bit like this but a bit older. For a while I thought she had got like this as she got older (not really sure why) but actually, she’s always been a rude bigot with some very out there takes and now she’s older (70s) she doesn’t feel the need to hide her racist micro aggressions/nasty opinions about other people’s appearance/questionable moral compass.

I do get what you mean about it being insufferable. I don’t spend much time with her thank god but when I do I call her out when she’s blatantly in the wrong. And if I don’t my teenagers are more than willing to.

Its called getting old if you are lucky and you dont die young it will happen to you ,

Putting up an England flag is not racist for fucks sake! 🙄

Sounds as if they don’t have enough to do. That’s so sad. Retirement is such a great opportunity to learn new things, get involved in local life, go places. I know I’m lucky to be well, and be able to take advantage of opportunities, but maybe try to encourage them to turn off GB news and look outwards.

You sound insufferable tbh.

Who does?

I know loads of people who grow old without becoming miserable and rude.

I think this is spot on, but I dont think it is just the older generation - we are all more likely to be in a news bubble of things we select to listen to - left or right. We are much less exposed to fair and balanced journalism and debate than we used to be and there is lower tolerance all around.

Are the racists posting on this thread old? -I don't think they are. They are just not very intelligent, not very educated and easy to manipulate and want someone/something to blame rather than make an effort to understand politics or economics. That is all it takes.

Mine are exactly the same, or at least my mum is..but your parents are way too young for these attitudes ! (my mum is 80 and father is 88)
Trouble is now DF is in a care home, they both read the Daily Fail daily and get most of their views from there (the care home gets all the crappy papers in)