DD9 doesn’t like any physical activity

[plaicematt]

AIBU to keep signing her up for things?

Hobbies-wise she’s in choir, Brownies and currently tutoring for 11+ next year. She does swimming but just for the skill rather than exercise if you see what I mean. She doesn’t like any other sport/exercise that we’ve tried.

Over the years she’s done a term here and there of football, cricket, gymnastics and a couple of types of dance but not enjoyed any of them. She has never wanted to learn to ride a bike or scooter. I have two other DC who love all types of sport and can’t sit still so I’m not sure what to do.

She’s got some puppy fat - not sure if this is normal puberty or if due to her low levels of exercise. This puts her just into the overweight band for BMI for her age. She’s tall so she carries it well. I almost can’t believe I’m talking about a 9yo’s weight.

So, AIBU to keep signing her up for sports and getting her moving when she clearly doesn’t want to? And any advice?

What about physical activities that she might not associate as sport? My kids love climbing for example. Or even just making sure you get out for a walk a few times a week. How often does she do sport at school? We used to do a lot of activities at Brownies but no idea what it’s like nowadays.

I have 3 girls. Two like sports, one doesn't. I've tried dance, gymnastics, netball etc, but it's just not her thing. She loves reading, is amazing at art, takes sewing lessons and plays the violin. I am happy that she is doing the things she loves, we would both be miserable if I were pushing her to do sports. Just make sure your daughter eats healthily, swims, walks and does things that make her happy.

Not every kid is sporty, make sure she gets plenty of exercise walk as much as she can and she will be getting PE at school, there is no point trying to force her into something she will hate.

I really wouldn’t push it. Keep the swimming going and try to get movement in without mentioning the word ‘exercise’, like walks and 10 pin bowling.
And my DS was overweight at primary despite being active, the puppy fat literally melted off him in high school when the hormones kicked in.

Has she tried Street Dance? My DS(11) loves it and he doesn’t like sports.

Maybe trampolining or climbing walls?

DH has a physical job. I have a desk job but walk all the time and lift weights in our garage.

My other DC scoot/cycle everywhere while she walks with me (usually complaining). She doesn’t have a bike or scooter that is the right size for her just now and has said she won’t use one if I get her one since held off for now.

Don’t think they do much physical stuff at Brownies. Yes PE x2 week at school.

I cook and she eats everything - has done since she was a baby (I’m not being smug - my other DC are terrible eaters) so her diet is good.

She doesn't need to do a sport to still be fit and healthy - walking is consistently the best exercise for overall health and fitness for humans! Does she get opportunities to walk regularly, like the school run etc? If not can you start building in regular family walks / walking to the shops/ library etc? Between that and regular swimming it will help her fitness.

Don't be fucking rude

I was the same, I hated (and still do) exercise that's just for the sake of it. I don't get the endorphins that other people get so there is no "feel good" effect from doing it. I'm just hot and sweaty and achy and bored and counting down the seconds until I can stop.

Focus on doing things that are inherently fun for her like swimming. One thing that worked well for me is video games that require you to move around - I'm just enjoying the game and getting my "feel good" factor from the game with exercise being a byproduct.

You can get roll up mat versions of those dance machines you see in arcades with the arrows, I had one of those as a kid and loved trying to beat my high scores on my favourite songs.

Games like switch sports, beat saber, just dance, dance mats, ring fit adventure, etc are all good ways to have fun moving around.

Don't force her into a sport she doesn't enjoy but if you find one she likes then encourage it by all means. I agree with trying things. What about fencing. But I think it might be quite expensive and some folk don't like the idea of this type of sport.

Stop trying to make her into something she isn’t. I would have hated if my mum pushed me into sports when I didn’t like them.

🙄

Do you have any concerns about her motor coordination or development generally? If so it might be worth having an OT assessment.

Could you walk to and from school and go to the park after school a couple of times a week? Weekend trip to a country park or walk in the woods? She doesn't need to do organised sports if they're not her thing but she does need to be active. Two of my children haven't really enjoyed organised sports but have been very active in an informal way. And they all did/do swimming until a certain stage like your DD. Or some children really love Park Run if you haven't tried that before.

I was always a skinny kid and did zero exercise. I exercise a lot as an adult and I track my calories as need to remain in specific weight category for my sport and, honestly, exercise does almost nothing to my expenditure. It's all about the quantities of food - smaller portions, fewer snacks.
I wouldn't force it because you don't want to create negative associations. She may well discover her passion for sport later in life. I have. But this is only possible if you stop pushing it now.

My god!

My ten year old DD is exactly the same and sadly is also prone to over eating so managing her weight is a struggle.

We get out for walks and swimming as a family at the weekend. She’s starting bouldering next week having done a taster session, and I’ve got my fingers crossed she’ll stick with it.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

OP - is she into animals at all? Horse riding is amazing exercise, or even going with you to volunteer to walk dogs (or borrow a friends dog?).

Horseriding? Doesn't really feel like exercise until you get off and realise everything aches.

Does she like animals? Horse riding or dog walking may encourage her to be more active.

Some people just don't like organised sport. I've always swam or climbed. Our 12yo is the same. We've tried lots of things over the years and he's not liked any organised sport. He finally told us to stop making him try things this summer. He does cycle everywhere though.

My DD was the same, but she loved dodgeball and when she started walking to school the puppy fat dropped off her. I don't think she's ever going to be a gym bunny but she's getting exercise now.

Just keep encouraging a healthy lifestyle but I wouldn't keep pushing things at her, let her choose.

Is this right? Can you point to some evidence for this? I thought ‘exercise’ had to raise your heart rate? Not being arsey, I’ll be delighted if this is true.

Op, if she is playing with friends - tag etc - she will be running around a lot without even knowing she is exercising. Feel the modern obsession with exercise is possibly because kids are so much less active and don’t play outside as much. Does she play out with friends?