Parents selling car to my DS

[marvelousmarmaladian]

Trying to work out if IABU to think my parents should sell their car to my DS. He needs a car, they have a car. Both are unable to drive. It is basically rusting away at my sisters house. My DS made an offer. My sister tells me they are thinking about it. Which is weird as my DM doesn't know where she is and DF can't talk properly. What would you do?

Totally agree with @CostcoFanofThree

The trouble is, emotions almost invariably enter these decisions when family is involved.
It sounds like they've always lived nearer your sister than to you.
Your sister could counter the fact that they did a lot for her years ago by saying she's caring a lot for them now.
She may or may not be, only you and she know that.
But, basically, "they did, she did" doesn't matter. If you've both got POA and your parents really don't have capacity, you'll still have to come to a decision somehow.

I don't want to be the first one to enact the POA. They've always been closer to her so I was planning on leaving that up to her. This is a minor detail but would help my DS a lot.

It is is not up to the op to decide that

@PollyBell if the parents don't have capacity and the op and her sister have joint poa (as mentioned) then yes the op and her sister can decide.

but even if the two seniors involved have spotty comprehension it's still nice to involve them in the discussion, even if ultimately the car is sold by the sisters to the op's son (again for a token price).

So this is more about the sister really

What would I do? I'd leave your son and your parents, who are presumably all adults, to sort it out between themselves. If your parents don't want to sell their car, other cars are available for purchase.

Why would you want your son driving a dangerous car? Get him a non-rotting one from a reputable seller. Cars aren’t in short supply.

Of course DS should be able to buy the car - what a waste if sat not being used . Unfair of your sister to object imo

It's not dangerous it's just small , 8 years old and the air con doesn't work.

Rather than have the car sitting there it would make sense for your son to use it. Your sister's DP has used it. There is the possibility that she wants to hold on to it by stealth.
I would tell her either your son buys it or you sell it on in the open market. Having it sit there as a backup for her family is no longer an option. It's not as if your son is trying to steal it.
No point in having equal POA if you are going to.let her dictate every time. Having a depreciating asset sitting there is not in your parents interest. Time to assert yourself. Decisions are only going to get tougher.

Well either way the car is pointless sitting there. You need to suggest to your sister the car should be sold - this could be to your son..if not then explain how you will need to take time to advertise it and deal with viewings. If that is an issue maybe she will change her mind.

8 year old car shouldn't be rusting away, but this isn't really about the car.

anyway, you should get a quote for it from webuyanycar and as long as your sons offer is around that amount, it's at least a fair offer and I
no one is losing out

Suggest insurance cost is the main driver. Air con not working is a first world problem. Can’t help feeling this is all about you and your sister. Parents and son sound like pawns

Is the car registered.
Have it valued by two dealers.
You and your sister should act in your capacity as POA and sell the unused car. It is rusting away and losing value.

Tell your parents that the car is worth Xx. And that your DS would like to purchase it. DS pays into your parents bank. File the paperwork, and reregister the car in DS's name.

You should be having a regular face to face meeting with DSis to discuss DP. Involve their lawyer. Set things legally in order.
Keep all records to prove you are caring for their best interests.

Sell the car and use the proceeds to buy something that would make your parents' life better.

Your son can save to buy a car.

Harsh. At this point my dad just says no to everything as he thinks he is getting his licence back. He won't sell it to a stranger if he won't sell it to his grandson. Just spoke to him today for fathers day, and could not understand a word he said.

If they don’t know where they are, you HAVE to enact the POA.

He has capacity then and has said no. You don't get to decide that your son can have his car when you know he has said no. He might not be ever getting his license back but having POA doesn't give you the right to ignore what he says. He said no. Let the poor man hold onto the hope of some independence.

If your son is wanting to buy the car for a fair price (presumably?), could he not get a similar car for a around the same price from elsewhere? This is assuming he's not hoping to underpay?

Why is the suggestion that you sell your parents’ car and use the money, their money, to benefit them, harsh?

If your ds has £4k to buy that car, he has £4k to buy another car.

What you cannot do is insist that anyone, your parents, your boss, the bloke over the road, sells you their car.

Right so he doesn't want to sell it. End of discussion, surely?

I think you son would be better to buy elsewhere. This sounds like a "don't prod the hornets nest unless you want to get stung" scenario.

Or, you know what, here's a crazy crazy idea I just thought of, how about you could sell the car to your son, and use the proceeds to buy something that would make your parent's life better.

Good grief.

This is a complete misuse of POA. You should be making decisions in their best interest, your motives here are wrong. As soon as your motivation is what is better for your son rather than only using it for them you open yourself to challenge.

The fact they did more for your sister is irrelevant, they had capacity to decide to do those things and help her, you can’t use the POA to redress the balance